random_text.txt

[Blasterisk]

I had a burger stashed in my desk, for like in case I wanted it for later. Like, when I order stuff, sometimes I stash a little bit extra in the drawer.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Here's a quick glance into her future:

I got testicular implants but the stitches burst but no regrets.
It looks like I need a 2nd revision but no regrets.
My urethral lengthening didn't work so well and I keep getting UTIs but no regrets.
It looks like I need a 3rd revision but no regrets.
I have necrosis on my phallo but no regrets.
It looks like I need a 4th revision but no regrets.
The wounds keep separating but no regrets.
It looks like I need a 5th revision but no regrets.
I can't cum anymore but no regrets.
It looks like I need a 6th revision but no regrets.
I can't find anyone to have sex with but no regrets.
It looks like I need a 7th revision but no regrets.
Normal antibiotics are no longer helping after my 50th UTI but no regrets.
It looks like I need a 8th revision but no regrets.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Your seething makes your Ashkenazi IQ decrease.

Please don't rate @AgendaPoster's posts Dumb, MATI or Autistic. By order of the mulatto Jew.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I just want this to lead to a lawsuit with the Canadian government suing 4chan over plagiarized dinosaur porn.

You people are like patient sharks, cruising along with no news for weeks, months, but one drop of blood in the water and you're on it

Volcano High is The Heaven's Gate of visual novels.

No non-autistic man or woman will spend several hours at the computer making tiles swap from one color to the next, much less spend several more hours recording and editing videos for it.

Imagine having your home bombed and relatives killed and you get some faggot going "omg this is just like Harry Potter!!"

You're in the hospital. The chemotherapy is incredibly taxing on your body, but it's the pain relief and the anti anxiety medications that truly cloud your mind. It's either that or be in continuous pain and agony. Truth be told, the warm euphoria of your pain killers is the only pleasure left to you now. You'll never again know the pleasure of a quiet drink with friends. The touch of a man. The glowing satisfaction of a job well done. Even in the haze you know the end is near. You worked hard all your life. You juggled a career and motherhood. You poured your hopes and dreams into your child, and squirreled away a modest nest egg for him in the hopes he'd get some of the advantages you never had.

He's come waddling into your hospital room now. His limp, greasy hair clinging to his sagging jawline and rolls on his neck. The lumps and folds of his doughy body squished into his too-tight tshirt. He's wheeling his diaper-clad, wheelchair bound girlfriend in with him. A thick thatch of her belly hair pokes out beneath the crinkled waistband of her soiled diaper.

"PENNY, THAT FUCKING CUNT LEFT STANDING CAT PISS ALL OVER THE FLOOR, AND HE NEVER ONCE THANKED YOU FOR CLEANING IT UP." Paul was born without an indoor voice, and his words carry clearly to the other dying patients in your ward.

He unplugs your heart monitor, the machine goes silent. "KIND NEEDS IT TO CHARGE HER SWITCH, MOM"

You reach out your hand, to try and grasp his. You had such high hopes for your baby boy. Poured so much love and affection into his upbringing. Sacrificed so much.

"Paul, I---"

"FUCK! DONT YOU START DEADNAMING ME TOO NOW, YOU BITTER OLD CUNT." He jams some papers in your face. "HERE, I NEED YOU TO SIGN THESE. THE TRANCH IS FUCKED, MOM. PENNY REALLY FUCKED YOUR CREDIT UP. YOU BETTER GET A LAWYER OR THE BANK IS GONNA START DIPPING INTO YOUR SAVINGS."

Paul leaves the papers on your chest and begins rifling the pills left on your nightstand.

"DO YOU REALLY NEED ALL THESE HYDROCODONE, MOM? KIND'S EPILEPSY IS SO BAD THESE DAYS THAT SHE CAN BARELY HANDLE HER 14 INCH VIBRATOR WITHOUT FALLING INTO A SEIZURE. I'M JUST GONNA TAKE A FEW, OK?"

"Wee waah wee. I'm a robot baby" Kindness chirps in agreement.

It is not clever. It is stupid.

Okay, that's enough Kiwifarms for one night.

I have no snoot, and I must shitpost.

A double-troon couple I know (straight with extra steps, MTF with an FTM) did this with their kid to sacrifice him on the diversity alter. When he wore his pink and leopard print outfits his parents encouraged him to wear to school, he got bullied and very quickly developed some very anti-diversity opinions.

I hope whatever unpaid intern wrote this literary vomit was sent to Ukraine as an observer.

 

[Coelacanth]

Happy birthday, fatshit! May Bubba give you all the birthday pickles you deserve

 

[Meat Target]

The Traffic Tribunal sentences you to DEATH.

 

[Table Country]

'm sure this low effort fridge food doesn't deserve to be labelled "bento", but ~uuwuu, I use "fancy word", makes me feel like I did... something worthwhile~

it's food from 3 days ago in the fridge Anisa.

