random_text.txt

[Mad_Dog]

It's like she used to only hate herself as a hobby and now she's gone pro

 

[chalkyresidue]

Spanish is often disappointing in its profanity.

One time I was working with some Dominican guys, and I asked them what about ducks (pato) is gay.

The answer? “Idk, they walk funny.”

 

[Aunt Carol]

I don't know about the Reese's ice cream, but my parents were disappointed by the Kit Kat ice cream.

My family came over and went, "What the FUCK is that smell?" (I have lost my sense of smell.)
It turns out that a giant vase full of living onions smells like onions.
My family stole my onions and cooked them with fried rice and we ate them for supper.
I still think keeping a couple in a jar in the kitchen window is okay, but uh maybe don't keep a hundred in your bedroom.

This is the thread for wholesome quotes, right?

 

[Brain Power]

You're such a bad poster that you got a perfect royal flush of negative stickers. I don't think I"ve ever seen that before.

 

[Law]

ive noticed this online women constantly talk about periods my mom never did i did not know they even existed intill i was online so women tell me why do you constantly talk periods

This poster is probably a child so I feel kind of bad, but this is one of the funniest sentences I've read on this website.

 

[LurkTrawl]

McMahon named the sex toys so that the color of the toy matched the race of the wrestler—for example, a black “dildo” would be named after an African American wrestler and a white “dildo” would be named after a Caucasian wrestler.

During a David-versus-Goliath-type wrestling match in 2019, Ms. Grant shared with McMahon her thoughts on the event, the draw of rooting for the underdog, and ideas for future events. McMahon complimented her creative input. She believed she was being taken seriously—that is, until McMahon named a dildo after the smaller wrestler and attempted to sexualize the situation, diminishing her input.

 

[cybertoaster]

China's dystopian society disturbs me. They already of 15 minute cities in many places and overall just feels like hell. The only thing I could really respect about this fucked up shithole is it's rejection of faggotry such as LGBT and Social Justice even though China is a communist secular state.

This is your brain on /pol/.

 

[Tablet County]

Britain, if your raging hard on for a decisive war with Russia lasts more than 170 years seek international help.

In terms of butt-fucking jokes, the Mahrines hold the crown.

 

[Lithuophile]

just like there is white trash, there are niggers, you are one of them.

She'd first need to be taught by a black kang such as yourself about black rape statistics

The beautiful sounds of Android throwing beer bottles as Ness works on scrubbing her cut-off plaid shirts.

 

[Pissmaster]

It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you at least cuddle a bit haha.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

You do not need pussy to live

But if you're stranded, alone in a survival situation your first instinct isn't going to be "how can I turn this cactus into a makeshift fleshlight?"

 

[Tablet County]

I'm a kike, a homosexual, and a member of the furry fandom. I don't know what the inside of a closet looks like. Who do you think I am, Tom Cruise?

 

[Lifeguard Hermit]

@Lifeguard Hermit, I'm 24 and still never had sex, don't plan on doing it any time soon.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I’m gonna rape Android raptor until she’s pregnant than I’m gonna shove feces up her pussy so our baby can have a little snack.

 

[Waifu Days]

Yes, but I'm not legally allowed to.

 

[Billy Bob Dick]

After I voiced my suspicions of moderator favoritism surrounding this user, the owner of this website personally showed up in a rage and told me to kill myself.

 

[Meiwaku]

" When i return, im done sexting even if theyre into it"

"I'm a horny ass lonely dude right now. And I let my weakness for pussy get me in trouble on here"

User @Ed Weed at his finest saying goodbye in the DMs

 

[Tablet County]

GAY FURRY DEMIURGE. IT WOULD BE GREAT.

I believe the title went something like PAWG Wifey's Anal Destruction By BBC While Husband Watches

it was a sad story about a young mother failing to cope with overwork at the British Broadcasting Company causing her family to fall apart

then she got fucked in the ass by a black dude with a huge cock

I rewatched pink flamingos recently when I bought the criterion, still the best LGBT representation out there. If you want a hilarious movie with just the right amount of flaccid incest bjs, fresh dog shit eating, rape dungeons and of course chicken you can't go wrong with pink flamingos. Remember to pair it with some nice chocolate ice-cream when watching the ending

How do we defeat the feminazi swine?

We build a shopping mall and appeal to their baser instincts. It worked for the ancient Gauls after all.

You must cast smoked paprika on them

You can placate a women's arrogance by showing her a slice of cheese.

the entire world needs to learn our compassionate ways through unrelenting cruelty

I'm here to hate on you and debate abortion, and you're just talking about impregnating me?

 

[Something Awful]

 

[Jacknife]

This is becoming quite the autistic thread. Maybe I can fix this by posting more about my love for feces and rape.