random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[VeteranOfTheRetardWars]

This nigga fucks pool toys

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

"I have considered [suicide] many times and almost did it in December, but gave up and collapsed in my bed, crying, after I couldn't find the screwdriver required to disassemble my CRT and electrocute myself with it."

 

[WonderWino]

They're adults and i'm not preying on them. I'm giving them an opportunity for self redemption

Note he was talking about 16 year old zoomer age range here

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

I can't believe the person who acted like a faggot tranny was actually a faggot tranny this entire time

when will Kiwifarms' mass murdering spree end ):

I hate faggots so much it's unreal.

Man I haven’t been around long enough to get invited to anything fun.

*nuzzles the noose as I slip my head through it OwO*

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Just roll the tape of her tight, hairless, un-molested snatch peeing freely.

TOTAL FURRY DEATH! TOTAL FAGGOT DEATH!

 

[WinRAR Free Trial]

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Maybe he shouldn't have let Pilgrim Barbie kidnap his condoms and turn them into dust, then he wouldn't have AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDSSSSSS

Nah just paint some washed up midget pornstars orange, spray paint a dingy and stick it on the canal, jobs a gudun

Sometimes the only way to prove you aren't a molester is to become a peeping tom.

tfw everybody thinks you're a wonderful person but you secretly just wanted to run a gladiatorial arena for retards the whole time

While you were learning chemistry, I studied and mastered the blade.

If someone invites you to their magical realm, run.

I sat here thinking "Surely he just brought kendo sticks and the reporter is being dramatic."

Then I observed the gleaming steel of an épée and I knew we had gone full retard

They can run all they want, but when Christ returns they will not be able to hide.

If anything, chocolate doesn’t have enough chocolate in it in the first place.

This article mentions “potluck suppers” specifically, which leads me to believe the racists go to the lunches.

I also believe in dark chocolate supremacy.

A clown world that has dendrophiles running around raping trees.

Hey man, love is love and tree ring count is just a number.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

If a fire breathing dragon loli becomes a reality, no price is to high.

How can you be certain a software bug or some other malfunction won't cause its robo-vagina to clamp down like a vise, turning your cock into a grisly mess of red flesh?

 

[Artificial Stupidity]

The furry ERP I just dislike, but poor writing? If something is pushed into your throat so far you start to choke, how can you still speak? Terrible attention to detail.

I'll be honest the latest drama is going to give plenty of text but this made me chuckle

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

*faps to gay neko shota on the Blockland forums*

You know the thought had crossed my mind to LARP as a furfag but seeing the people who aren't just LARPing and are actually into it made me change my mind.

 

[Inside your walls]

It's times like these where I wish AIDS was still a death sentence

 

[The Rats in the Walls]

you are God's gayest internet tough guy, you lipstick wearing prancing la-la corpse molesting fruitcake

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

@Estate
Your Head, I'm going to tear it off your shoulders and turn it into a fagolantern

 

[Aquinas 2]

Go back to the Catler group DMs

 

[neverendingmidi]

Sander is like an AI trained on self help books and daytime chat shows attempting to pass the Turing test.

 

[Idiot Asshole]

That was ironic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEARLY THREE YEARS AGO MATE!!!!!! IRONY

I've never specifically joked that I was a paedophile, merely joked about framing others with cheese pizza.

I possess an autistic, deadpan sense of humour that doesn't translate well into a text-based format. But I assumed everybody was already taking that into account and calling me a retard because I'm autistic and such.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

The entire ERP was semi-ironic at the beginning, only became somewhat serious nearing the end

You've been grooming me a bit, making me more internally accepting of my closeted homosexuality.

This is sarcasm. I don't actually desire to troon out, have to say this because all you fucks are conspiring against me and desire nothing but my utmost destruction. Seriously, stop it, I beg you.

source is this post

 

[Shlomo XL]

They put top surgery scars ON A FUCKING CRAB.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I as a kid thought this episode was weird. Now as an adult, I still think its weird.

the British exist to be gayer than America

I have a very simple solution, we execute all tiktok users.

Alrighty, just had a cold shower to drive the lustful thoughts of fatrick chained naked to his half porch at the mercy of SERGEANT LYNDON LAWNGDICK EVANS out my mind

...This is how you know someone is an absolute legend. They shitpost in such a way that the powers that be cannot help but pay attention to it.

I want to throw this dude's aunt a party for being so based. I love her.

Simple designs that look the same minus very small diferences is the crack cocaine for turboautism.

Ok I wasnt actually jacking it while listening to sludge metal. You happy now?

Excuse me while I step away. I need to have a loud moment of incoherent rage in private.

His pronouns are chin / chin.

They are gay men. They want other gay men. They want penis. Dick. Schlong. Shaft. Cock and balls. The main attraction. Yes, handys and blowjobs are fun, but it's like ordering an ice-cream sundae and receiving a bowl of whipped cream with a cherry. Where's the ice-cream? Where's the star of the show???

The level of schadenfreude I'm feeling should probably be illegal.

 

[Pedophobe]

I sense a massive storm of cope and backpeddling is on the horizon.

Nothing says stable individual quite like face tattoos.

This nigga fucks pool toys