random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Rembrandt]

a brown tear just shed down my pants.. im so happy

 

[Gentlebastard]

The computer doesn’t call you slurs yet, because we haven’t trained it to

This is a promising new growth field in AI: systems that clock users and trollishly ask for pronouns or tell them “you look great hon”

a good rule by which to consoom any kahntent online is to assume that anything inexplicable is a sex fetish

She writes nervously, apparently clueless to the fact that she's willfully chosen to become a pharmaceutical pay pig for a long, long time.

I hope you all imagined a violin solo played by mice as you read this post, because I sure did.

I feel as if some posters have an aura about them - a sort of sweaty, yeasty essence - that one need not eyes to see.

A real autist would know that knife fights are a bad idea.

Fuck you the F35 is fucking sexy.

It's like tomboy abs I wanna lick it

I know I should stop going to Twitter. HOWEVER

 

[PhoBingas]

It's hard to describe to someone who didn't see it for themselves, but it was really like MJ himself reached through the screen and touched the little kid next to me.

 

[General Emílio Médici]

The Muslim girl I was friends with in school came without her hijab one day (terrorist attacks nearby made her paranoid about it) and she suddenly looked like a super model. Allah forgive me, I would have attempted to do the haram if we weren't already friends for too long (also I'm sure her family would have murdered her).

I know its preposterious to even think this and I have no proof to confirm me, but you gotta trust me on this one because I have a feeling that tells me its true.

Congrats on being Jewish, hopefully we'll sit next to each other in the oven

 

[Computer God Autism]

So my dad, Hitler, my dad Hitler and the Jews.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

I like a midget pretending to be a robot. I shoot aliens. I am happy.

Our only similarity is that we both have vaginas that were penetrated by putrid pirate penis!

If you think about it… warlocks and niggers, is there really any difference?

 

[Dr. Butt]

I attempted reason

don't call it a grave

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

You're correct and I suck cocks

 

[Hitman One]

I cannot even begin to start to think about considering the possibility of hypothetically caring about this.

 

[Paul Revere Pantry Raider]

I clicked on a thread, read this, and now you have to, too.

Dicks are awesome. They come in all shapes and sizes, some are skinny and curved and others are fat and bulbous like a submarine. When a cock gets hard, you know that you've done that; it is a visible, tangible, solid object of pure excitement. An erection cannot be hidden, it will not relent, it will come back with even more fury if denied.

A cock is the barest and most blunt representation of male virility. It stands proud, tall, erect. It is the giver of life, the force which drives men to greatness, and the undeniability of it all makes it absolute. When a man is hard in front of me, I know he is a fag. There is no other explanation. A man's cock is a part of him, a part he treasures; one he has chosen to share at it's finest moments.

And yet, a cock is a place of vulnerability. It is something any reasonable man wishes to protect at all costs. You can take an arm, a leg; anything but the cock. The balls are soft, easily hurt, and exposed. When a man allows you to suck his cock, he is baring himself to you, showing a vulnerable part of his soul and absolute trust. It throbs, it jumps, it tenses and explodes; everything it does, it reflects the man's desires in an undeniable way.

That, my fellow kiwis, is why I love big, throbbing, juicy cocks.

 

[PetiteFeet]

granted, i'm not an experienced level 99 master rapist myself

 

[Zeftax]

There is nothing straighter than BL.

I am glad to offer schizophrenia cures to others

I thought he just realized he was being a faggot, I should have known better.

New objective: bully him into eating vegetables.

*giggles like a moron"

Unsubscribed, unstarred, deleted, forgotten. RIP

it is really fucking sad that society has decayed to the point that there are enough of these people to warrant a thread.

Personally, I've been looking for a boyfriend on Kiwifarms.net.

Active thread? LOL

No, it was locked until just recently.

Also it was moved into the food category and spammed with beans.

Why?

Serious business.

Or beanness.

*nods*

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Just bury it. If you can't see the problem it doesn't exist.

Square headed dumb shit. Couldn't even do her own research?

We might have found an actual girl on the internet.

Imagine going back in time to tell people that one of the largest cartoon shows of the future is about Invader Zim with horns and Nightmare King Grimm having fujo romance drama.

SARRR each tophat is a transfer of your Izzat into my crypto wallet sarrr do the needful redeem this Jugaad for increased Izzat

Timmycels need to be put in their place like the basterd benchode bitches they are.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Self-modifying spaghetti code mutating on the fly off the shoulder of a production server. I watched Turing-complete interpreters, written entirely in recursive SQL, glitter in the dark near a bash script text file database. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

This is it. Peak reddit. Close the thread. Shows over, folks. We're done here.

