random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[verygayFrogs]

the chungus porn was nice

And the men don't care how ugly they are, they just get to brag about banging barely legals to their barely erectile-functioning coworkers.

It's "sugar baby" not "sugar buffet" goddamnit!

letting a guy old enough to be your dad fuck you, in exchange for...taking you to target?? for SLIME????

Take me to the moon, daddy!

Karen is a nigger and I would not have interracial sex with her

Narcissim must be a hell of a drug.

Get in the fucking waifu Shinji

Kero needs a stick covered in fire ants shoved up his ass.

Having the wrong leaf can be a felony, yet raping a dog to death and disseminating animal rape videos is fine

Autism is Unstopable.

HEY I'M GROPE
I'M NOT SO GROPE
AND WE'RE THE GAMEGROPES

Oh fuck off, it isn't 1992 anymore. The media constantly sucks LGBT dick and straight white people are boogeymen now.

Imagine getting so MATI over a ponyfag my little tranny autistic slapfight that you dox yourself.

Did she also file a police report implicating BJ Smegma?

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

He's going to get beat or killed if he ever sets foot in a black neighborhood rather than the safe, white spaces he stays in. Ghetto dwellers make for bad neighbors for the kind of black dude that gives other dudes lap dances.

 

[Tour of Italy]

Hearing the police arrest a neighbor, I know I won't have to hear that screechy baby talk for a least a night or so. I wish they'd just shoot her, she's white, there won't be any riots or social justice action with this one

Also:
@verygayFrogs I swear I’ve actually seen this one on the banner:

the chungus porn was nice

It would be nice if null updated his OP or otherwise posted the current random_text.txt so that we can see what picks make it in.

I suppose that would ruin the surprise or whatever but it sure would be convenient.

 

[Hitman One]

he doesn't even get neopussy or boipussy. This nigger is getting NEGATIVE amounts of pussy.

What is the name of this "stalking website" he's talking about. Surely it's not here! This is a site about agriculture in New Zealand!

getting yelled at by lesbians on twitter today is probably the most kevin has interacted with women in years

 

[NyQuilninja]

Amateur gay porn? I wasn't aware fudgepacking required practice.

Do they have weight training or something?

Urge to glow post, rising.

can we reschedule the rioting until my minneapolis lease is up?

Lol monkey dying. Maybe shouldn’t have given them a fake $20.

If these apes are so great, why didn't they invent guns?
Checkmate environmentalists.

1659:

"Goobu unga bunga googa bunga?"
"Nope. Nope, feck right off, we'll pick our own cotton and tobacco thank you. That's right, back in your canoe. Fare thee well."

based and ROMANpilled

Urge to call someone a faggot... rising...

I believe it's referred as "Woke in the streets. Colonized in the sheets."

Look, pale planetoids of flesh and cellulite need to be colonized by somebody.

Who dares (the folds), wins.

Lmfao she looks like she was an angsty lil porker in highschool

It's called hyperreality, where the reality they live in is crafted by the screen they stare at rather than looking up and around them.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

"What's inflation porn?"
"It's when you get off to price increases."
@IAmNotAlpharius

 

[NyQuilninja]

If he mauls Biden he will be the greatest patriot this country has ever know and will deserve a God damn statue.

I’m pretty sure the showers at Auschwitz were used more often.

Better go light my votive Bill Nye candle and have a ritual genderfluid ice cream orgy

He doesn't touch any. He's on twitter all day.

A penis isn't a fursona fatty.

with great power
comes great Gunt

Kamala Harris started her own Mukbang channel don't you know?

Seems more like the P.O.R.K.U.S. at this point

 

[Meat Target]

A 7-year-old boy from upstate New York has been charged with rape, a report said Tuesday.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

There are Trappist monks at the tops of remote mountains who have got more pussy than you. There are incel mass-shooters who have got more pussy than you. There are "my 600lb life" contestants who have got more pussy than you. Alinity's dog has had more pussy than you. There are sewer-dwelling dwarf hobos who have got more pussy than you. There are literally cucumbers in women's fridges that have got more pussy than you.

 

[PhoBingas]

truckstop prostitution on the internet.

 

[NyQuilninja]

Was this person smacked with the retard stick as a child?

Someone tell this filthy transphobe to read a different book.

she looks like a human thumb wearing a karen wig.

"Evolution happens because people allow it to" - autistic kiwiposter

 

[wolfpac92]

I had blood all over my face and was laughing like the joker hahahaha. It was pretty epic.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

View attachment 2045052

Isn't using cheating?

 

[wolfpac92]

Isn't using cheating?

Maybe but a grown man unironically thinking he sounded cool writing that is too funny to me regardless of who it is

 

[Tour of Italy]

Y en youtube mexivergas se merece uno. Ese tipo es una verguenza nacional

More international random_text.txt entries would be neat.

“And on YouTube, mexivergas deserves one [a thread]. This guy is a national embarassment.”

 

[Meat Target]

onlyfans whores are the worst fucking people to deal with behind only onlyfans itself, everyone involved in that company should be put to death

 

[Bender]

it’s like a child gangrape.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

What a disgusting woman. Who the fuck would pay for this Z-Tier whores nudes? Tits like fried eggs, stupid eBay quality BDSM leather with a stupid heart on it, Is that a fucking bruise on her leg?

 

[Meat Target]

I am legally blind, and I type by making monkey noises and smashing the keyboard with a ball peen hammer.

 

[NyQuilninja]

It reads like a dating profile.

“Juror No. 2 likes candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach. She is looking for something casual, but is open to the idea of a long-term relationship.”

You do know you're allowed to say "nigger" on this website, right?

That's adorable little nigger lover!

Maybe they don't realize conducting ranch business, tending to livestock, is not a sleepover with pizza, ice cream and Smash Bros.

Wonder if this gonna somehow be made into a statue, banana and all

One last question, if whitehouse.gov is not meant as a comedy website as you claim, why is it so dam funny

BANANA LOVERS MATTER!!!

>Dragon wok
>Floyd holding a banana
How many more racist stereotypes can we have in this court case before it ends, where's the sombrero and poncho wearing mexican

Dogs are pure creatures whose good names are being destroyed by sad and pathetic white women in their late 20s to mid 40s who are deluding themselves into thinking that animals can replace having children, but don't want to get cats because they don't want to be called crazy cat ladies.

Oh yeah, real eight year olds are legendary for their interest in Monopoly.

Why are you such a faggot?

"these senzu beans ain't shit"
George Floyd moments before his death

George Floyd for one hundred trillion dollar bill?

Well yea cats don't subsist off of toddler faces.