random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

buddy if we get $24,000/mo I'll buy an office in South Charleston and I'll hire someone so you can visit in person to buy Kiwi Branded Billy Mitchell hotsauce, Mangosteen juice, and silver coins as a tourist destination.

It’s always hilarious when people try reporting this site to its host. I miss when null would post the more entertaining responses.

Bitch please, I only call niggers niggers when they act like niggers. The reason why we call you white and laugh at you is because Brother Ali is blacker than you, and he's a white albino.

Grease appearing in the pan or falling through the grill is just the devil keeping Fatty from enjoying more grease in his food.

(breathes in)

…

NO REFUNDS!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

He is so cognitively terrified of losing even an iota of food that he refuses to accept it. This is a man who legitimately looked at a burger that he dropped on the sidewalk and fucking mourned it.

I've successfully bullied two people out of using Temu. I'd do more but I'm not very sociable.

 

[Myrtle the Turtle]

White Canadians look at the disease ridden filthy cesspool that is the Ganges River and they want it.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

"I am not your example, Mike. You're my example!"

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Just look in the random.txt thread for examples of how juvenile and insane the userbase can be. You can't have 12 people like that in a room without someone running to their glove compartment and Elliot Rodgering the whole place. Physical separation is the only reason we experience this autistic rage as mere seethe gas.

I just want it known I think @KingKoda is a pedophile NIGGER and that he should GET A JOB and then promptly KILL HIMSELF for being a degenerate FAGGOT who sends 15 to 16 year old girls, as a 26 year old man, videos of himself jerking off onto paper towels covering his own body or photos of his tiny "balloon shaped" penis.

Ma'am, the crisis is still smeared on your frog-ass.

I'm sure there are some men out there who can crochet, but one of the most famous posts in the GRS thread is a pooner who crocheted a sling for her phalloplasty.

Given the quality of what most people read, even retarded niggers read.

Everyone will fear the middle aged, balding, fat guy in his reproduction Picklehaube.

Yeah sure the ad with 20 closeups of her feet totally wasnt made with a very specific audience in mind

Eating is the patriarchy manifest just ask skelly kween

The cumboy to his left is a cum man.

As moderate nazi I'm disgusted how much hate and ignorance surrounds my beliefs.

Designer: snorts cocaine god I love sexy witches so fucking much just imagine a sexy witch with the biggest hat and the loosest dress with the tightest skirt and we draw all the attention the slightest hint of absolute territory with thigh high pitch black boots but we make her a hot mess so the hat is tilted and the dress is slight off kilter and the boots look like those gyaru socks and then her hair hangs down and she has curtain bangs and-

Indians are basically Jews but without the religious obligation for hygiene.

Well, it's official.
My name is in the Epstein files.

The insanity of my position has only now become apparent to me.

Missed out on the lamest fuckin superhero origin ever.

You can be whatever you like in today's world, but you're still running defense for literal dog raping street shitters. Doesn't get much lower than that.

Reddit user on r/zootooia says pawbert deserves to be raped to death with knives no lube for his crimes.

There are only so many variations of 'trannies are autistic, narcissistic fetishists' you can say before it gets old. The maladapted psychology of the jeet still has new avenues to explore.

Yeesh. My man lost the ethnicity lottery twice.

You should embrace the Christian tradition of killing an entire country of Whites because they believe in a slightly different version of your Jewish fairy tales and then laugh when Muslims come to take over the former White empire. Some things never change. Europeans deserve to be raped and beheaded by sandniggers because they don't believe in magical Jews.

You know the point of Moon Man is to make a rap song that happens to be racially offensive, not just play obnoxious shit and have Microsoft Sam say random shit that doesn't rhyme, right?

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

From the OP:

"The question I face is the one I’ve been asking myself for the past decade: Is it worse to be clinically depressed or to have a broken dick?"

Disaster Thread 'I Can't Feel My Penis. I'm on Anti-Depressants. This Is My Life.'

Mar 12, 2026

Florence Sullivan

Uncomfortably Numb: My Life with a Desensitized Penis​

A decade of antidepressant use has caused me to suffer from an unnerving ailment: feeling pretty much nothing in my penis. Here’s how I live with it.
By Kyle MacNeill and Photograph By Florence Sullivan

Late last year, I nearly passed out in my girlfriend’s bed. I had forgotten to breathe for what felt like a couple of minutes until, finally, I gasped, gulping hot air. My balls ached. My temples throbbed. I had been tantalizingly close to an orgasm. “I don’t think...

• The Jumping Dwarf
• Replies: 69
• Forum: Articles & News

Reactions: x 19 x 2 x 1 x 1 x 3 x 2

https://archive.ph/wip/9SGbM

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Says she has NOT eaten the Ralpha-butt.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

"please dont harm me, i have rights. Am i going to become a basketball??.......goodbye".

