random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

Yes, child, it is. Yes, child, it would. Yes, stalker, he must. No, child, I wouldn't.

Who’s she trying to attract, Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks?

When you’re heckin misgendered by the clap

Is "El Oh El Cow" the Official KiwiFarms(TM)-approved pronunciation of lolcow? I always thought it was "loll-cow".

no I say it that way to trigger people when im feeling spry

I also totally misread "angel on earth" as "angel of death." A harbinger of things to come? I hope so.

Other men whine that in the "post me too era" they can't even look at a female coworker without getting utterly buckbroken by a sexual harassment lawsuit, meanwhile this Chad is wearing fetish gear to work.

a quasar of a lolcow, sucking in attention from all across the Internet and emitting big fat lols from his bitch tits

EDIT: TRANSGENDER CRAB ALIEN STALKER!

"Oh em gee gurl, heroin made you soooo skinnay!"

I think it’s time. We’ve sheltered the innocent live-and-let-live types long enough. The normies need to be peaked.

She’s definitely a true believer.

She’s also a lunatic.

I thought you were just being an asshole but after googling it I found out it's true!

 

[Poonocchio]

"hey that's not a woman! It's a fat man with a face like the lunar surface in my bathroom!"

 

[often puzzled]

So she knew so little about her pet that she ended up orally molesting a rodent.

 

[Mound Dweller]

you're going to have a very eyeopening experience and unlock racist areas of your brain that you never even knew about.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

What in the God damn is this thread?

If you think that this is the worst time humanity has faced, you haven't seen actual hell yet.

Postal brain damaged no longer up for grabs.

i put this homosexual on mute to avoid him in my feed.

"Dark Winds" is mid and he needs to finish his own shit before fucking up someone else's.

You need to talk to some Brazilians, they own Tim Hortons now.

you sound exactly like a rich jew talking about goyim

actually, Pakistan is officially the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. i googled to see if any other states were as well; apparently just Mauritania and (formerly) Afghanistan

(I am utterly illiterate when it comes to law.)

 

[Gog & Magog]

Stop right there, infidel scum! Nobody breaks sharia law on my watch!

 

[PetiteFeet]

We got excited over a lightbulb.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

You are culturally appropriating gay porn. It's okay. Nobody is harmed by a woman watching gay male sex. Just watch it, flick your minge, then cry afterwards because you don't have a dick.

 

[31 Black]

God bless her. Its like watching a retard learn how to walk.

 

[ChefOptimusCunt]

Satan waits for one of his most prized souls to choke on a chicken nugget.

Pure gold

 

[Aunt Carol]

The vagina is a network of muscle. It doesn't feel emotion.

the world is gay. we are not

I think it's more likely people assumed it was a general sex thing and didn't understand that it was a horse only thing.

"hey did any of your relatives ever die suddenly from their aorta exploding"

I want to be an astronaut and it's discrimination if NASA don't let me. We can strap the wheelchair to the roof.

 

[Abella]

You better close those damn doors or you will learn that why they call me the Infamous Kiwi Plantaions Assasin/Rapist

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

Why must everything I love turn to vantablack niggercoal?

What else does your therapist say because she/he is not doing a good job.

Which headmate calls people niggers?

I am in every single one of those calling her either fat or a dumb bitch so they have no excuse.

 

[Solomon Bundy]

This man is fucking. What’s your excuse, anon?

Man I saw Adam Seller’s Reddit account, dude was hitting up every female under 55 that posted.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

i didnt think i was going to be so into gay sex until i found this nazi website

I want to turn our dick into a vagina

 

[Gentlebastard]

People like this have no soul and you cannot convince me of the contrary. They are the people that would look at the true night sky in horror rather than wonder.

There were Roman gods that had slaves just to pluck grapes from the vine to feed to them that would call this shit retarded and over the top.

He didn't even know what Fairy Bread was so he's not actually Aussie. Just some weird stateless being with no solid ties to anywhere in particular.

If Hitler and Queen taught us anything it's that you shouldn't stop when you're having a good time.

Wrong, baby child. Just because you don't possess the necromantic ability to hear voices from the underworld doesn't mean others don't either. This is how you decided to lose your soul to eternal slavery in the Lich Lord's domain, stalker.

the shelf-life of your goofy podcast is looking short.
Nobody shits in Danny's diaper but us.

They always ask this question and the answer is damn near universally "YES, RETARD".

bro turn off the porn I beg you

 

[FrogMinutes]

farting Rarity would fit better for his current channel transition. keeping the avatar suggests he is reluctant to let go of his past, possibly suffering from an identity crisis

 

[General Emílio Médici]

plenty of piss drinkers out there who think its good for them to drink, but with your logic they must all be near death since they are consuming pure piss

Woah mamma! I'd let this Mexican giraffe woman call me a faggot any time.

The bee porn tranny is dead.

Inshallah, I declare fatwa on all white bussy.

This is Obama's astrology chart.

Screenshot this. You will know astrology is legit later this year if my predictions come to pass.

I am open-minded but agnostic on the subject of astrology. Have bookmarked your post just in case.

I can tell by the way you typed that that you are fat and retarded

Eyelashes and butterfly wings flutter. Your vagina does not flutter. You colon certainly does not flutter.

on circles about 4" / 10cm big (the size of a bulb of garlic)

To be fair, twinks/sissies who top exist, theyre usually insane and sometimes evil tho as far as ive heard

This is one of those silly things that really makes me love America.
You guys are like a wild animal. Very cute from afar and quite dangerous if approached directly.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

This guy hates us exclusively because we started niggermarking BossmanJack clips and bankrupted his YouTube slop channel in the process. I think he's starving now in his Section 8 apartment after getting cut off by Keno Chat.

Debating Josh Kiwifarmer was so tiring he had to take a goon break.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

How do i sent a strongly worded letter to Mr. Coon for not streaming tooday? My Spongebob stickers are ready.