random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Black Man Underwear]

I'm just saying, I've had girls "squirt" and it was like a little poot. But I've also had a bitch just piss in my mouth and make me guzzle like three pints. That wasn't "squirt". You literally can't make fun of this, it's too traumatic.

 

[Potato Burrito]

I don't know why you think you have grounds to be a moralfag while on an active kiwi farms account. If you're here, you're an asshole.

Being thin-skinned and choosing to be a member here is retarded. So yes, that makes you the retard.

 

[often puzzled]

(Every time I visit this thread I end up googling a stat or something that results in Google reminding me that there's help for my depression. But the help for my depression is Kiwi Farms.)

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

Just look at this beast. Head shaped like an urn no one bothered to pick up from the funeral home.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I really really hope the bathroom floor is wet the day they tase him.

 

[neger psykolog]

Someone drop a penny it will bring him back into the thread

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Dude... he's clearly jerking off to it. I just don't care. Laugh at it and move on.

he's actually been using the same sex toys in his videos for so long, you can honestly use them as a way to identify if something is his content or not

The only logical conclusion? People who play MMOs are faggots.

Anarcho-retardism is the position you're sharing.

For the love of God I don't want to see some yammering about the foundations of Neolithic state formation in the thread about how Ubisoft and EA are dickheads for selling faulty products.

She did all of this in Minecraft btw in the plane of digital existence and not K-Mart in the 20th century.

I guess that being bullied on the Internet beats loneliness.

Bro I know I’m retarded but I’m so glad I’m not this retarded

pain is how we learn, and this particular 16 year old could use a few life lessons.

There is a internet person I don't know who is involved in a quagmire of their own retardation? I will stand up for them in the thread dedicated to oust them!

Chocolaftas taste a lot sweeter when you steal them.

The line between gayops and legitimate retarded niggerfaggotry has never been as blurred as it is now

They really are stuck in the 2010's and that HOI mod is like an autism tesseract. It transcends 3 dimensions of tism.

Everybody loses, which rules.

why in the hell would I want to be some random gay ass weak pony instead of a chad warrior centaur?

It's like Ted Kacynski meets Chris Chan's freakout over Sonic's arms being blue.

Unicorns have telekinesis and shit and can shoot magic.

I CANT HELP IT!!!!!!!

If its funny, I'm going to comment.

Kids like to fuck in the gender neutral bathrooms.

You can create in minutes what could've taken weeks and a team of dedicated autists not so long ago.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Life pro tip: if the name of your child sounds like the name of the main character of a JRPG, go back to the drawing board.

He has a god of laughter on his shoulder and it occasionally whispers in his ear "hey it will be really funny if you do x"

when I was in Japan, I once stumbled into a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament in the basement of an electronics store in Osaka. The STENCH smacked me in the face before I realized there were a bunch of fat nerds playing children's card games staring at my gaijin ass. I guess stank is a universal language.

He's a malicious retard. There was no "reasoning"

I see this kind of concentrated seethe and I just wish I could be a fly on the wall of the ha’ hovel for a day.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Here.

 

[PhoBingas]

Yeah she was catcalled on ARPANET

 

[Meiwaku]

THIS THREAD IS WHAT ALL ALOGS SHOULD ASPIRE TO REPLICATE

Brother, I am an anime avatar with a MAGA hat in the Kino Casino thread, you should be thankful I'm not screaming about CP in red capslock.

Hey anybody got a Hasanjak so I can use it to Anne Frankpost?

i was given hepatitis b clot shot at birth, 1000% increase in autism, jews made me retarded, they didn't count on me being too retarded for their brainwashing though

No, fuck you goy. Go outside and have sex.

Technically being right doesn't make you less retard. Tough lesson, i know.

I'm a longtime manmoder who has lurked here for years. I take hrt but i see my troon bullshit as a mental illness and i don't attempt to present as the opposite sex.

This feature is a dissertation on why there should be a noose sticker or a public shaming wall. A trash can or autism sticker doesn't do justice to how utterly, bike stealingly niggercore-retarded some of the posts I just read were

Some from Brad Taste in Music

I meant to say it in a medieval way
Watched Brokeback Mountain, I'm a medieval Gay.

 

[Mound Dweller]

Here is something funny: As a faggot, I have seen his naked pictures and he has a small thin dick.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I personally have seen a deep fried crème egg.

 

[Grand Duke Snowfall]

This feels like video game progression. At first, no one in the world gave a shit about characters freely wearing pride pins, but now that they've finished the Papa Homophobe quest, all the roving bands of Level 10 bigot encounters have spawned in.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Vintage quotes

I find myself getting a lot more SATI than MATI these days

You're not even a sentient human being, as far as I'm concerned, unless you know how to use a fucking apostrophe.

 

[Blindeye]

So many people blame the death of malls on Amazon and online commerce, but it was the niggers.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I am absolutely here for the:

1. Religious bickering
a. Jewy bickering
b. New Age bickering
c. Wignat bickering
d. Deep soul bickering

 

[Aunt Carol]

But then again it would mean 10 pages of retardation so maybe it's best to not have a feature.

There's nothing in the Quran that says electronics are haram.

"my (alc.m) fiancee (abu.f) isn't accepting her new identity."

Wow, I hope I get degenerating corneal disease and a comorbidity making a transplant unlikely to succeed now!

 

[Nancy]

Hasan doesn't even have the basic strength to make a gorilla nest.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Who doesn’t have a penis sleeve? Why just this morning I was trying to decide between the yellow sleeve with a circular pattern on it or the blue sleeve with stripes. In the end I decided on the blue sleeve as it matched the tie I planned to wear.

she now has even dumber looking nipples than before

It's the Little Mermaid's penis, obviously.

It looks like the "clit" is about ready to speak to the manager.

'I always thought it was a bit weird' says a guy who 15 years ago almost broke up your friendship over the proper way to refer to Caitlyn Jenner.

White girls fuck Wes Anderson.