 

[Zeftax]

Do you grimace when tasting carbonated soda perchance?

Oh gee the site full of obsessed chronic whiners and complainers with weirdo fringe opinions is a bit sad who could’ve seen that coming

The inexorable march of time makes me sad and it'll probably make me bald too

Why do people in this thread keep talking to me about poop

 

[Bland Crumbs]

I am still immeasurably unhappy but fuck it, that's life. At least my dick works.

 

[Potato Burrito]

fry ig pan

I recall the vagina museum doing this and then going "PLEASE HELP WE ARE OUT OF MONEY" the next year.

 

[Chromeo]

Perfectly good boobs even

If you laugh, you get euthanized like a wolf with AIDS.

I absolutely despite the phrase "tourist". It's used by everyone just to diminish someone else maybe for a good reason maybe for bad reason but every time I hear it I physically cringe. Tourist this tourist that nigga tour a fuckin job. If they're trying to get money off the game they're a grifter. If they fake being a fan just for fame or game credit then the term is applicable. But even in the applicable way I still physically cringe cause the worst people you know used that term, now the modern internet use it all the time

Bit of environmental storytelling here where a lot of the men's cards are a whole bunch of .2 or .1 multipliers that puts their odds well into the fractional percentages, you know, blond hair, blue eyes, that sort of stuff. Like yeah I'd love to date Konota with D cups but I'll settle for you

and a lot of the women's are a bunch of .99s that read like a minimum wage online interview like "Take a shower" and "Not a cannibal" and "deodorant with aluminum" with the occasional .0001 chucked on, "Bakes and rides motorcycles". And now I'm having to sit here and wonder like, what don't I know about the intersection of baking and motorcycles?

The word "kink" is for performatively sexual fat women.
I do not have "kinks". I am insane.

It's india. Everything is a poop hole.

I brought some proctologist gloves and I’m not putting my purse down.

their half-breed significant other is in the other room, smoking while pregnant so that the baby comes in to this world preordained with knowledge of the sweet, sweet taste of Marlboro Reds

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Hollywood Hulk "the Squirm-Meister; Meister Squirmer" Hogan shoved 14 rare deep water Hasidic gerbils into his sphincter in the bitter cold winter of 2024 to protest the blatant and unforgivable transphobia and racism of the second blumpf administration to come in January.

 

[Autistic Joe]

When I re-read the line about Jesus masturbating to child porn, I just can't.

If your life coach is unwashed, with missing teeth, drunk, covered in cat hair and crusty cum stains, while preaching from a blow-up mattress in the home that another man pays for, run.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

When is the rape?

yooooooooo we raping? who we raping and when?

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

So I'm a retard, but at least an educated one with high income potential.

No amount of money will ever repair the damage anime did to your brain.

He admires himself there, his body bedecked in unwashed leather; pants, boots and jacket he had found at a Goodwill. The jacket he left open, his flat, undeveloped pigeon chest bared to the world as though a source of great esteem, pressed into the never-cleaned leathers. One can imagine the smell.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Mr. Sausage is out here turning into the Colonel Kurtz of Internet cuisine and I’d rather be at his compound where even though the meat’s got plastic in it there’s more variety than eggs and milk and shovels.

"frail but horny"

I don't know doctor words, only crime words.

Back in the day you'd fuck in the car or rent a hotel for an hour, but I guess that's trans genocide now.

I took a bunch of ketamine at various points and all it ever did was make me very, very confused.

You don't call me out on my opinions on lesbianism, I don't call you out on running a motel that killed 7 people.

I can totally donate 5 live coyotes but you need to take delivery between 2am and 6:30am this coming Tuesday only. I can deliver to most places in the panhandle and coastal Alabama.

But I don't WANNA impregnate teenagers. Can't we just kill more minorities?

“under no circumstances are employees to put their dicks in the food”

 

[invisibult plus+]

I like fat homely Japanese girls out of spite to archetypal weeaboo gooners (who in retrospect probably don’t exist beyond the delusions of schizo western roasties, come to think of it)

Islam is incompatible with Western ideals.

Go play wii sports, fucking ay-rabs.

Rendered him no longer alive

 

[Shartavius]

Ahhh. Being trans and disabled with an emotional support animal is not the easiest position to find oneself in when you're looking for housing in Missouri.

Post in thread 'Dave Brian Muscato / Danielle Tatiana Muscato / Danielle Brian Muscato'

Mar 12, 2026

I have a feeling that Dave's name was ever on the lease or his roommates tossed him out.

• Plum Smuggler

Reactions: x 12 x 6 x 5 x 2 x 1

 

[Pedophobe]

As long as you guys believe that I can run this carnival I will be your ringmaster.

 

[Focken Kiwi]

Sorry Caleb, your kidney is going to have to wait a month or two, we're saving the last place on the Internet that you can say nigger