I just want to come inside Emma Watson while forcing her to agree with politically incorrect opinions.

St. Floyd used his divine nigger powers to kneel upon the power cord to save as many black trans lives as possible before Null used the ancient scripture of a job application to dispel the niggatry from his home.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

You idiot, now Nick Bate is going to break out of prison and sodomize everyone in the thread.

 

[vomitusdeux]

I guess I'm too autistic to understand why clownworld cancelled the fat nigger syrup lady. Was she not gross enough?

Does Mexico even have welfare?

Y’all are acting like it isn’t super ableist that the laws of thermodynamics won’t change to accommodate Polissa’s unique disability needs.

With all those chemicals in his system that baby is gonna be retarded as fuck. I bet even Ralph's sperm are pickled at this point.

Ralph, please say for me, " I'm poor White trash, and I'm in trouble."

Of course I don't read Beauty Parlor. Who wants to hear the milquetoast takes of a thousand yammering bitches?

View attachment 4617853

disney: here's a black guy, he's loud and stupid and subservant to the white woman
people: WOW BASED BLACK STORM TROOPER

food companies: here's a wholesome black person who is a success
people: NOOOOOOOOO THATS HORRIBLE

Fuck you Chantal and fuck your brony loving autistic flying monkey too!

being raped by a sea urchin would be a true Night Mare.

I'd like to thank our white supremacist woke leftist allies for deniggerifying the grocery store.

 

[DoubleD]

A trans cartoonist with a fetish for nappies, no, that is a bridge too far. Could I say it's a rash decision?

From the below:

I do say of course we need to have education with regards these matters, but a trans cartoonist with a fetish for nappies, no, that is a bridge too far, thank you for that. Could I say it's a rash decision? Probably not, but you know what I'm driving at.

- Nick Ferrari on his LBC radio show, 22nd February 2023

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sophi...tel-sexy-times-wafflesart.17137/post-15120246

 

[Aunt Carol]

We really need a sticker that combines Informative with Horrifying for things like the disc golf controversy.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Surely this is going to be a productive thread and a good use of everyone’s time.

The incels and femcels should just hate-fuck already.

You shouldn't be allowed out in public without a male chaperone if you're too stupid to understand the difference between undo and undue.

Disney is one of those things where the American social classes can be divided out.

1. "We can't afford to go."
2. "We can go someday."
3. "We can go once every few years."
4. "We can go once a year."
5. "We can go whenever we want."
6. "We can get private tours and skip the lines at Disney."
7. "Why would you want to go to Disney?"

I've always thought it would be fun to go to a few of these parks and film a documentary in the style of Steve Irwin stalking and recording the behaviors of the kiddults as some sort of exotic venomous animal who's capable of spreading retardation. You could use kids as props to pretend you are filming your own children but in reality you are just collecting footage for a nature documentary about the worst forms of Peter Pan syndrome in the wild. Bet security wouldn't even catch you until you started posting the footage and they went to look for person doing it.

They're just prowling for crazy Disney-girl pussy, right? They're not really taking the Disney quiz seriously. Right? RIGHT???

Christ should be the foundation of a life long marriage, not Mickey fucking Mouse.

Mickey Mouse themed wedding rings are some of the most Poor White Trash junk imaginable.

Retards attract.

You will RUE THE DAY you didn't take my Mickey sugar cookie review seriously!

Something I've been thinking about when watching videos of these Disney adults is "The poor actors." It's one thing having to walk around the park all day in a big mascot suit or princess dress when it's super hot outside. It's another thing when you have childless wine aunts and Soyface McGee harassing you at the same time.

Not sure how it is now, but I bet when these people first took the jobs, they were thinking, "I can't wait to make some kids smile! " Instead, they get 30-year-old women and autistic men who want to be treated like children.

It's 2 hours long and I don't support the first amendment for fat people, so I will not listen to it.

"You beat me at a shooting contest, let's buttfuck the shit out of each other.".

 

[Gentlebastard]

I've lost track of the times where I've thought "this has to be a shitpost" and doing even a minimal dive into the poster only to realize, nope this nigger is 100% serious.

I'd like to see an MRI of this faggots skull compared to Dong Gones or even a Neanderthals for that matter because without DNA analysis I'm extremely unsure wether this thing could be classed as Homosapien. It's certainly homo but I'm not sure exactly homo what...

Unfortunately all that's left to appeal to the masses is pop culture... or maybe the diversity hire simply has terminal consoomer brain rot.

Bless your optimistic heart my nigga

Not even gays would stick their dick in that.

If I kill myself, it means Nick avacado would have outlived me. So I decide to keep on chugging just to spite him.

I threatened suicide once. Turns out I just wanted attention.

Its not over till the fat lady sings. I am the fat lady.

the Grand Canyon (renamed "Great Troon Memorial Stinkditch")

Goddammit, I didn’t come here to feel things

And I thought that troons stealing underwear and fapping to it was the most pathetic way to get off. But “stuffing a sock into your crotch and rubbing the bulge” is a close contender.

