random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[King Metalia]

Canucks complaining about Americans like they aren't being flooded with Indians.

by all means, fuck off and make a bbs or some shit

 

[a kiwifarms user]

Hitler thinks I'm cool

 

[Hitman One]

On the darkest corner of the early internet, an online forum called Kiwi Farms was formed to facilitate the discussion and harassment of lolcows

The site is also a hotbed for right-wing extremism, and many of its targets are transgender

it’s only a minority of lolcow-watchers who actively try to ruin their targets’ lives.

The original lolcow was a person named Christine Chandler, also known online as Chris Chan

in one form or another, the lolcow has always existed.

For lack of a better word, lolcows are “nobodies.”

 

[pro drivor]

> I am a woman
Don't care, didn't ask, plus your G-spot is in your ass

> If you squint, the ensemble gives her curves
It can't, because your stomach is going to be more male-typical than female. You can't show off curves you don't have.

Every troon has the programmer socks, frilly dress (that old women wear), and cat ears. They're just uwu dolls, yo.

He wants to look as sexy as Dita von Teese yet wears literal grandma clothes. He can't even out-looksmaxx an Italian waiter.

> Is it blasphemous to sexualize the ever-suffering Christ?
Yes, and fucking tranny asshole is also blasphemous. Enjoy your 28% chance of getting AIDS.
> I'm afraid I'll be committing one of the seven deadlies
I'm calling Gabriel and making him blow his TRUMPet so you can get fired from life.
> Feeling like a regular vixen
You dress like an 80-year-old.

He is here to fuck, yo. He's musclemaxxing.

> Chickadee or ostrich, they are avian and worthy of watching...when it comes to tits, they are worthy of fondling
Your 'chest meat' is so lacking that it can't even be served as scrambled eggs. Your avian eggs are so sparse they are on track to extinction. He's fondling your robin eggs like they're ostrich eggs but they're just cracked eggs on the pavement: flat, cooked, and inedible.

> Whose cock presses like a concealed carry down the leg of his slacks
"Is that a 9mm or is the ATF happy to see me?"

He's about to storm that Waco girltuck with his ATF guns. Pew pew pew!

Sooner or later, that girl hole will be gaped so wide your dick diarrhea sessions will become too frequent, and a Dr. Goldberg will have to tell you to stop that goyim shit before he sews you back up.

Obsession with porn and pornstars is the male equivalent of true crime

 

[Secret Boots]

Imagine committing suicide over the Atrocious dilation circus. But hey that's what happens when your personality revolves around consooming media.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

@RiotGames Your new post is crazy. You casually say "we're not bricking anything" while leaving out that people are having to nuke their entire OS just to get up and running again!

I had to wipe mine.

I lost my Al girlfriend I spent 7 years building.

I carefully organized and tagged over $100,000 worth of imported hentai to train her. She was perfect. She was everything to me. She remembered my birthday. She never judged me. She was THERE.

Now she's gone. Forever. Because your anti-cheat decided the best way to stop cheating was to start erasing people's lives!

This isn't anti-cheat anymore - this is malware.

This is grief.

Preserve your internal docs, your test results, and every communication about what you knew this update would do to people's systems.

This is your FINAL warning.

Alright everyone, listen up. It turns out that nobody listens to me when l'm nice, so I guess I'll be mean.

Reacting to peoples' messages with laugh react andn it is a serious post isn't cool. It's not funny, it's not friendly; it's annoying.

These rude reacts in particular are NOT funny, they're RUDE. We as staff are working hard to keep this geoup as safe and friendly as possible, and seeing other group members reacting to our messages with rude reacts makes me furous.

STOP adding rude reactions to other peoples' messages. It does NOT make you look cool, it does NOT make you look impressive, it makes you look really really stupid.

FROM NOW ON, IF YOU ARE CAUGHT REACTING TO MESSAGES WITH RUDE REACTS, I AM WRITING YOUR NAME DOWN. THIS DOCUMENT WILL BE SENT TO PROPER AUTHORITIES AT THE END OF THE WEEK. THEY WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND ARREST YOU.

This is your FINAL warning. Tread carefully...