Imagine not using stickers for funsies.

"You can't stop me!" screams the impotent tranny as the based janny effortlessly hits delete post for the gorillion time.

Let the boys play in their thread, you disgusting pedo tranny. Try not to rape anyone on the way out.

It's not fake, it's a sex thing.

Their obsession with niche porn and its terminology is terrifying.

You win zero dollars and no Izzat.

If these faggots had good parenting, they wouldn't be the faggots they are...and we wouldn't have a thread. I think I'd be okay with that, but I'm not so sure about some of my fellow kiwis...

don't mistake the two desbite boths' love of incest.

Midwit indeed. It's explicitly stated that Tigger is "the only one", and therefore not part of a native population, but an escaped exotic pet.
Since bears, pigs and donkeys do share ranges - the Sierra Nevadas spring immediately to mind - all we need to do is look for an escaped tiger and not only can we prove Dawkins wrong, we can locate the hundred acre wood to somewhere northeast of LA.
We can also therefore deduce that Kanga and Roo are actually chupacabras, which explains why I never liked them.

This is probably the most autistic thing I will ever post but earlier I was on r/bigfoot.

I've always felt that although there's a certain visceral emotional appeal to barbed and bladed vagina boobytraps, in actual practice a cunt full of rapist blood is maybe not a huge improvement to the process of being raped.

Just a heads up. If your universe has a toroidal topology, you're probably living in a video game.

Ah shit Hitler’s gonna sue me for slandering his good name.

 

[souschef]

Dicks are awesome. They come in all shapes and sizes, some are skinny and curved and others are fat and bulbous like a submarine.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

"I'll be taking these used tampons, and all of the birdseed behind the register."

Just don’t take yourself to seriously, and remember that someone claiming to be your toilet doesn’t need to be told they are not.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

@Zeftax I say so much retarded shit literally daily, and you choose to quote that? It is not even funny.

Because Superboy-Prime, if he existed in our current 2026 would be a looksmaxxing, a-log of the writers at DC, also likley incredibly racist

@The Mighty Banth HELP WHY ARE THEY JAPANESE

That is the mystery of the excommunicated crab.

what the fuck did Garth Ennis ever do except live fast and fail to die young?

As they practically hate David Zazlav and view him as Hitler 3 possibly hitler 4

I remember that Replika app being advertised to me on facebook before it blew up, I tried to get it to say nigger for like 15 minutes then uninstalling it when I realized I couldn't get any racist remarks

BB's fanny must be like a bin bag, everytime she goes for a shit that fetus is going to have to brace itself against the walls just to stay in the womb.

The last trimester, whenever Blue sneezes, the kid will be bungie jumping

Don't be acting like the foreskin when you're only the nut-suck section right above the balls on the dick.

As a Dane I should know more about my neighbours to the south, but I don't

TIE YOUR COCK IN A KNOT FOR ME, WHORE

You can get a n-word exemption pass from the hospital. I have one because I used to say nigger all the time and get beat up by black folks. It's a card I keep in my wallet explaining that it's illegal to physically retaliate if I call someone the n-word. Anytime I say nigger I take it out and show it to the black people nearby and they're legally required to stand down. It's saved my life a few times.
The biggest problem I've encountered while using it is that most niggers don't know how to read. I started carrying an mp3 player with a little portable speaker that recites the text on the card in a rap song. I've found that's really helped connect with the urban youth.

i'm an american, i don't need to know how math works with numbers other than 2, 3, and 5,280

We can also therefore deduce that Kanga and Roo are actually chupacabras, which explains why I never liked them

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

So many female fetishes are reducible to the desire to be a contract lawyer.

Taking chomo money and using it to fight chomos. The vast tapestry of life.

Separate your feelz about the product from your feelz about the maker, people. And for gawd's sake-keep your shitting life to yourself.

The Will Stancil saga feels like some sort of bizzaro guerrilla marketing campaign for the Honda Fit.

PS: Clean your body

 

[PandaChai]

These are the ballsack pussylips to end all ballsack pussylips

 

[Autistic Joe]

This thread is a toilet and everybody has diarrhea.

 

[King Metalia]

LET THIS BE A LESSON TO EVERY FOREIGNER AND FAGGOT AND A&NIGGER AND DOOMER AND MOSSAD AGENT IN THIS THREAD:
DON'T FUCK WITH THE USA!!!