random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Meat Target]

Most threads are retarded and I have no interest in cavorting with downies about Jewish conspiracies that have existed for over a century.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

From chat:

I gooned to rectangles on e621 once

 

[Gentlebastard]

The annoying thing about female conformity is that they are attracted to conformist males. A gentleman in 2026 has to hide his tastes, intelligence, politics and power level just to have a chance at wooing her. If she knew you were going to go home and sit in your perfectly practical 3 for $10 Walmart undies and listen to dinosaur music from 1986, she'd report you for rape.

That's why you piss in the shower. If you can't increase accuracy, then increase margin of error.

I could knead your one line into an entire, one-hour stand-up show in Vegas!

The latter half-hour will mostly focus on waffle-stomping, and pre-French-Civil-War undergarment fashion.

How do you explain to a developmentally delayed child that their father chose his sissyporn fetish over them.

2 whole days of not using the internet? The only explanation is that she's dead.

Look, I'm not from Australia, I can't speak to the construction of your female homunculi.

Enslave a british person and make them prepare your tea.

Ah, applying "Retard's Razor". I like it. "When two unknown options appear to be equally possible, assume the most retarded one is the more likely outcome because a LOLCow is involved."

If you want to start a sex cult you need to start it yourself as the head of the cult is usually the one getting any.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

As long as we are daydreaming Is there a fuck everything cult i can join?

 

[Sensitive Young Man]

In retrospect I probably should have raped her.

 

[PhoBingas]

fortunately for the most part these men are more likely to kill themselves once their hairline get culturally enriched by The Norwood Reaper than be in positions of power.

 

[BigMan13]

Uh does BlackRock fund anime?

 

[Aunt Carol]

I, a grown ass adult literally brought a frog inside to show people a few months ago while doing yard work. Doesn't feel like that long but it was. Sometimes people don't wanna come outside to see the frog and will frame you as crazy otherwise. People are fucking stupid man.

Personally I would drop whatever I was doing immediately if someone told me they saw a cool frog outside.

he should still say nigger to prove he's legit

 

[Helping Friendly Book]

gender fluid is a nickname for transmission oil

 

[Nickel Silver]

HE'S CUCKED
HE'S A FURRY
HE'S DRAGONMAXXING

 

[Speedrunner]

All these years and I still haven't stopped staring at her boobs.

 

[Stan]

I had an erotic dream about Nick Rekeita
this is how down bad I am

 

[Meat Target]

I would rather fuck a Japanese woman than a dog. I think that's a rather normal opinion.

 

[PhoBingas]

Damn man. Crack must be, like, really good.

 

[Swollen Butthole Groyper]

SthyxHexthenHammerThixThixThix

"what if I just kept her full of ralphaseed . . . and just absolutely bursting at the seams . . . with ralphababy"

 

[Oliver Onions]

He never leaves his room, so I don't know why he needs a watch

 

[Meat Target]

What part of "they drink liquid cow shit" do you find pleasant?

Your food shouldn't be sterile. It's meant to have life inside of it.

 

[Gentlebastard]

people on the Internet think that I'm skeevy, therefore instead of changing my behavior I'm going to sue Kiwi Farms, a website, instead

I still don't think he understands the extent to which his ecosystem is troll-compromised, i.e., every square inch. Not one sincere question has been asked on his livestream in years.

Sometimes a chicken parm is just a chicken parm.

I have more respect for a guy that just pays a hooker to lose his virginity, than whatever this is.

Working in this store has made me realize that legitimately the best way to control crime is to just euthanize people when they get three or more felony thefts on their records, especially if they get felony theft stealing from fucking dollar tree.

You have to love when the LOLCows narc on themselves in the process of impotent rage. It is so fucking funny.

Hello, unknown person. It is I, relative of your bf/gf. They unfortunately fucking died for real.

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

Who wouldn't want to be in constant physical and emotional pain because of french fries?

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

One must imagine a quirky millennial white woman with little plastic (human) feet attached to her mobility aid; horrifying and objectively cringe, but not even in any fun way in which it can be excused

The year of incestuous deer is upon us.