random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[McMitch]

It's a testament to his unique stupidity that he continues with the online tough guy routine that literally no one on the planet is buying.

 

[Local Fed]

Part of my 2026 strategy is making myself more desirable to be raped by Null.

I've had people calling me a pedophile to try and piss me off for the majority my life. It started when I was 15 and I'm now 33.

Well Pixar made women with big asses legal.

I made you the fake wizard you are today and I can unmake you

We did have a minor scandal in my country ages back where old and sick horses ended up in frozen lasagna and the like

Smurfs are real and they have a melt value. The things you learn on Kiwi Farms.

I wish whoever runs the Whitehouse twitter account would Pokémon Go back to India.

 

[WelperHelper99]

FFS, I've had bad enough gas that I wished I was dead in the moment, but then I took a shit and decided to live.

 

[Zeftax]

To put it in kf terms, a kink is a brown person, something unusual and if you mentioned it in the bedroom you'd get a strange look, a fetish is an indian, something that no one would ever want to do

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

"urmm everyone involved is le bad guy" thanks for contributing nothing you contrarian faggot

Stop pozloading my neghole, trannies!

 

[Speedrunner]

I was wondering why my messages were turned into threats of rape directed towards Will Stancil

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Well that's because redditors are fake and gay need to punched repeatedly with their own arms.

JUST STOP AND TAKE A BREAK FROM READING ABOUT STUFF THAT MAKES YOU MAD

A very wise black Nazi cuckold once made an astute observation - "Slavery is a choice".

Null HAS to platform BPD whores AND you CAN NOT make fun of him or the ENTIRE internet is DOOMED!!!!!!!

I've been increasingly seeing about the internet is that a career on the internet drives everyone insane at some point.

lol why the fuck did she steal my plane joke... i hate this bitch.

@Null , honest question, has reading this thread effected your ability to gain and maintain an erection?

 

[Drip Torch]

It's just so fucking blown out, it's like the fucking Sarlacc Pit of assholes

 

[The Nothingness]

Jefferson shows up. His main trait is “severely horny,” and his only emotional arc is getting laid.

Special shoutout to John Cullum as the delegate from South Carolina, who performs the showstopper about slavery, it’s basically the "Be Prepared" of the American mythos.

Jefferson’s wife is played by Gwyneth Paltrow’s mom, and while she is undeniably hot in the role, it’s impossible not to retroactively hate her.

 

[Super Malario]

Does anyone have tips on chastity cage brands for slightly below average sized penises?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

All the Storytime animators are boring because they all come from the same breed of Bluesky artist with zero real-life experiences and nothing interesting to say, and all their attempts at humor are terrible.
The point I'm getting at is that there needs to be more chud storytime animators.
I wanna see someone animate their experience with Jaquavious D'science chimping out at the local gas station, I wanna see "Soyjak Storytime" animate their rant about the JQ using their quirky internet OC as a stand-in for them, shit would be peak.

When we finally get right wing death squads I want the Reddit jannies to be the first target.

Step one is to hide those man titties. Step two is to trim your beard a bit you hagrid looking motherfucker.

'my politics begins and ends with porn'

No blacks in my bakkaball.

I figured we'd have a thread on this guy. Can't say I'm surprised to find out he's a faggot with a vore fetish.

My tier one space racist brain won’t let me agree.

I remember an interview were June was talking about being groped on a train once and that being an traumatic experience. But something fucked must have happened to her for allowing a bunch Japanese midgets to piss on her on video for the world to see.

Found this visual novel game called Feline Fantasies and it's one of the most popular games on itch. Apparently you play as some guy who's stuck on an island and you fuck cats.

One must understand not one, but two horrific references to get this one, and I do. I get it. So, thanks, I hate it.

Hi Reddit, poly informed therapist here. Sometimes your brain will lie to you and say things like "my last poly relationship was incredibly abusive, and I'm worried getting into another one will invariably ruin this great monogamous relationship I have," or "Sexual jealousy is rooted deeply in the human psyche, and is it worth it trying to override it just to awkwardly bang some 3/10 you met at a queer positive ren faire?"

The trick is to block out those fake thoughts on focus on the true things your brain says like "I'm tired of fucking the same person and I want to fuck this new person." If your spouse really loves you, they won't mind you coming home smelling like sex with another person. One really great way to get over your internalised polyphobia is to pay me to plow your wife in front of you. DM me to learn more.

Low-caste mindset. This is why Goonjeeta's izzat level is absolutely through the roof and yours izzn't.

At the rate Karl is going, eventually he's going to be a flat earther just so he can claim he's got beef with "the man" over it.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

all you can do is cope and seethe. like Bryan Dunn. It's been 10 years and that little fag is hiding in discords crying about me.

You can't really run for office on the platform of "everyone should be allowed to say nigger" as much as I wish you could.

What is FAGMAN?

He should do some gamba and maybe just a crumb of crackarooski to get those dopamine receptors firing again.

Have you had sex with elephant trunks? You look Chinese?

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

EXCUSE ME! FIRST OFF, IM WHITE! IRANIANS HAVE BEAUTIFUL WHITE SKIN! and second, I'm actually semi Jewish so even more white! And third, only the bottom is gay! The top king is not only a chad but even a warrior! I would very much love to bottom nick "the cumhunter" Fuentes and hasan piker! Remind them of their place in life as bottoms in servitude of big dicked strong warriors of fire!

 

[invisibult plus+]

WHY IS THIS A DISCUSSIN YOU SICK FREAKS ALL OF THIS SHOULD BE BANNED AND I HATE THE PERSONS AVATAR OF A MINION IT IS GROSS LOOKING TO ME AS WELL ALL OF THIS IS GROSS YOU NEED TO BE BANNED FOR DEGENERACY BEHAVIOR
MY REACTION TO THIS THREAD:

We should all take someone using the username femboy fart huffer very seriously

Why have you revealed to me you have a small penor

I have a fetish for beautiful women.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Hitler was a decorated trench runner in WW1, if he wanted to take your bussy you wouldn’t be able to stop him.

So did you find your BDSM goth queen yet or are you still thirsting over a children's cartoon?

my kink is not having other people's sex lives broadcasted at me

I'm into Kiwiplay. I can only cum if I fuck a woman who is dressed as Sonichu.

Have you tried anal voring them?

 

[Pee Cola]

do we really need a "femboy fart huffer teaches you how to be a professional gooner" thread on this site?

 

[Sooty Soot]

About half of the clerks would openly speculate on what a Lolcow company might be up to, and I got everything from "They's got a corn maze there" to "Damn fine steaks!" to a sweet old lady who called me a saint for donating to "that petting zoo that works with all them retarded kids".

 

[demicolon]

Found this visual novel game called Feline Fantasies and it's one of the most popular games on itch. Apparently you play as some guy who's stuck on an island and you fuck cats.

 

[Spectate]

I personally use the description of a gooner as a person who spends a large amount of time masturbating and a coomer is a person who spends a lot of time orgasming.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

I come to this website because I need to, not because I want to.