random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Drip Torch]

This thread is moving so fast noone will see this.

I would suck on her tits.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

LikeAStone is a retarded enigma of the internet with the sole purpose of hate and ultraviolence.

I FUCKING LOVE STARWARS

As a fervent White supremacist and Nazi, it is very hard for me to choose between Donald Trump and Patrick S. Tomlinson. Luckily, I don't have to!

 

[vomitusdeux]

He looks like a transgender Peter Griffin

damn someone should try psyopping them to eat seasoned plastic

What's the meth scene like over there?

Step 1: watching hohols eat onions by the bags
Step 2: ????
Step 3: monke torture
The infamous kiwifarms slippery slope

Everyone can totally trust me with their personal information

"what are you gonna do, DMCA me?" - last words of a man DMCA'd to death by a tranny

I think, in a small way, I understand the negro

Cheese encrusted nails - of any length - are so retarded only a nigger would.

Gook looking like Jim Jong Un's body double but failed due to his eyes being too closed all the time.

>have your ass used as dart target practice
>fast forward one day
>do nothing but eat onions
>time for some whipping
>shit yourself
>time for some more whipping
>Everybody Wants to Rule the World starts playing
Absolute cinema

He looks like a negro but with white skin.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Austin will cum live with me.
Ill fill him full of juice every night
HONK HONK

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

This thread is moving so fast noone will see this.

Guess what... someone did in fact see this

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

Slavs will never be white. At best they will adopt parts of white culture they find palatable, which is why how the Czechs wound up drinking beer by the gallon instead of vodka by the bottle.

 

[Asian tech support]

can't believe this saltening fag actually got oneshotted by being called a retard cartoon gooner and ragequit the site

 

[Harvey Danger]

200 years from now, Kiwi Farms is just a gacha site for cute kiwis; there's a forum somewhere but few find it amongst the 10,000 birds.

On that forum a few regulars argue over ECF 12,230 of Greer v Moon; nobody knows who either of those are.

 

[NoReturn]

Anisa would voluntarily put the yeerk in her ear.

 

[obsdj]

Pyramid? His hierarchy of needs is a goddamn tesseract.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Jersh has created the perfect centrist website, where every single group online thinks their enemy controls the farms

 

[Gentlebastard]

Those raisin folks don't fuck around. I bet that lady on the box of raisins wearing that red bonnet has Top Secret clearance.

I hate to break it to her but I wouldn't rape her with Carl Benjamin's dick.

Did he really suffer such an awful narcissistic injury that he is in the fetal position in his car slowly rocking back and forth?

Yeah I think you are attributing way too much normal human psychology to our drippy little narcissist. He's not sitting somewhere contemplating all the ways he's fucked up his life. He's sitting somewhere seething about all the many ways he has been wronged.

Pat sits, alone.
He is sweating out the alcohol from yesterday and the day before, redfaced, with deep lines worn into his face, indicating the years he spent on social media re-formatting the same sentence in a descending spiral loop of bitterness and petulant anger.

That cat does not want to be there and I don't blame it.

I ate too many sugar free peppermints in a few hours near bedtime.

The regret was real. Pride do goeth before a fall.

We need a form of keelhauling for airplanes.

His hierarchy of needs pyramid is all sorts of fucked up.

Pyramid? His hierarchy of needs is a goddamn tesseract.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

I need the time and dates. Will fly to the UK, show up midway with a massive erection and be like “Oi loves, I’m an American. Who wants to ride my todger, what what?” (That’s how they speak) and breed with all of them to create a race of brittish offspring who for the first time are not ugly and have a IQ over 50.

 

[Sooty Soot]

not wearing the hijab is worse than

Source:

 

[Aunt Carol]

I still lament that ill never see her smile again or crack a hitler joke.

Imagine the post apocalypse but nobody has the spoons to do anything.

"I need to slap and fuck your white pussy to stop a black general from taking over. Only my huge Hispanic cock can prevent the race war."

It is currently not known if Vi has a girlcock.

This freaking moron doesn't live at a care facility at all.

His fingers are just uwu toothpicks. White people don't season dey tiny-ass fingas.

 

[The Cheese Aisle]

OK, yeah, sure, whatever, but will I still be able to sing sad songs about sucking my own dick and dyyyyying?

 

[Hamstirer]

Byrne responded by emailing them an image of a giant hamster dressed as Godzilla, holding a peanut.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

I hope none of you guys cuck me during the inevitable kiwi farms meetup in federal prison.

This man sounds like he sells his EBT cards to buy decorations for his cuck chair

he has confirmed he does not infact have a skeleton which adds further credulity to the theory his body is literally 100% fat in composition

 

[R9K Insurgent]

Do we need to archive Alex's Penis?

Give us Fishtank tards some representation, Null.

 

[souschef]

whoopie pies have nothing to do with porn dumbass