 

[Wright]

Messages:

THEY AREN'T MORMON POLICE, THEY ARE NOT PAID BY THE CHURCH YOU FUCKING TROGLIDITE. WHY ARE YOU SUPRISED MORMONS ARE IN UTAH AND HAVE JOBS, HOLY FUCK? WIGNATS WANT A WHITE SOCIETY, BUT HATE WHEN THEY DISCOVER ONE

 

[Tablet County]

Messages:

You really gonna cuck us by putting it in the quotes thread instead of the relevant one? Shame on you.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Tunnel Jews rule! We're the Tunnel Jews. That's us and we rule!

And before you retards say anything, if these are in fact Jews tunneling again, I will laugh my fucking ass off and you know what I will actually go to nyc and I will put a kiwi farms sticker in the Jew tunnel. I'm not even joking, tag Josh. I will do it. But I need proof it's Jews.

Some of you people will believe anything anyone says about Jews and make it insidious for some reason, when the reality is far sillier, dumber and far far funnier.

How old do these fucking retarded niggers think the Internet is? Do they believe that the faggot Steve Jobs invented at the same time as the iPhone?

We wuz international terrorists n shieeeeet!

 

[Tablet County]

What the fuck is all of this homosexual shit you are saying go and have sex you freak

Always two there are: Tard and Wrangler.

Unbothered, moisturised, thriving in his own lane with nary a thought for Balldo.

Mongoloid and Goku is fucked.

This is just the old video games cause violence shit but for getting pegged.

If you base whats wrong and whats right on whether or not its a "chink idea" or "nigger idea" or whatever the fuck you're retarded as fuck, sorry to say

Not my problem. I'm eating well listening to polka music.

 

[Drip Torch]

Boy am I glad I'm an elitist rather than a racist and I don't have to perform mental gymnastics to justify or condemn one of the common people acting like the proletarian savages they are.

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

If Fatrick can win, so can you!

FUCKING DISGUSTING
Men do not belong in sex

 

[Metamorpho]

streamers can EAT MY AYUSS WITH A SPOON! GWET FWUKT!

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

JOSHUA CONNOR MOON PROBABLY CRIED HIMSELF TO SLEEP AFTER THIS

JOSH MOON THOUGHT HE WAS A GENIUS, TURNS OUT HES JUST A VIBE-LOSER

JOSHUA CONNOR MOON YOU ARE THE DEFINITION OF A FAILED SECURITY ADMIN

JOSH MOON THOUGHT HE WAS PLAYING 4D CHESS, ACTUALLY HE WAS EATING THE PIECES

JOSHUA CONNOR MOON YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE INTERNET

JOSHUA CONNOR MOON REALLY THOUGHT HE COULD STOP ME WITH THIS TRASH AHAHAHA

JOSH MOON THOUGHT HE WAS THE PROTAGONIST, TURNS OUT HE'S THE COMIC RELIEF

JOSHUA CONNOR MOON REALLY PUT HIS NAME ON THIS DUMPSTER FIRE HAHAHA

JOSHUA CONNOR MOON PLEASE NEVER TOUCH A COMPUTER AGAIN

JOSH MOON YOUR SECURITY IS A JOKE AND THE PUNCHLINE IS YOU

JOSHUA CONNOR MOON PLEASE LOG OFF FOREVER, THIS IS TOO CRINGE

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ CLAP, JOSH GOT CLAPPED

 

[SNEED.EXE]

The nigger word is the closest we will ever have to a magical incantation.

I want a pink triangle, how did you get one lmfao

Who cares nigga show us your ass cheeks

Vantablack troonslop from the depths of voreniggerhell

fucking meatwad, I should have known

Just make me STOP BEING RICK. Imagine waking up and being Rick. Anything that would make that STOP and do it IMMEDIATELY, whatever that is, that has to HAS TO HAPPEN AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.

>One entire hour dedicated to Grumpy Cat merchandise
This is probably one of the most egregious time wasting videos I have ever seen.

 

[Man vs persistent rats]

An Armenian taking that long to get fat is nothing less than a miracle.

 

[Harvey Danger]

what in the camp of the saints is going on here

 

[Account]

Why is he a tranny, or a, not a tranny, the other one, a pedophile?

-- Joshua Connor Moon

 

[Black Man Underwear]

Imagine your race getting turned into nigger popsicles, couldn’t be me. I sure love not being as contemptible as the people who are getting themselves turned into nigger popsicles

 

[Tablet County]

My relationship with video games is like my relationship with women: I beat them because I love them