random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gunty King]

Apologies if this is only for quoting posts from the forum itself, but this Ethan Ralph line is one of my favorites since the Null Kino Casino Gator episode, and I think it would fit.

"Because Gator... His mind is like a fuckin' vault, and the motherfucker is unpolluted by drugs, and alcohol, and women."

Alternatively you can shorten it to PPP's version which is funnier IMO

"Gator's mind is like a vault. It's unpolluted by drugs, alcohol, and women."

 

[Humbert Humbert]

Vote for a Republican, get an Israeli.

ARE YOU FUCKING READY TO DIE FOR ISRAEL?!?!

 

[RomanianSchizo]

Ayatollah? More ACK-atollah.

GIVE ME YOUR FORESKIN AND YOU SHALL HAVE THESE POWERS YOU SEEK.

ssssheeeeit click click i'm da midwester now

Mossad is literally in my walls.

Mossad gave me an UTI.

MESSAGE FOR PATRIOTS!
Code word is Ronald McDonald

 

[Meat Target]

Their foreskin grows back and they get teleported straight to sheol (that's jew hell), where nobody has exact change

 

[Bill Evans 45]

Because on some level even Russel realizes that the solution to problems like Greer out in the deep desert counties is to hit it with a shovel and leave it for the vultures.

 

[Doxmatix]

This needs to go in the random text thread that I am too lazy to find

Here is a screenshot of the world's saddest man being twirked to death by a chinese hooker:

Tried to show my gf DSP and she said his voice sounded like "Kermit the frog but if he was an asshole" and refused to watch more of him.

Pros: First sighting of actual silverware in the Burnell household.

Cons: He's using it to eat cookies.

It's pretty crazy that jerking off on camera isn't even in his top 5 most embarrassing moments anymore.

You beeze too close to the sun and next thing you know it's nothing but emojis, pig latin and Klingon.

multi quote is for bitches.

Here we go!
I want
Tasty
Put in my
Squeeze the peel, it in !!!
Squeeze banana!

 

[San Marino]

Popufur Pooner Puppychan had broken up with her neo nazi troon boyfriend after a particularly subpar relationship.

 

[Sean Andalou]

Like crabs in a bucket if the crabs had guns and crack.

 

[Sooty Soot]

Also what's the issue with a refugee crisis, Israel doesn't receive refugees from these wars, you can just send them to Europe.

 

[DickMain]

Okay, can we stop talking about Mr. Hands and focus on Mr. Bear?

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

That would explain her "I'm about to evict him a second time" comment. She didn't mean second eviction in general, she meant it personally.

 

[Chromeo]

When you become so antisemitic that you think Hitler was a Zionist agent.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Spoilers : Bossman won't stop smoking crack.

@Null
poop lol

 

[Zeftax]

I just told my cat to enjoy prison.

Please PM me your real name. After regaining our breaths, me and my future wife who I haven't met yet have decided to name our first-born after you.

Straight here but I agree that there is a certain aesthetic harmony in throbbing hard cocks.

 

[RomanianSchizo]

How du re doo fellow nipponese, brownu devul go home. Burn de mosqueru, roundhouse kicku shawarma gaijin, drown brownu baka in hot'u lard, send useseress hikikomori son to kamikaze isram, restartu unit 731...

 

[Tingle]

When a man is hard in front of me, I know he is a fag. There is no other explanation.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Rapist armed with a knife has in theory an unlimited amount of holes to choose from.,

What you are describing is the 'lesbian until graduation', and 'bi until graduation' phenomenon. We are currently going through the 'trans until graduation' phenomenon.

oh, phew....fattty's still alive.
no I'm not listening to another diabetes inducing podcast.
just knowing he hasn't wobbled off that mortal coil is enough.

Remember it's not enough to affirm they're identity and pronouns, YOU MUST ABSOLUTELY BELIEVE IT OR THEY DIE.

That's it; I'm going to start calling trannies "Tinkerbells" from now on.

You don't need to train AI to become racist, they're pattern recognition machines. So you have to train them to ignore the patterns.

In Jersey, everything is legal, as long as you don’t get caught.

in the end youre still ballsdeep in a guy's asshole, that's pretty gay

If I showed this video to an unassuming audience and casually mentioned that Jack is tarded they wouldn't question it. I could poll 100 people whether they think Jack is a mental midget and get 102 yeses.

He forgets every prediction as soon as it proves false and since he can't "recall" ever making a false prediction, he's never been wrong. Tard logic at its finest

Would you really want to risk coming in second in a micropenis competition?

Can you feel it? We're getting tantalizingly close to the tipping point where people will finally start feeling comfortable saying "lol shut up nigger" again when this stupid shit happens. It's getting closer, and every instance of obvious, blatant fucking hypocrisy like this just takes us further towards that delightful singularity.

 

[Zeftax]

I fucking love my autistic wife and she loves her retarded husband.

 

[Sneaky lurker]

The average male wants nothing more than to have his neck broken by a gal who hasn't washed herself in months. They want to clean smegma out of clit hoods like dogs licking peanut butter. Masculine men (bodybuilders) eat so much tuna because it's a socially acceptable way to sniff used underwear.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I don't know how or why they decided an ogre baby was trans.

“I wish I had IBS so I could bond about pooping uwu”

As a left-handed kiwi, I can confirm - I have never felt the love of another person, and should probably have been put in a camp.

"wow you have no testicles, sit at home for the rest of your life and mooch off welfare!"

when a potentially homicidal giga hon is on the loose, you don't want them to be stealthy enough to get a 4X damage bonus. the overwhelming odor of amhole and pee gives his prey a chance to flee with their lives

If we have to live on the cusp of a propaganda-fuelled societal collapse, I wish we were living in the late Roman Republic instead. At least we'd get bread and circuses to keep us distracted from our impending doom as opposed to this dumb tranny shit.

This person can never be the subject of a sentence. Please respect this.