random_text.txt

[Gentlebastard]

It's like watching a pavement roller get rolled out by an even bigger pavement roller.

I do find it comical that your options now include Freddy Krueger, Sadako, the Xenomorph, or a Shaniqua with a shitbull. All equal levels of terrifying lol

Tl;dr: please take a 1-way trip to the Congo and burn your passports it would be so fucking funny.

This senseless tragedy has been brought to you by our sponsors at lolcow dot farm.

those damn nuclear trucks just look too fucking juicy for their own safety and highwaymen can't resist their allure

If you're going to show us /pol/ schizoposting, at least thumbnail it.

A little bit of radioactivity is okay, as a treat.

Awesome, I have to delete more social media accounts and this will give me the drive to do so.

"do not eat the glow in the dark sparkle powder!"

You aren't a doctor. Don't tell me what to do.

I can't believe nobody wanted rat bagels.

That boy will wreck anyone's shit for a baconator.

"I have decades of experience identifying planes in the sky"

Yes, I know I do this too well. Yes I am concerned.

He will seriously look at a picture of Trump in an armchair and smugly think to himself ‘you know who else used to sit in chairs?’

"Well you only stabbed him a little bit, so we're going to let you go with a warning."

Hey I never said anything about Buck Breaking. That's not a fetish, that's a storied southern tradition.

"This isn't a political position this is literally just your fetish and I know for a fact you were jerking off while typing this post."

If they weren't meant to be bullied, then why is it so fun to bully them? lol.

Always good to have more details about this delightful Hell on Earth.

Either way the exposed testicle is key.

furries are never cockroaches, naked moles rats, proboscis monkeys, tapirs, or bacteriophage escherichia virus T4s

I said it before and I'll say it again: Every anti-natalist that hasn't killed himself yet is just a poser

 

[Buttz McSmellington]

I went to bed every night wishing I woke up with cancer

 

[Dr. Butt]

SEETHE YOU BRICK-HEADED CHOONK

"Thank you trannies for threatening to skin and eat my wife and children, I have now completely changed my mind about thinking you are mentally ill and now think you are totally normal!"

 

[chalkyresidue]

Bro he’s standing right there

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

Stare too deeply in lolcows and you will eventually become one...

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

As an experienced rancher who has a herd of one housecat, I believe the solution is for the government to give me massive payouts and subsidies so that I can ranch my herd more sustainably. It is very upsetting when my herd eats grass from my growing field and throws it up on the good rug.

I could perhaps double the size of my herd with such subsidies to two heads of cat, and do so in an environmentally friendly manner while protecting the integrity of the good rug.

Billionaires are playing with a money scheme backed by technolovecraftian magic (he doesn't understand crypto) that will financially unify the world's most evil Russian supervillains (he watched some Austin Powers movies while hungover) into a concrete fascist overthrow of liberalism for eternity. It's here and now that you must HOLD THE LINE (tweet about Trump looking like the bad guy from Back to the Future) or else all is lost. RESIST. REBEL. FIGHT. BACK.

 

[Diggus Bickus]

all of this could have been avoided if only we banned europeans from the internet

imagine what that world would look like

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Imagine being so useless in bed and so useless as a husband that you get cucked by pixels on a screen. What's next, Nick gets cucked by ChatGPT?

@Sketchy Minecraft Mod

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

I love when a post actually makes me laugh for a few minutes.

If you had a tiny clone of null would you torture it

 

[Diggus Bickus]

You’re the dumbest blackest gorilla nigger on earth.

@UERISIMILITUDO Same

 

[neger psykolog]

dsp's self-proclaimed top detractor being a fucking train robber will never not be hilarious

 

[Oliver Onions]

make a van life channel on YouTube and cook your Coca Cola eggs in your van.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Hey Ching Bong, GOOD LUCK FINDING OUT WHO I AM.

 

[Gentlebastard]

shame on any janny who thumbnails these. some images simply must be experienced full-size, full resolution

he closes his eyes and juts his tongue out into the cloaca of whatever sandwich he's eating

Pooners' impulse to run home and write "dear diary" after something bad happens to them is one of the funniest things ever to me.

O brave new sneed, that has such retards in 't.

"I feel like there is heavy focus on penises in gay spaces."

Have any of them had sex that was consensual?

I do not jack off to gooks.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

Without an orchestrated conspiracy, 19 year olds would be staying up to read Evola, not masturbate to jiggling boobs

 

[Stalker Cell]

those christcucks are burning in hell because skibidi farms has better content

Later:

I can explain by luck i happened to be lurking in that very thread and saw that post coming from this old account of mine which they hacked somehow, i was able to recover ownership of it and edited the post

 

[LurkTrawl]

"Police are urging the public not to approach the 'Dangerous Bathroom Bills' should they encounter them."

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

If you suck just one dick, once, you're gay.

 

[Cool Dog Returns]

There is no more oddly satisfying an exercise of one's 2A as shooting a shitbull

 

[mindlessobserver]

Well, that wasn't smart, Russ.