random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Zero Day Defense]

Is there going to be a scene where Batman eats out Miranda Cosgrove?

 

[Meat Target]

Just pull yourself up by the gimpstraps.

 

[NyQuilninja]

I'm still waiting for the carnival mass shooting I was promised.

Jack Chick was right again.

They should make a Gummy Bears live reboot except all they do is ass fuck each other nonstop.

Some fucking cunt pulled her mask up to her face as she was walking past me. I stopped her and asked her if she thinks I'm sort of diseased animal, and berated her until she was in tears.

Wait.
Is Carly going to start an OnlyFans?

 

[Meat Target]

At least now I can shove the antenna in my rectum to scan for colon cancer. Checkmate athiests

Put a dick in your mouth
OR
MGTOW

Their paymasters finally decided to aim their paid shill posters and bots our way. Everyone say hello to the reptiloids!

 

[NyQuilninja]

She's the type that goes to orgies and complains about the cheese dip.

Is it possible that Jonny has a folder loaded up with so many fresh faux-ginas that he can’t tell which one is his?

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Of course, murder is a bit more complicated to pull off successfully than to chop your dick off, but eventually the first murder happens.

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

I wouldn't have sex with a cartoon robot even if you were paying for it.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Quite true on all points. But as it was in 1917, the left can't help but eat itself again. That's why Buck Breaking (2021) is so seminal.

 

[NyQuilninja]

He looks like the type to go to your house and try to molest your pets.

 

[Meat Target]

I am circumcised and I have plenty of feeling in my glans. You can ask your mom.

It's like an abstract expressionist painting of actual hair. I call it, "Reptar On Acid".

Just go fucking watch hentai like a normal person

 

[T_Holygrail_Jesuschrist 2]

Men Alone 2: The K-Y Connection

 

[Kreitani]

Gentlemen, welcome to Kiwifarms

 

[Positron]

 

[Local Fed]

"I realized something was wrong when she cummed in my ass".

JK Rowling must be stopped.

If a woman just offers you the butthole unsolicited and she's not European, then it's probably a troon.

GOD DAMN IT FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT GOING TO RAPE YOU I'M BUSY NOW STOP ASKING

Vowels are a tool of oppression the hegemonic Albanoid cave beasts use to oppress proud brothers.

As a white man, I finally understand how black people felt when black panther was released

 

[Obscenity Enthusiast]

Wern's telomere-soaked kernels of wisdom

 

[Meat Target]

Watching Jim is like watching a cartoon supervillain seeing his plans derailed and saying "No! No! This cannot be! I cannot lose!" as he falls into a pit of lava.

 

[NyQuilninja]

It makes my dick longer and harder.

Your grammar made me think I was having a fucking aneurysm.

She is a fat, cripple, ugly nigger and I will not have sex with her.

That is a fat nigger.

THE GREAT WHITE MASTURBATOR

I'm innocent! And I'll kill anyone who don't believe me!

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

They cook like a reddit meme from 10 years ago.

I thought I was a bad neighbor because I let my grass grow sorta long when I feel lazy or wanna see it longer while all my neighbors are cut.

That person and their spouse are actually based to not trust troons with guns.

This is a eunuch survivalist ranch right? Where do they get the estrogen from?

Expecting troons to know about any sort of life skill is unfortunately too much to ask.

I bet they don't even know about indirect heat grilling.

Triple H? We don’t agree on much but when I see your culinary advice while going down a thread? It brightens up my day just a little bit.

Its hilarious when people wrap things in bacon and dont realize you have to bake it.

Real men use grill!

You can use a grill to make jalapeño poppers, however, it requires that you use indirect heat and a disposable aluminum pan. And of course cutting them open first to stuff them with cream cheese and a bit of seasoning before wrapping them in bacon.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

"I had to murder those six year old children in self defense!"

 

[Lunete]

If he was getting laid, he'd brag about slapping his gunt into another gunt and making a valdez-sized sperm spill.​