random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[monstrous bubo]

I want no part of my death to involve a random person on the internet saying "Shit went down at the pik and pop"

 

[Spud]

Women are a meme. Throw rocks at them.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Bro just go google some porn. Don’t jerk off to teen titans

I dunno I had actually seen softcore porn by 12 so

I’m sorry you Mormons were sheltered from boobies until 25 or whatever, most of us regular kids saw the 70s film of a baby crowning in 6th grade because we weren’t wimps.

If watching a baby crowning gets you hard, idk man, you should seek Jesus

At the age of 12 I had accidentally seen my best friends’ mom naked and developed normal attractions as god intended

I call a baby’s head crowning porn.

And for the love of god stop posting chipmunk panties you animals

seeing as how you have 3 girl chipmonks you can get alot of panty shots.

To be completely fair that Lola Bunny scene from Space Jam almost certainly gave a huge chunk of our generation a furry fetish. Even I remember feeling some odd things during it

The more I read this thread the more I believe it’s an overtly Christian act for dads to get a few playboys and leave a loot box in the garage

You could be saving your son from jerking off to anthropomorphic cartoon animals

foids claim that abortion being made illegal means that if they have a bad pregnancy they'll get strapped to a table so the doctors can watch their organs rupture. Go take some benzos and chill the fuck out

So basically a scene where a 16 year old girl's clothes get torn off but you're making some argument akin to her being a 6,000 year old dragon so it doesn't count. Got it

 

[0713]

@Party Hat Wurmple
Before I start earning some undeserved fame, my post was just a direct parody of this one, making fun of it:

To be completely fair that scene almost certainly gave a huge chunk of our generation a rape fetish. Even I remember feeling some odd things during it but by the grace of god managed to pull through, at least I was 13 and had been jacking off by that point so i had some context. For younger kids it must have taken them completely off guard. Troons seem to really like this show as well. I still loved it.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I'm not an economist, just a retard who likes to learn.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Null has a melted wax fetish but with cheese

I know someone whose therapist recommended they participate in age play fetish garbage to get over their childhood trauma. Therapy is a degenerate industry that should be abolished.

I love this thread. Even when I am having a shitty day with a gutter-ball mindset, I will always get a good chuckle out of seeing this shit. Reminds me that I might actually be a useful, functioning member of society after all.

She's the moral circle heatmap meme personified.

And in defense of you, my fine shitlord, I also say that regardless of your color, creed or crotch, none of us have as many days to dwell on the immutable statuses of our bodies as troons 'n' poons do

Oh, this is the only thing for which I will thank trannies, as they have volunteered themselves en masse for endocrinological experiments which never could have been ethically performed otherwise.

That is magnificent; thank you for making this a part of my life. I will treasure it always. I just wish I could stop laughing

Please enlighten me, I must've missed that bit of demented nostalgia.

Oh, I have no doubt she cares about free expression on the net...FOR HERSELF.

It's caring about the free expression of others that I find doubtful.

The more I read this thread the more I believe it’s an overtly Christian act for dads to get a few playboys and leave a loot box in the garage

You could be saving your son from jerking off to anthropomorphic cartoon animals

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

your kids are bigoted little bastards

AH, WHO AM I FUCKING KIDDING, HERE..? I'LL DRINK TO THIS!

lolcows deserve threads and doxing here

The judges won’t act until the thread is locked.

 

[The Great One]

Why're you giving this nigga tips on how to jack off

 

[The Noise]

chipmunk panty shots

 

[Dr. Butt]

I wonder if they'd let me in with a horse..

 

[JustSomeDong]

That explains why I'm sexually attracted to horseshoe crabs.

 

[30+GameOvers]

Might've been the one where he acted like he was jerking off but he was tugging on a gunt flap.

 

[Quartermaster]

That, my fellow kiwis, is why I love big, throbbing, juicy cocks.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

Featured on Mar 9, 2026 by Null: Chantal has shit herself.

 

[Joseph McCarthy]

Please can you not associate us regular vore fans with something as nasty as furries please and thank you.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

you would start sucking a guy's dick out of spite.

If girl-potion can turn you into a girl, peptides can bio-hack immortality, right?

[Mark Cuban taking notes .gif]

He's Japanese there's no way he didn't already have that thought at least once.

I’ll wear my sexiest lingerie and distract the guards!

deca poost

I don't know who this guy is, nice to meet you @Klaatu .

 

[Bill Evans 45]

I did not see the flail incident listed. I believe Nig Nog Neanderthal is correct.

 

[Zeftax]

I have no idea what this schizophrenic rambling is supposed to say.

This thread really had potential. It’s unfortunate what has happened here.

 

[NoReturn]

Bold of you to assume I need a drink to start ranting.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

"I'm back, John. ... John? ... John? Did you miss me? ... Did you think you could throw me away? ... I'm back John, and this time I'm reaching out and touching somebody."

He's willing to stand up against the stigma of having a micropenis, but not against the stigma of sitting down to piss.

Notice, if you will, the content of their character.

Hey. Nigger. When Kid Rock goes bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy-diggy
You will shut the fuck up,
And when Kid Rock goes said up drop the boogie
You will listen. But you won't learn. Because you are a nigger.

Everything is a glimpse of our gay and lame ass future

If you say nigger and nobody is offended, did you really say nigger?

A couple of months ago I took a wrong turn and had to drive past it and I saw a hobo shitting on top of another hobo on the street corner, right in front of some cops that were arresting a public masterbator. It's basically hell, and every bum living there needs to be gassed.