random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Thé au lait]

> do you want to see the weeb shelf
> good morning, have a boat

They're made for each other.

 

[PandaChai]

an embarrassment of slant vagina riches

 

[Spectate]

Last one got turned into a Kiwi Dating thread with bingo cards and people getting married and posting videos of each other eloping.

ugh guys, this is just so boring, sigh. why don't we do something else and stop paying attention. hey guys, i'm just really not feeling this one, sigh. can we leave this guy alone already? i don't care about this thread at all, that's why i posted here. ok, but it's not funny to make fun of people, actually. laughing at people is so boring, i'm going to tell everyone how boring i think this is. wow, not funny, dude. sigh, such a boring nothingburger i don't care about, i should tell everyone how much this doesn't interest me.

We got feet picks out of the leak. The money was, in fact, worth it.

 

[Speedrunner]

The most I've seen LinkedIn in action is with people using it to dox its users.

 

[Axiom.]

Calling me a faggot, even though toji and ross want her, isn’t it obvious? No? FUCK YOU THEN

 

[Spectate]

I know one of you are giving her taco bell gift cards off-site

MY 13 YEAR OLD BROTHER IS SMARTER THAN YOU HOLY SHIT WHY CAN'T YOU JUST. ADMIT YOURSELF INTO THE WARD. FUCKING NIGGER

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Reading this thread is more effective than actual self harm

 

[Tri-Tachyon'sClown]

Thank you, Elagabalus. Let no one believe the lie that trannies prostitute themselves out of necessity. Any troon that does it, does it voluntarily for the affirming female rager it gives them to be assfucked by violent johns.

 

[Super Malario]

I think he's saying "¡Ay Ay Ay Señor ICE! ¡Por favor no me deporte!"

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

OH shit I just remembered I got exams tomorrow what the fuck am I doing here I didn't even study
I fucked myself over because of random spergs on the Internet fuck my life !!!!!!!!! SHIT!

 

[Spectate]

THE REASON WHY I AM SAYING NEW ORDER IS BECAUSE I WILL TAKE NULLS PLACE AND MAKE CHANGES AND SHIT THAT YOU SPERGS WILL HATE


I ONLY LIKE METOKUR CUS OF THE BATHTUB ROSS SAGA

 

[Meiwaku]

LALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUNDS OF HAVING FUN LALALAALALALALALA

I have no idea why so many of you feel the need to power level about your own mental problems in a thread about a retarded teenager from Tampa.

Just because the thread has devolved to making bingo cards and pissing in the shower does not mean you can get away with this, you broke a women's heart all because 3 pages of e-dating in the dm is too long.

i dont piss myself ““constantly””

i dont piss myself intentionally

All the world's a stage,
And all the simps merely gooners;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one simp in his time goons many times,
His acts being seven cooms.

@Trombonista UNBAN ME FROM THE HALL THREAD
I AM BEING MENTIONED THERE AND I HAVE A RIGHT TO RESPOND TO PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT ME
UNBAN ME

View attachment 7210490

You have been banned for the following reason: calmdown time

This a Kiwi Farms thread, not a retirement home

I may be a “faggot”, a “tranny”, but atleast im not a bigger faggot than Toji, #freeross, daddy’s angry juice, and all the retards that tried to gain her love.

THE REASON WHY I AM SAYING NEW ORDER IS BECAUSE I WILL TAKE NULLS PLACE AND MAKE CHANGES AND SHIT THAT YOU SPERGS WILL HATE

 

[Maldavius Figtree]

Oompa Loompa doompa-dee-doo
I've got a funny puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompa-dee-dee
How can a guy not have a pee-pee?

Are you a man when you cut off your tits?
Tearing off arm flesh and making new bits?
How can a man be born with a twat?
What would your parents think, of, that?

When posting pictures of underage girls showing off their mastectomy scars, censor the nipples, just out of caution.

A community of people who jerk of with anatomically accurate dog penis shaped dildos

one night our fathers were horny and our moms actually let him bust a fat load inside of her. That load was YOU

All I'm hearing is he has 2/3s of a month to kill another sex slave.

 

[Tablet County]

You either die saying gay nigger faggot, or you live long enough to see yourself become the gay nigger faggot.

you just blew $20 on some Mormon hand porn.

For every time this pooner cuts, a dog plays a guitar.

 

[Aunt Carol]

ok i don't know what i was thinking when i posted this, this was genuinely retarded

Every time I see a goth troon I think of you now.

Fake wedding documents aren't public records.

Sam isn’t some college-age hunk, he’s a schlub with zero career prospects and a need for medicated shampoo.

 

[Tablet County]

Strap me to a rocket and launch me at anyone who wants to censor. I'm ready.

You could spend years of your life learning about different histories and cultures to better be racist against them and you'll end up getting out performed by some uneducated soy drinking libtard. They ruined racism.

*Old Man kiwi throws trash cans at Nurses to rate them dumb*

People spend billions of dollars for nitrogen fertilizer in the form of urea.... But if I piss on the floor while yelling that I'm vegan I get banned from Easter .

 

[Meat Target]

What's a little wire fraud among friends?

 

[Tablet County]

Thank God they don't allow Disastrous Mattressess

 

[Gentlebastard]

So long as its done non-consensually for the strict purposes of domination and humiliation then it aint gay no matter how much I squeal with girlish delight while rawdogging a sobbing fatrick in a mating press.

If it worked for the Romans it will work for me.

Using the site on days like these is always a treat, just like walking through a construction site.

Hell, the foreman even calls you slurs if you annoy him too much, just like real life.

Using the site on days like these is always a treat, just like walking through a construction site.

Do you have a timestamp for the botching in question, or is it just the entire video?

Edit: Oh no. I can tell a couple minutes in that it’s just the entire video

I hope the wife (the actual woman) dumps his ass and finds a real man who will wash the dishes and shag her senseless. Run, lady. Run fast, run far

This looks like one of those simulated stroke images. My wife is in the middle of cooking dinner and I'm no longer hungry after googling this for you.

There are isolated tribes that understand biology better than these fuckwits because they understand and accept “penis in vagina -> baby out of vagina nine months later,” or “two dicks touching -> no baby.”

I associate Asian women with the antagonist in horror films. I literally screamed when one came up to me at a job I had. They're so scary.

 

[Tablet County]

'Deferred parody of consent'

That has to be one of the rapiest statements i've ever heard come out of someones mouth.

EOD guys on the compound I was on for most of my deployment had beards,in western Iraq. Dudes never interacted with locals and did very little in general but they rocked beards.

I'm Commander Shepard and this is the best thread on the Citadel.

I really need to thank Karl Yobst for shiting himself

You can see it in her OF leaks. They look like ISIS hostage pics.