random_text.txt

[HONKY DESTROYER]

I don't support Trump you punk ass faggot Come here and tell me that and I'll sodomize your fucking sorry ass, you punk cuckboy. You faggot. You can't touch me fucking bitch. fucking ho. you're nothing but a sorry ass FURRY bitch. You bitch. Come on you bitch. You fucking miserable scared coward, wanna suck Jin's cock for more than two fucking decades good fucking luck bitch. Look at you silly cuck, Scared like a little bitch boy. Scared of the real man. I'll fuck you till you love me faggot.

-ZatLit

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/zatlit...eksismywife-zeelover2049.144847/post-19985782

 

[Aunt Carol]

Fucking pieces of shit at the Pokemon Company sent my plushies to the billing address not the mailing address.

 

[demicolon]

Never trust a man that has more than two tits.

 

[Disc]

there I was outside the men’s restroom, waiting for a paper cup full of semen.

My friends threw me a big sperm party ― not a party where people brought sperm, which might have been a great idea, but a fundraiser to buy the stuff.

And yet, ironically, sperm is not a scarce commodity.

One Saturday in the midst of this process, I went to an intuitive healing workshop with my closest friend and confidant, RoiAnn. We wrote down goals and meditated, focusing on creating a life we believed in. I was on that journey but I was stuck. The leader insisted, “There is no stuck. We can move through anything.”

How about money for sperm? I thought, but she didn’t address that.

Shortly after retiring to a room on the lower level, Drake returned with a coffee cup full of his fresh semen.

Using my handy little syringe to squirt the valuable fluid right up to my cervix, I inseminated in a room full of windows looking out into the woods. During the night, deer came to eat corn left outside in the moonlight. It was magical.

But I didn’t get pregnant.

Telling you I got pregnant that night would be the Hollywood ending to this story, but I didn’t. Nor did I on the next trip to Burger King or the few we took after that.

I decided to go the frozen sperm route.

Articles and News is a magical place.

 

[Gentlebastard]

This writing style is just so obnoxious. It would have been quaint if Maddox published this article in 1999. It would have been old hat if it'd been posted on Cracked circa 2010. Now it's just embarrassing.
You don't need to pretend to be Hunter Thompson covering every gay little thing that happens in your life.

I'd like to think that it wouldn't take much brain power to figure out the rough bristle brush used to scrub shit off of the side of a toilet should not be shoved up you gina.

I was a senior in high school when the Virginia Tech shooting happened, and I remember finding out about it and me and my friends seeking out more information because we were actively workshopping jokes in the cafeteria literally instantly.

You can instantly corral a lot of people into a predictable place by simply saying the word nigger, then not apologizing. You can also do that by pulling your pants and shitting on their shoes, but this is easier.

she describes breathing normally as "raw dogging air"

All I said was breathing is unnatural and wrong, why am I being put on a List of the Insane?

hey dudes... pissin, huh? yessir that's my shit. I love to piss. right out my man dick. whew I'll tell ya, something all us guys know and love is a good old fellas piss

What's the best solution in this case?

1) Pulling them out and see if their "non-violence" posturing still holds up
2) "Accidentally" spilling bottled fox urine right near their face
3) CRUNCHCRUNCHCRUNCH

as we all know nothing is more badass than basic kitchen appliances

His gunt reached critical mass and is starting to split down the middle into two mini-gunts. Gunt mitosis.

 

[Cnidarian]

It is a lot more distracting for a post to read like a homosexual robot than for it to read like a third worlder.

 

[Aunt Carol]

It's a Rorschach print of autism and carbs.

 

[PhoBingas]

This makes me thirsty for orange Fanta.

 

[Papa stink]

"The surge of traffic to the Kiwi Farms related to Destiny's blowjob video has caused a fatal database error"

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I was a senior in high school when the Virginia Tech shooting happened, and I remember finding out about it and me and my friends seeking out more information because we were actively workshopping jokes in the cafeteria literally instantly.

I know the platitude is "The internet isn't real life" but this phenomenon you describe is real. You can instantly corral a lot of people into a predictable place by simply saying the word nigger, then not apologizing. You can also do that by pulling your pants and shitting on their shoes, but this is easier.

I couldn't have married a man who didn't make sick, dark jokes.

How do you fit 10 babies in a bucket?


With a blender.


How do you get them out again?


With Doritos.


Can't beat a dead baby joke.

That reminds me of one of my favorite jokes, this one used to be a staple in my country
What is it- small, white, *click*, red?

A newborn in a blender

What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

You can't fuck a rock.

Do you know what's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown outfit

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

This is why I'm pro choice. Cause dead babies are funny.

You know what’s cooler than the Ferrari in my driveway?

The pile of dead babies in the garage.

What’s funnier than ten dead babies in a trash can?

One dead baby in ten trash cans.

What does a baby in the microwave look like?
I don't know either, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Certifiably non-autistic and non-male behavior.

Make sure there aren't any samurais hiding inside of it!

 

[⚞⛇⚟]

[I first discovered pornography when I was] 13-14 with the Nintendo 3ds. (With the online search function)

When I see the word nintendosexual, it hits a but too close to home lol.

 

[LurkTrawl]

No, you faggot. If you're a white male, you get called a nigger. If you're black, you get called a nigger. Mexican? Hola, nigger. A woman? First you get told to get back in the kitchen, and then when you open the fridge, you get called a nigger. Everyone is an african american online.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Fuck modern games, fuck remakes, fuck shite retro ports on PC. Emulators are all I’ll ever need.

 

[grenouille crétine]

“I really wish that spectrophilia wasn’t so taboo because I really want to sing the praises of my lovely husband and his massive dick!

But since he’s dead, people will tell me he’s not real, and I’m just delusional. ”

 

[VeteranOfTheRetardWars]

I thought it was just about the YMCA. How is the song gay?

 

[Metamorpho]

Have her nudes leaked yet? I tried trading for them years ago but the fag who had them didn't like my offer

 

[indomitable snowman]

On more than one occasion, it’s alleged that Jeffries and Smith directed others to inject, or personally injected, men with a drug for the purpose of causing the men to engage in sex acts, the source said.

i will bully null to make that a random.txt

 

[JustSomeDong]

> Threatening legal action against anyone who calls it a gay anthem

When even the Village People are getting fed up with the gays....

 

[BirdUp]

Here he sits valiantly, on my cuck chair.

the fabric of the fart couch crackles with cosmic electricity as he pokes out his incisive takes: orange man bad. blue man good. fat man powerful