And now I'm curious if I can find some tumblr idiot using a "respect Satan's pronouns" post based upon Paradise Lost.

tranny's stop being socially inept retards challenge: impossible

Consonants. Not even once.

HAHAHAHA the two adult baby fetishists trying to sound tough with each other!!

I hope WWIII breaks out this year just so nobody has time for this shit anymore.

Of course your muscles are going to change over a decade if you sit on your ass, regardless of whether or not you’re throwing back horse piss pills.

Think of the Goth kids from South Park sneering down at the normies, only way more pathetic.

 

[Haffhart]

It truly is a shame we can't rub people down with chemicals and see if electrocuting them produces nerve gas.

 

[Ophelia]

“tumblr: the only platform where you can log on and get harassed by jeffery dahmer, michael jackson, richard ramirez and heath ledger”

From:

View attachment 4628804

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

Have the boomer microchimerisms from all her geriatric bukkake sessions entered her brain and made her senile?

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

If you are wondering how I know about such depraved stuff. My hobby is researching things people don't tend to speak of.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

I dunno, bro, I kinda feel like you're being a bit willingly obtuse here. When you're debating what's more harmful - this soft-focus Playboy magazine shoot from 1976 of a smiling woman baring her breasts vs. whatever scene LegalPorno shot last week of some sobbing Eastern European teenager getting slapped around, taking four gigantic black cocks in her anus until it prolapses and then being pissed all over - I imagine they'll probably only be one winner.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Let's escape to the Everglades together and become even more racist and I will serenade you every night with sperging about old video games, and then we'll take turns slicing one another and lapping up each other's blood and be the happiest couple in the world.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

You gave me $20s to throw stale memes in the supporter's board?

Poles don't get along fine anywhere. They just sulk and clean toilets.

This man just cannot accept what he found out after fucking about.

Rotdog on my mons with Ben wa silicone stress balls.

Try rolling up a pizza. There's your answer.

Meghan and Harry take it up the ass, doo dah, doo dah!

Meghan and Harry take it in every hole, oh, the doo-dah day!

First Amendment, bitches!

Unfortunately it was somebody else's flag and that's a no-no. You've gotta buy your own fag flag if you want to have a bonfire.

And Bingo Wings.

Yeah I'm likely full of shit or just plain wrong. Call me Ishmael Oscar :trashcan:

This has passed "Check his hard drive".
Some needs to check his crawlspace.

"I am personally sorry to hear to of your experiences with your identity choice"

You tell people who don't know that Arizona has a monsoon season and they look at you like you have a dick growing out of your forehead.

Just order another $20 slice of toast, you'll get over it.

I really don’t know how anyone can see that giant lipped purple dayglo black coochie and feel sexual desire, I always get away from the main stage if a bixnood stripper comes on, it puts me off my food.

And the bars should be penis shaped with the balls registering a negative value on the y axis.

Okay, that's enough Kiwifarms for one night.

To be fair though, everything other than a real penis would make a terrible penis.

Goddammit, I didn’t come here to feel things

i need a diagram

and also an adult

YOU ARE SOMEBODY! YOU CAN DO SOMETHING!

BAN
ASSAULT
LIGHTNING
NOW!

My mother knows I'm a lolicon now.

I'm telling you all a bit of a story. I was playing a Pokemon game with a friend, and we're good friends. We make jokes against each other, yadda yadda yadda. My friend knows I like lolis, and during one of our conversations where I said "Cope seethe mald" because he lost in a Pokemon battle that I won in, he said "Cope seethe mald 'cause you're a pedophile!". Now obviously I'm not, but I don't know what his stance is on lolicons so I asked him if he actually thinks I'm a pedophile. He said "No, not actually", and my mother overheard what I said. She went into my room and asked "Why would people think you're a pedophile?" and I told her that I liked lolis (No hesitation, by the way. I'm shameless for a reason). She asked what a loli was, and I showed her an image of a loli. Her response?

"Yeah, she's a little on the younger side. At least depicted as the younger side. I can see why people think you're a pedophile, but it's just fiction"
(I don't remember her exact words, but that's close)

So now my mother knows that I like lolis, and seeing as she mentioned that it was on the younger side and I mentioned pedophilia, she knows I mean sexually. She's perfectly fine with me liking lolis and she, like any sensible person, chalks it up to "It's just fiction".

Best part is, she's a psychologist.
You know, the people that know the human mind and its function.

The people that STUDY human psychology.
The THERAPISTS.

My mother is a childless narcissist. It's really hard.

This is proof of the wonders of recycling the dead as a food source!

I feel like they should pool together HRT and dilator resources and buy Tranny Island. It'll be like a TNR cat colony.

I've been eating the same woman every other night for 50 years

Octofronthole

Fat niggers in space.