random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[TheBest]

Kiwifarms can't keep getting away with it! 3 twanswammen and a president were literally murdered!

 

[Meat Target]

When Dale Gribbles attack

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Being rich sounds exhausting. I'd much rather go to a middle-class fake fancy place than pay to smell the chef's farts.

These people make Prime Day look like Funko Popiversary.

It's not over until the fat lady cleans up all that glitter she spilled on her bed.

 

[CatParty]

Apparently the slippery slope is now just a water slide that ends in a tub full of dragon dildos.

 

[Law]

Its almost like they know they're monsters.

 

[Meat Target]

“Would you like syphilis sauce or the gonorrea guacamole with that?”

You think the coof could bring down the MACHO MA'AM?!

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Fuck off with that bullshit. Every tribe tried to fuck eachother over with their own set of politics.
Chief ScrotalBull got into a shitfit with Chief AnalEagle because AnalEagle decided to tap ScrotalBull's sister. Blammo. War.

Everyone has been fucking eachother for millenia, it just so happened the natives didn't pay for the 20 dollar DLC pass to advance past bows and arrows.

I can't even imagine the existential dread that you must feel to be someone in your 30s, unmarried, without children, without a job that you find meaningful, and your only respite of the crushing weight of this reality is a mouse-themed park of a multinational billion dollar corporation that doesn't know that you exist, doesn't care that you exist, and only wants your money.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Oh the limitless possibilities. Please fucking kill me.

 

[Meat Target]

We can't keep getting away with it.

At this point I think shitty podcasts are replacing Corvettes and Harleys as the vehicle of choice for the midlife crisis.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

We are closely monitoring the feud between #WhiteFartsMatter and #BlackFartsMatter

 

[Useful_Mistake]

You mean bringing death into the world? He tricked a woman into disobeying God cause the man and woman weren't choosing evil on their own. Tricked. It wasn't her natural choice. Tricked.....like pretending to be someone else online.

 

[Cryonic Haunted Bullets]

Odds are the extent of negotiations was Penny going "You want to be my sex slave?" and Kev going "Sure!" (add in sound effects and suitable coomer emojis) and nothing more at all.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

There was an entire infographic about it.

 

[Meat Target]

Oh, yeah, and also pedophilia or whatever I guess.

Like adopt-a-SPED

Thisism articlism ism completism shitism.

Sexually transmitted autism.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I'm not a chomo, I just think about being a chomo.

 

[Meat Target]

Where’s this guy now?
(Hopefully burning in hell, but probably not).

 

[nekrataal]

American Law doesn't hold weight with God. But you can keep posting it though.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Anyone else notice how troons get two couches?

 

[Meat Target]

Well, he'd be the right face for a movement to persuade women to arm themselves. Just imagine him showing up at your door at 1am to explain himself, and handgun sales would go through the roof.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

@Dude Weed