random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Exister]

This site is a bug zapper for retards

 

[Coberald]

I'm a redditor from 2015, ugly, and I produce bad thumbnails, and my channel has 8k subs, and you think that's bad because muh reasons.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Why couldn't he jerk off on his own bed?

I'm beginnin' to feel like a Cuck God, Cuck God!

I mean they don't even take showers and snort seasonings and put onions up their asses. I don't think they're actually all that health-conscious behind the scenes

 

[Chromeo]

Looking at the positives - nobody raped the fish yet

 

[AskMeAnything]

"I'm straight for God sakes! Why does everyone keep saying I'm gay just because my girlfriend has a dick?"

 

[catpetter]

You are my enemy and I will get you raped up the ass with a gun.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Are we friends on KF?… could be!

 

[The Feline Solution 2]

I had a crush on her, sure. She can interview my penis.

 

[Waffle Iron]

I like to watch my wife listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd while I hide in the closet and air guitar.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Null got a bad case of clussy fever.

Thank you sir, mom says im very normal and not autistic!

First of all, MGTOW is not something I will get into, as I'm not allowed to. You are, but I'm not.

nice poorly cropped Socrates pfp faggot lmao

 

[NoReturn]

Bread service consisted of misshapen "light and airy" dinner rolls , half of which look like the baker had accidentally dropped her Diva Cup into the mixer.

 

[Gentlebastard]

How many chins is that? How the hell is the neck working in the first photo?

I bet they actually do have Discord servers for their polycules with group gooning sessions.

I'd really prefer not to have to take a trip through his subconscious mind.

Women hate him.

Toilets fear him.

Stalkers turn their eyes upon him as he passes.

No black boy dares make a sound in his presence.

He is alone upon this barren earth, child.

Gone are the days where an enterprising and clever fraudster could commit mortgage fraud on massive scale and possibly get away with it for a while.

He cannot ever quit when he is ahead. Hell, he does not quit even when he's behind.

I like to watch my wife listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd while I hide in the closet and air guitar.

Is this a gay or lesbian couple? I honestly cannot tell at this point.

As I tell my kids, Life is just a series of unpleasant incidents. Get used to it.

Never regretted a thing. This is how you died. Of old age. Peacefully and painlessly in your own bed. Surrounded by loved ones. Enjoy heaven stalker.

That makes it sound like you're a sports commentator doing play-by-plays of people jerking off. Is there an audience for that? I don't know but you could try publishing it on Amazon.

Have you SEEN what happens to people that play Sonic?

This is like comparing drinking pepsi to injecting heroin straight into your toe veins.

just like the heroin addict who will overdose before he feels high, the porn fiend is watching a video called "Thai ladyboy donkey show niggers in a fursuit gangbang bukakke" and he realizes he can't stay hard

He is in a prison of his own making, and he enjoys it.

 

[corvuscorax]

Weird way to tell the farms you wanna fuck that tranny.

 

[Harvey Danger]

Nigga, I was busy celebrating the Holy Day of Easter. I literally do not care if you were arguing about fashion while I was gone.

 

[Law]

The sword for me is a lifelong pursuit for balance, meditation, and seeking mastery. You make light of, and scoff at these serious things, and see what you want to see based on ignorant interpretations based on arrogance that is not earned.

 

[Metamorpho]

Nigga I have already had enough trouble collating the vtuber menstruation spreadsheet without factoring ritual impurity into the equation

 

[Post Reply]

@Chudborean I had a dream we were together in the amazon rainforest, it was in the future and we were married and you were some sort of biologist, we had some camp and you were indexing species of plants and fish and animals, and we were both a bit tired from the long days' work, we were in the tent and it was raining outside, so many jungle noises like birds and thunder, but we both felt very comfortable next to eachother and warm, and happy. Oh it was such a lovely dream... I miss you. You live only a few hundred km from the rainforests of the Amazon, maybe when were older, me and you will go there together. I love you again

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

You are meant to feel the autism.

That you think someone is making a "whoosh" sound, shows how stupid, and uneducated you are.

Contemplate a $750 fart.

ooohhhh farting doragon i bin found guirty

 

[Harvey Danger]

Is being a dyke worse than being a beard? That's a 21st century question that many women are having to answer! I think you just discovered 4th wave feminism.

From the "Life is Strange: Reunion" playthrough on Kick, at 17:46

 

[San Marino]

then faked his own suicide by eating 6 tablespoons of salt after getting accused of pedophilia