random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Dr. Butt]

Do not cut off your penis. You just need friends and self love.

 

[Law]

Science should do more funny things like this from time to time.

 

[frozen_runner]

PLEASE PROVIDE GOVERNMENT ID TO CONTINUE WATCHING ADVERTISEMENTS CHOO-CHOO TRAIN VIDEOS, AUTIST.

BECAUSE I'M NOT MAD ENOUGH OR HAD SEX YET

Becoming a tranny and willingly moving to Chicago is some next level brain damage.

Everything I know about Andrew Tate has been learned against my will.

It's possible to have ironic sex with Destiny?

Man I hate it when this happens, I get my newspaper, I prepare to take a crap and my entire ass falls out of me.

I love you niggers but I wouldn't marry anyone on here.

I am not sure if I should push informative or horrifying

How many children do you bite a month, on average?

The couple that Alogs together stays together

My sensei taught me the "Hontōni hidoi nioi o hanatsu geijutsu", a powerful technique that allows one to overwhelm my enemy's senses using the sheer power of my body's ki, rendering such concentration techniques useless before me.

Oh God I just ran over the neighbor's dog because my vision was obscured by my HUGE FUCKING COCK

I feel less informed after learning this.

spiritual pajeetism

Maybe I need to check the clip instead of relying on the "Grio".

Every day I thank God I escaped the shithole that is Illinois.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I guess we can list Hyrule as another nation the Jews have been expelled from.

 

[BigGuyOS 6 : Jovial Janny]

I hate to powerlevel, but I assure you that hosting a 'lesbian oil-wrestling party' at your house is not the erotic scene I presume heterosexual men indulge in. Admittedly I'm not sure any East Asians attended.

 

[Dr. Butt]

you can kick out the pig outta puddle of shit, but you can't puddle of shit outta the pig, or something like that

 

[often puzzled]

"Holy shit look at this dude" may have been one of the points Reagan and traitor Gorbachev agreed on if Cobes existed in the 80s.

 

[PhoBingas]

Also, "a plain, beastly, drunken, filthy, lying nigger with a spreading nose through which probably tons of cocaine have been sniffed" is the best description of Nick Rekieta I have ever read.

 

[JustSomeDong]

At a certain point on the retardation scale, things shift from being too retarded to be true to too retarded to not be true.

Why would you take the money from a sad lonely man on a love quest to marry Taylor Swift.

 

[DumbDude43]

Please saar I have top shelf ketamine saar, guaranteed to get you drowned saar, so good you go underwater and blub blub blub

 

[MerelyAPlateOfSpaghetti]

Brother, the greatest compliment anyone could pay to me would be to draw a hilariously massive dong on my tombstone.

 

[Dr. Butt]

She's a normal person and isn't in the know on specific types of furry porn but as a professional insane internet person I deduced from her description of it that it was some kind of femboy futa inflation sex shit.

 

[Aunt Carol]

"Here's my bold plan to get sex, money, and power. I will enact this plan after I do some dabs and sit on the couch all afternoon watching MLP and eating tendies."

Sounds like you need to be SPAYED and NEUTERED to function properly.

Yes, he's so swanlike and pale and beautiful and white and petite and fragile and cute with a teeny tiny vagina because the author is NOT a pedophile. This is a SOCIAL COMMENTARY, dammit!

He watched a court stenographer enter into the public record his own mother calling him creepy and thought to himself “I’d totally be winning this case if my evil dad didn’t give my brother money one time.”

 

[Speedrunner]

Ha ha you have a gay fat hand.

 

[Doxmatix]

Cool lets load up Tony Hawk and just fucking read every character description and fuck around with the menus

Imagine if you went into your boring office job on Monday morning, and half the staff were like, "Oh yeah, I fucked this weekend! High five!" Uh, OK Dorothy.

I'm learning so much about architecture.

Bet you he's into some weird shit, magician types are always strike me as possible date rapists

Women are scary.

Murderers should get a carbon credit for each co2 source they snuff out.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

very bright idea, as if the foot pics i had to send to get t&h weren't enough of an invasion of privacy

The brapple does not fall far from the tree.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

Consider yourself lucky, There is a fat furry on top of my house.

 

[30+GameOvers]

You two made me remember there's a status in Fear and Hunger called "anal bleeding", something that was meant to horrify the player most likely ended up attracting troons like flies to honey.

 

[Pedophobe]

Just because you had a dream where your teeth fell out doesn't mean you should run and get pliers.

Yet another nigger who thinks he's a super hacker for posting on a gossip website about spergs and fat people.

If there is a god, I hope we all die in a flood that is made up of only super mega AIDS diarrhea.

Stocks in $NOTHING are through the roof! BUY BUY BUY!

 

[Miss Violet Beauregarde]

I thought this was about that damn Lombax.