random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Big Nasty]

Wow, you can actually hear the fart.

 

[Sprate Header]

Meh im atp where i just dont a fuck anymore.

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

I’ll get concerned only when the day comes that a self-driving car can operate in India that won’t self-destruct upon startup

He says this like he has been informed that he fucked his mom secondhand

"Punch him again, hubby. "

"There's a car up there, and there's two gentlemen staring at us."

 

[LargeChoonger]

Punch him harder Hubby.

 

[assigned Karen at birth]

Source: porn my troon ex used to watch.

I iz smrt. I haz a DAGREE from COLLAGE! Where's YOUR DAGREE from COLLAGE? You are not smrt liek me! I wrote a buk and have a MASTERS DAGREE! You do not, pleb!

I'm cutting my dick off so I can cum harder. Then, I'm cutting my tongue off so I can taste better. Afterwards I'll be chopping my finger tips off so I can feel more sensation. I'm getting a pegleg installed so I can run faster as well.

Disclaimer, I will NEVER invert my penis and hollow out my bowels, but if I ever do, I’ll be sure to post the pictures here

Breadtube and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.

"Ava didn't commission loliporn from Shadman. She bought loliporn from his Twitter page. Checkmate, transphobes."

Why is there hair ON the "penis" ???

Despite being a virgin nerd, I have a very large penis. (Larger than 90% of dicks according to the internet).

“You best start believing in psyops, Kiwi users... you're in one!”

 

[Pedophobe]

I don't know if I should rate horrifying or optimistic.

 

[BirdUp]

Whatever happened to a pair of huge tits on a full developed woman? Why does the body of a child arouse you?

 

[30+GameOvers]

After 20 mins or so, he just got up and left. No sex. No jerking off. Just egg rolling.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I think I met 80% of my friends teasing a retarded man named Chris Chan while wearing a pickle suit.

I'm not sure what this means.

You aren't smart. Your mind is full of television static and telletubbies reruns

If only there were some way to not have strangers fuck you in the asshole.

Fellas, is it autistic to have lifelong passions?

>well, achtually, I could make the same shot if it wasn't the same shot

Brilliant

At first, I laughed. Reread this entire discussion and then laughed harder.

The legendary Kiwi Farms autism faceblindness strikes again

People who fly to a country to eat cuisine from another country infuriate me so. I have to believe they’re WEF-paid plants.

 

[Ammyterasu]

"I'm not frisking you"
"I'm offering you the option"

"Pardon my flatulence."

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

I can certainly say I believe God shudders at the thought of Airline Rewards and Mileage Credit Cards.

 

[Big Brutus]

>I’m aware of the situation
He says this like he has been informed that he fucked his mom secondhand

 

[RuPaul’s Drag Racist]

If Batman is your hero, you're going to meet him very soon.

 

[Thé au lait]

Chris: "[Sonichu] is punching you all each, just a gentle punch to let you know he is here."
Cop: "Okay."
Chris: "Did you feel it? He punched you first."
Cop: "Yeah so I didn't but yknow"
Chris: "Punch him harder, hubby."
source

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

behavior like that is the "leaving home and immediately becoming a whore" for people who couldn't cut it as a whore

these monkeys are honorary white people

People who take psychedelic mushrooms and go all "we are all one" have been memetically destroyed by the Fungi enemy.

At their core, their normal biological instincts have been wiped and re-written to align more with the "lie down and rot"/"why care about hygiene and order" - becoming mere feedstock and creating an optimal environment for fungi to thrive - ultimately helping fungi to dominate the planet. If allowed to spread, their hippie-dom will mean the end of humanity as we know it - and perhaps even the end of the animals as ruling lifeform.

This cannot happen. Acknowledge the fungi enemy - destroy the fungi enemy.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Do not believe anything he writes about his fertility and birth control,especially when they fuck pumpkins.

 

[Truly Rural]

he's 82 years old ackshually, I looked him up I looked him up, I kno I know who he is. Rusty Hardin, I know who he is because, well, I know who everybody is.

 

[Chongqing]

I had to read this and so now you do too.

that’s how cucumbers become pickles, lol not through vaginas, but they need to be put in brine.

 

[Tablet County]

"people that play Dynasty Warriors and jump through hoops to get everything are weird". We know, Yoko Taro, you don't have to tell us.

A BIG sign of autism is going to the club/bar with your friends.

 

[Unique User Name]

Are you speaking English? What's GNAA street shitter and who's Jackie Singh???