random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Considering the foreskin industry is a thing

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

He's just an old friend. Apparently had colon cancer 3 times.

Why yes my name happens to be salim sabul i hail from Pakistan. Here I come france!

 

[KiwiFuzz]

This might be the stupidest theory of race relations I have ever read. And I read @CatParty articles from The Root.

 

[6thRanger]

"my birthmark is shaped like my fleshlight does that get you wet babygirl?"

 

[ToroidalBoat]

"Sponsored by Kraken Rum."

I didn't know Kraken Rum was a real thing until the other day.

(what's the story behind that one?)

 

[NyQuilninja]

Having a prostate automatically disqualifies you from being a woman.

Did that deaf guy flip everyone off? Because that would be an accurate translation.

without damage..ouch
so Sophie's ass had been stretched way beyond 7 inches and the coon is geting hung up on polyps and cysts from all the responsible kinking

One raccoon is nothing, I said you can take two raccoons up your ass.

The DiaperFag's Guide to the Galaxy defines
Rectal Prolaspe as the fallout from too much responsible kinking

I swear on everything I love, Twitter is f'n delusional. Never before have I seen a massive group of people disconnected to reality and encouraged to think so. It almost makes my head hurt. It's funny until you realize that's their reality.

ok this is fucking too stupid to shitpost about

Fellow Kiwis, I just want to say that no matter what the verdict is or whatever happens, this trial was just as retarded, stupid, incompetent, and disastrous as it should have been.
It has been an honor to sneed with you, Godspeed.

I already said no to the "new normal" last year.

If you live anywhere other than the state of Minnesota, buy popcorn. If you do live in Minnesota well...hope you bought ammo.

I fucking hate dogs and the dumb fucking cunts that fawn over them

that mask makes it look like she's wearing a thong on her face.

What the fuck does any of that bullshit literally have anything to do with his post? You're just an insufferable faggot who is clearly projecting lol.

What a shitty thing to do.



hahahahueheuheueheasjjasjdajsdja;ofubswer;lkjwbrekvwe:Krjbv;kewBR;KJweo;ibfv;qboi#hrO;2wui34bfg[o w32I4BNV;'OWe

I would say you should probably stop drinking, but I think you should drink more instead.

 

[Carbonation Grimace]

That's the difference between leftist fucksticks like you and heroic noble aryan free-speech ubermensch like us.

 

[NyQuilninja]

"It's gonna be my dick, it's not my dick yet, it's gonna be my dick"
Buddy...

It’s a metaphor for transitioning. You reach a certain point and you can’t go forward - no matter what you do, you still don’t pass and the promise of fulfilling your AGP fantasies is as far off as ever. But you can’t go back either - you cut your cock off and you’ll be ostracised by your new “friends.”

That’s why the raccoon is whining about passing.

“Hey hubby, I shit the bed.”

There seems to be a lot of pedophiles in Antifa/BLM. I can go my entire life without encountering one but I throw a rock into an Antifa riot and I hit five child rapists.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

That man put his mouth on that fucking thing holy shit

Meh. He's not even committed to the bit. He barely touched it.

I mean, I would be annoyed too if I had to lick wounds and get pissed on knowing it's all a LARP.

Jesus, in complete and genuine seriousness, it looks like he's licking the opening of an uncooked turkey.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

Sonichu is an ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POKEMON, not a yellow sonic you FUCKER

 

[Image Reactions]

I bet you shut that fuckin door

 

[Antipathy]

Genetic fuck ups should be punted into the medical waste. Animal, human, whatever. Get them gone and make another.

has anybody ever slept with a girl who looks like this and not been accused of rape the next day? Serious question

I'm about to updoot myself if you catch my drift

"The sign is a subtle joke. The shop is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed", where feed and seed both end in the sound "-eed", thus rhyming with the name of the owner, Sneed. The sign says that the shop was "Formerly Chuck's", implying that the two words beginning with "F" and "S" would have ended with "-uck", rhyming with "Chuck". So, when Chuck owned the shop, it would have been called "Chuck's Fuck and Suck"."

Things women can't do:
1. Be funny.
2. Be on a jury and be fair.
3. Accept people can advise, scold or teach them anything.
4. Push-ups.
5. Sneed.

I hope I'm not being a retard but what's a sneed?

In the context of today's climate, a lot of John Adams quotes are chilling as fuck.

Welp. Glad I didn't put any money down on my tard bet.

Nothing could ever disappoint me more than the 2020 election, though. At this point I'm just here to watch the Niggening and enjoy the ride.

 

[JustSomeDong]

"I'm not racist. I just think Black People will go into a feral rage and attack the nearest living thing if the word nigger is heard."

 

[Meat Target]

Consider those dragon dildos looted and used

 

[HTTP Error 404]

BLM spent all summer trying to get white people to take a knee, then when Chauvin does it, they get mad. There really is no pleasing these people.

 

[Gar For Archer]

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

View attachment 2103526

If you will excuse me I am going to use a pickaxe to explain the concept of sarcasm to whoever wrote that. In Minecraft.

 

[Meat Target]

I can get an affidavit saying that I got anally raped by Bigfoot in a UFO.

 

[JustSomeDong]

Care to put your feed and seed where your mouth is, faggot?
2200 EST, 09/5/2020, 4210 Wolfetown Rd, Cherokee, NC 28719
Bring as many of your cowardly friends as you want; I'll go to prison, but all of you will go to Chuck’s.

 

[Sithis]

This thread is moving so fast no one will know I’m really Null

"This thread is moving so fast no one will know I’m really Null"