random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[MrJokerRager]

Illegal immigrant children under the age of like 4 should be loaded into cannons and shot out. They get to have fun and so do we.

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

Out of this whole fucking mess, the thing that broke me the most was the lunamoth armpit tat

Every EMT in the area better get ready. Richard’s “Brooks Was Here” moment is imminent.

I can't believe they let the kid go around with an eyepatch, it looks silly, doubly-so for a kids movie.

Since when did my brain's ability to express itself have a fucking coin slot I need to put coins in to make it work like a kids novelty ride outside a supermarket?

I want fucking jimmy beast to go whats up guys today we're giving 100 iraqis ptsd smash that like button

 

[JustSomeDong]

I've played Sim City for two and a half hours so now I'm a fully qualified civil engineer. How hard can building a city be?
What do you mean power plants can't be built instantly?

 

[I'm a Silly]

I doubt Greenwald cares about making political statements when he is busy licking feet.

 

[CaddestSlown]

She is just looking for a reason to be the slam pig at a toga party.

 

[Tablet County]

I like to be alliterative when discussing racial politics man.

 

[Pokemanifsmokeweed]

I officially categorize you as THE RAPED. You were RAPED

 

[Patryk Kornatowski]

@Ytsuken fucking kill yourself.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Null has both wins and losses under his belt, and in a perpetual war on retards. Ice cream state undetermined.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

Less they want to have sex with women and more they don't know them as well as other women

 

[Hitman One]

"You're clean, right?"

"Of course. You?"

"Me too."

"Great, now pozzload my neghole, daddy."

I'm going to prison.

 

[Tablet County]

Whites driving 4mph over the limit: severe punishment
Paki rape gangs: please stop asking us about these.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

as our forum's honorary Rapist-In-Chief, let me go through how I would make this so called rape happen.

 

[Gentlebastard]

George R. R. Martin and his consequences have been a disaster for the public perception of fantasy novels.

"Here I am, dropping on you all my many misfortunes in the span of a few minutes, but I am not going to ask you for anything because I am not that kind of person. I just told you all of this for literally no reason. No reason at all."

"I just opened a GoFundMe, please donate."

Don't disrespect my property rights, I won't disrespect your functioning, non-perforated heart and lungs rights.

Thank you for impying mimes are more deplorable than serial killers.

Gentrification of gangbangs lol
What a time to be alive.

I just always remember there's a wikipedia page and a whole news shitstorm literally called "The French Bukkake Affair".
That's all the details I need to know.

Paying high-speed lead unto thieves avoids all this.

Women are astonishingly gullible and stupid when you dangle even a modest amount of money in front of them.

Of course, men are equally stupid when you dangle a decent pair of tits on front of them, so whaddya gonna do?

 

[Tablet County]

Thank you, Chlamydia.

 

[Mound Dweller]

I support this, and do it often. Always try to poop on the clock if I can. Sometimes twice a day.

 

[JustSomeDong]

SNEED. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO SNEED YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO FEED. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF STICKERS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY PROFILE. IF THE WORD SNEED WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE SNEED I FEED FOR CHUCKS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. SNEED. SNEED.​

 

[Dr. Butt]

I was reading the Marianas Variety, Micronesia's leading newspaper since 1972

 

[That Other Dude's Persona]

This is starting to fucking annoy me, now you are calling me a fucking inbred, when I'm not. It's starting to fucking IRRITATE ME.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

shut the fuck up i genuinely despise you, i hope you die of aids get the fuck out of my dm's you will never see my feet i hope you choke to death on your own blood you miserable faggot

But I bet there are multiple speds still here in chat, even now potentially