random_text.txt

[stupid frog]

>No appendages besides penis
>cut it off anyway
Jesus Christ

 

[Gog & Magog]

I used to work on a big website and we had a home improvement board, there was a guy on there who tried to come up with a cheap way to make foreskin stretching devices he could give away for free at college. I watched him evolve that product for 8+ years and when 3D printing came out, he bought eight of them and printed foreskin stretching starter kits he handed out at big campus meetings. He was VERY angry about his foreskin.

- @Mushroom King

 

[Clyde Cash's Left Teste]

This is our most recent list of all quotes.

What's the current list of all quotes?

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Wait, isn’t this the thread where some poo posted his tiny Indian cock?

 

[Dr. Butt]

Assume every public surface has been fucked, bled, and pooped on, no exceptions.

 

[Dr. Butt]

the CEO of Kiwi Farms

 

[Aunt Carol]

Do you happen to like trains? They practically hand friends out for free if you volunteer for a train club or railroad. I can’t keep track of all of the people my family knows through train stuff.

I would like a heart-shaped autism react because it's hard to pick sometimes

 

[Rotollo 2]

Here is a question I want to ask: Do you think underage sex in games is woke?

 

[PhoBingas]

I've seen art of sandy cheeks, an animated Texan squirrel who lives under the ocean, is a genius scientist and karate expert who's best friend with a talking sponge, as a gaint vacuuming cars into her ginormous cock as people run in terror. I for fucking sure didn't create that in my subconscious or weird mind construction, reality is just to fucking nuts to be some abstraction or simulation.

 

[Windy Moors]

Where are you from? Do you need a Croissant suit, a Pretzel suit or a Waffle suit?

 

[Puar]

15 years old shouldn't be considered too young.

 

[Idiot Asshole]

(link)

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

@Down

 

[Gentlebastard]

I have this joke that Jack is actually faking all of this. Because no one could possibly be this stupid. I mean, I know he IS that stupid. My brain is just so desperate to understand how and why he persists that a part of me hopes there's a flash drive somewhere connected to his heartbeat, so that when he dies a video gets uploaded to his channel that shows him sitting in front of a fireplace, fingers tented, admitting this was all performance art.

Look, if you want something sometimes you’ve gotta bend the rules and put yourself out there to stand out. That’s why I’m here around the back side of the house with a crowbar to pry open windows so I can crawl in and explain.

Every time I think he can't get any stupider he somehow perseveres. This has to be the top. Surely it's all downhill from here, right? It can't get worse.

Quite frankly if I can't have sex with Mansa Musa in a synagogue I'm not buying it.

Don't be a fag. Stand on your own ideals and values.

FULLY AUTOMATIC ASSAULT FUNKO POPS

Being nigger rich isn’t about the amount of money, it’s about the nigger.

And why the fuck I do know about our gypsies so much?

"How has being on the autistic spectrum influenced your love on cock"
"It has became my special interest"

Non-white women love racist white men.

That would be useful information to have if I were slightly less racist.

There, I made my cat sperging political.

I'm anti-straw in general. You grip your drink with your big boy hands and put it to your mouth, going "AHHHHWWWyeahh" with each gulp.

 

[CaddestSlown]

Watch out, lest your bun be squashed

I got a six incher and a bag of chips from Subway.

There has to be a more tasteful way of admitting Jared Vogel raped you.

OMG FATPACKS HIIIIII

Bring back American masculinity. No dick-sucking lips of straws. Even bitches can take a big glup, pop off the top, chug that shit and slam on the table getting syrup specks everywhere while saying "Ughngff". If you use a straw, you might as well put a dick in your mouth and one in your ass, faggot.

Sorry, I legally have to use a silly faggy little bendy straw while kicking my feet on my hanna montana bed and blaring pop songs and reading a magazine about the latest fashion and how prince harry was impregnated by his wife.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Trannies love fantasizing in their polycules like theyre a bunch of teenage girls exploring their sexuality and having a sapphic anal in the ass sex

 

[Windy Moors]

Bex Gerber on Bluesky Feb 7, 2025:

"KiwiFarms literally has a kill count in their header"

Spoiler: Source

Original post
Bex thread
2026 will mark the 10th anniversary of Gerber's thread on Kiwi Farms.

 

[The Punished Mitch]

View attachment 6955640

If you find yourself in a fat bitch pussy just remember it's because you're broke

 

[Cybertonia]

Instead of "buy our extended VHS library of esoteric jelqing techniques at 4 easy payments of $99.99" now it's "download our app and for $9.99 a month we'll teach you how to turn your dick into a balloon animal to impress that clussy you've been chasing".

 

[Brain Power]

listen to the god of rape
he knows what he's talking about

and don't try to convince him.
otherwise he'll turn into the god of consent