random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

I've never seen this one before, a reverse Trudeau? "If your enemies kill you, you win."

 

[Cholesterol Gremlin]

i have lost count of how many times i've cum to the sound of bike horn honking or silly laughs.

what do you mean the normal amount of clown porn consumption is zero??? that can't be right,,,,,,,

 

[Two Dollars]

What a terrible toilet world.

 

[Spectate]

There's a lot of things on my to due list:

1. Get a drivers license
2. Make friends
3. Have a quick google search reveal that I’m a horse fucking nonce who thinks all “cunts” should be “killed” , ie: so much baggage that Aaliyah wouldn’t even get on a plane with me
4. Be Disowned by my mom
5. Get kicked out of my parents house

 

[JackingOffGeorgeLucas]

You came out as transgender at ELEVEN?

shameless self quote, heh

 

[Aunt Carol]

Nope, you wrote 'medium-sized breasts'. And that he also had large areolas that were 'salmon pink'. You can't even remember his tit size in a rape fic YOU wrote.

Shit's been this faggy since Stephen Universe.

 

[Mound Dweller]

He wasn't even the original Satan.

 

[Stan]

I am a real woman into Elden Ring and my interest skews to a totally different PLACE than Zullie's. I spend a lot of time thinking about and writing fan-fic about the characters. I am not datamining or putting up builds or making BIS countdown listicles or trying to beat Malenia 4000 times. I'm more like "Why is Patches bald? Does he have alopecia totalis? This is surely an important lore choice given From Soft's obession with big hair." "What are the Nomadic Merchants and why can't I marry one of those instead of Ranni?" "Is Morgott really the hero of the game and we're the baddies?" "Is burning the Erdtree truly necessary? I don't want to." "Why does the Mohg and Miquella questline read like it was written by Jerry Sandusky?" *inscribes pillar candle with Erdtree seal as practice for inscribing Paschal Candles*

 

[Cnidarian]

There is no universe in which you will convince me triple hyphenated surnames are rational.

 

[Tablet County]

I will genuinely kill myself before giving even a single peso to an Internet forum admin. How you can even suggest that without vomiting all over your keyboard is beyond me.

 

[indomitable snowman]

"You monsters doxxed me."

It's alright, we're legal observers.

 

[Dr. Butt]

"fuck around and finf out"

 

[Trombonista]

and as they say sexual frustration is a terrifying thing.

 

[Chandelier]

Finally, a FTM copes with the dysphoria-inducing elements of Canadian cockslop Heated Rivalry by just pretending one or both of them might actually be roided out

but then again, I guess they're harder to imagine moaning and bouncing on quivering cocks.

 

[Tablet County]

It's actually very easy to not break into someones home and sexually assault him.

Box wine is colloquially called "goon". Box wine enjoyers were the real gooners before the word adopted a whole other meaning on the internet.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Have you ever gotten the milkshake shits and had to run back to your Disney cruise cabin toilet, and you weren't sure if you'd fit?

 

[DickMain]

OPEN THIS THREAD
CTRL + F LOOKING FOR THE WORD JEW.
PHRASE NOT FOUND.

 

[Dr. Butt]

And who made him do that? Could it be.. Oh I don't know.. SATAN?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Rule #6: Women who go around being female AT men deserve punishment

Your fake vulva stinks and you cry all day.

Come on, Danish ex-hubby: suck her tits, make Zach homeless.

 

[Sebben Crudele II]

Spiritual prostitute, physical virgin.