random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Procopius]

The goal there is to try and get to the largest size within the first three months then move up to another set for more advanced dilation.

Keep up with washing your bits and douching daily. It helps a lot with scent for my wife's comfort at least.

 

[CallmeCicada]

He got raped by black men before he even got arrested

 

[Caliph of Abu Baka]

It's illegal to worship demons without permission

This is why the Internet shouldn't be exist in the first place

federal crimes against pop culture.

demons and monsters killing people to death

silencing him to death

Western Rome has fallen again just like 476 AD

Please do NOT contact Satanism

total collapse without sunshine and rainbows

 

[Dragged Into Sunlight]

Imagine being a #girlboss marketer or ShitLib bugman in corporate, with all the data in the world telling you what the problem is, but you have to talk around the problem, invent euphemisms, and try to solve it without offending the DEI hires or each other.

"Given the increase in Shrinkage and DCEs (Disruptive Crowd Events), especially concentrated in our DOZ (Disadvantaged Opportunity Zone) stores, we feel that removing unnecessary Touch Points and minimizing Portable Assets will help improve CTEs (Customer Transaction Experiences)."

(Everyone translates in their heads: The golems won't quit stealing shit and trashing stores in ghetto areas, so wall them off from employees and get rid of everything that's not bolted down.)

 

[Muppetstudios]

Delaney isn’t even the pretty sister man the standards for the sex trafficking industry have really fallen. SMH.

 

[Drip Torch]

This country needs common-sense twink control.

 

[scathefire]

Stevie Wonder would clock this nigga, blindfolded, in Svalbard in December, at night, in a particularly dark room.

 

[Nameless One]

Am I a pretty boy? Will I ever find love? Will I ever strike fear in the hearts of my enemies? Will my masculine demeanor lift me to greater heights? Will I be remembered fondly? Will my bloodline ever be strong?

 

[Super Malario]

Gracias, Josué Luna.

 

[Helping Friendly Book]

I don't think Josh seems to understand what kind of people he's buying a fight with

 

[Aunt Carol]

Their cat (who uses fae/faer pronouns), is fully harness trained, even though fae wasn't taken on walks until fae was around 1.5 years old.

THE GASH quits the website and doesn't come back, as far as I know.
She even stops fulfilling orders on her Etsy.

He's such a piece of shit, when it would be easier to just not be a piece of shit.

Fuller, rounder features = more feminine. You done fucked up, Kevin!

She posts much more about pot than POTS, y’know?

If you are wondering whether they have been getting gender affirming surgeries while living in the piss van, the answer is yes.

If only Santa was a guy with a penis or something.

It’s like if a pitbull put the flower crown on itself instead, then wrote “I’m just a smol lonely bean who’s been surrendered 5 times by bad owners. I wouldn’t hurt a fly. Please don’t make any sudden movements though, I have C-PTSD” on the adoption website.

If you haven't taken a scalpel to your genitals, you still have a chance.

Do well, my friends.

How the hell is she eating so much granola with that necro mouth?

 

[Gentlebastard]

You will soon meet a dark and mysterious stranger. He will offer you a curiously spiced meat puck. Do not resist or antagonize him. Keep walking and pray he will spare you.

I got an orgy invitation to my work email once. More than once now that I think about it.

I hope I die before you do, so I can watch as God judges you for your sins.

Just for that comment, I will outlive you just to spite you.

It's an impressive level of fucked up already and this is supposed to be the easy part

I still find it funny that all it took was one obtainable pussy, and the Tranch collapsed.

The bane of several terminally unfuckable groups of nerds: BPD pussy.

Can I point out we live in a world where we don't know the orifice of entry of a foreign object that caused a rupture that deposited shit in an inverted penis and scrotum.

On the one hand he deserves it for not practicing better OpSec, while on the other seeing the sick joy in her yellow eyes and fucked teeth sickens me.

We, as a society, really need to stop caring if people kill themselves.

From the May 3rd MATI episode ("Leave the 5,000-Year-Old Demon in a Child’s Body Alone"):

He basically tells me he loves me and thinks of me in a homosexual way and compares me to ham and cheese, which is one of the most erotic things I've ever heard.

 

[gagabobo1997]

Last winter I had sex while both of us were wearing whatever you want to call them, full body fleece footed pyjamas

 

[Basement Dwelling Dork]

I clicked on this thread expecting to laugh at poorly drawn furry drawings.

I want to fucking cry.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

BLOODBORNE ON SWITCH BEFORE PC
I'M GONNA FUCK A DUDE

tomorrow's the day we figure out whether or not this guy will age regress back to 14 and start posting pictures of lanky kong talking about how epic gamer girl pee and fortnite is

Mario does what he does for pure reasons: to keep the koopa race down where they belong.

If I ripped the head off will I see a furry underneath?

Keep up with washing your bits and douching daily. It helps alot with scent for my wife's comfort at least

Well guys at least the Switch 2 is now going to be homebrewed so that furries can rip the Starfox models into VRchat and jerk of in front of a mirror in a public lobby.

Think about it. Ash saw the amhole up close. He knows what he's getting into, so he must've found the scent of it very erotic.

Also, stop rating me islamic assholes. I am not a muslim.

Tranny are so fucking stupid. They're always like WOW I CUT MY DICK OFF AND I FEEL AMAZING??? no shit, retard, you're on pain killers!

Ozempyc fat cow is a look i guess

Obviously the only therapist I need is Goku telling me to believe in the heart of the One Piece

Believe it

The new Fire Emblem game will be about sand niggers blasting HRT into their nutsacks while a cis white evil man tries to summon an evil spirit that removes all HRT jewels. Also, instead of children, you will now adopt black babies.

Is that Jasmine Jade?

That tranny has been on my mind. No cap, I been thinking about that time when Karl Kasarda barebacked him raw in the backrooms of KE Arms. That shit had to be the tightest, Persianist, wettest stinkditch he'd ever laid pipe into. I swear to God, the most heavenly high he ever had is gargling that Troon's rotpocket slime while going fist deep into his shitter. He had Jasmine Jade screaming in the office with head too ridiculous to ignore. That tranny frotted his cock until he busted into his mouth, he had to return the favor. That tranny and him been fucking non-stop ever since, but keep that shit on the DL. He does that shit for free. If you're gonna ask me how to "long" Jasmine Jade, I'll be deadass. All you gotta do is ask, be straight up, and get physical real quick. Touch his axe wound, get on ya knees, talk your shit. He doesn't play around with no pansy-ass chasers either. He likes his men old, fat and polyamorous, and his dick thick. Pasty white skin, 6'0 is the minimum and I ain't talking about height boy.

That tranny Jasmine Jade stole his heart and drank his seed

 

[WarJams]

I fucking love this big meanie website that makes fun of retards and degenerates.

 

[Two Dollars]

I think I'm gonna try Assault

 

[Dread First]

the govt shit my pants to distract from epstein

 

[Cnidarian]

On the contrary, autists understand that something can be a fixation without being sexual, it's usually normies who need to frame everything through something they're familiar like "they HAVE to be jacking off to this, I CANNOT see any other explanation"

 

[Tablet County]

I wouldn't eat a dead nigger sandwich