random_text.txt

[NyQuilninja]

Is this why Popeye's wouldn't give me any cocktail sauce for my shrimp?

Because that was my Vietnam.

Time to quit my job and be an online snitch

Social Credit System with Western characteristics.

Have heard before that you fight a black, play dead with a brown. When I’m in the woods alone, I always try to make noise: stomp my feet, cough, whistle. Just can’t imagine getting into any kind of wrestling match with a bear. What are you supposed to do? Poke their eyes out?

I have a deep and abiding phobia of bears. So, I torture myself reading accounts of gruesome bear attacks. This one in particular stuck in my mind:

Drama in Real Life: Rogue Bear on the Rampage

A tragic true story of heroism in the face of horror from the Reader's Digest archives, originally published in 1999.

www.readersdigest.ca

In all seriousness, I try to avoid backcountry trips when I’m on the rag.

My friend simulator appears to be malfunctioning

Hypothesis: like ten retards show up and they all have rough buttsex in a alleyway with some bored feds before making a semi-loud scene at a old Chicago then going home.

Unsure whether the mountain lion/manlet sperging is better or worse than the gun sperging, but good fucking god we have a lot of autists in this thread.

You two should fuck already.

When do we start talking about radioactive alpacas fighting against heavily armed mountain lions?

 

[The Un-Clit]

a skitzocow said:

The fourth terror assassin had been cut in the head and neck area, and was choking while walking away with a Walmart escort from the Walmart Service Counter.

After that, I had to ring up the four banana’s I wanted on a separate receipt.

It's a shame StoneMan is most likely gonna die of sepsis before he can grace us with too many more tales of epic swordfights with Canadian terror soldiers at WalMart and destroying his neighbors who are fogging the air with nitrous oxide by flicking his bic.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Niggerkike is my preferred pronoun. Also I am hard of hearing so make sure you say it very loudly each time you refer to me.

 

[NyQuilninja]

A bear on the tranch is better than an amhole in the house.

Confucius

 

[KiwiFuzz]

If you see padded pews or people kneeling or playing tambourines GTFO quick.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

So there I was, minding my own straight business and balls deep in the sweet ass of the chap I just met at the sportsbar and I realize this faggot is gay! In my rage I strangled him to death while coming harder than I ever had before. Please acquit!

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Personally, if I had the Unabomber as a relative, I wouldn't have turned him in.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Being a troon is a choice. No one forced you to cut your dick off and call yourself Barbara.

I really can't imagine anything more disturbing than an old man body with big ol porn titties on it. It would be like a rotten fish carcass with a chocolate in the middle. No matter how good that chocolate is, you aint gonna want it.

 

[Pee Cola]

Pronouns are the anime avatars of the Left.

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

Is Jack Dorsey hiding a peanut in his skinny jeans? It would explain a lot.

 

[Antipathy]

Didn't have to read past the headline to know why this garlic-munching crypto-jew nigger can't wrap his head around the idea on why the sky isn't falling:

Nope. Pronouns in bios are the best way to immediately recognize mentally unstable people you do not want to interact with.
Pronouns are the anime avatars of the Left.

I'm sure it was better than now, people accuse me of too much nostalgia but the past was simply better, that's all there is to it, people get defensive and give me shit because it's a tough pill to swallow and I get that, but it's still true.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

the only side effect of a large heart is understanding the true meaning of christmas

 

[Antipathy]

So now the pillow is covered in grease as well as his jizz.

At this point I think the UN Declaration of human rights need to be scrapped and thrown in the dustbin.

 

[NyQuilninja]

My God I swear I have houseplants that are smarter than Lou.

Courtesy of pol
>Well Mr. your blood pressure is 260/180, 90% blocked arteries and an enlarged heart.
>We also fount fent, meth and several other drugs in your system along with a gallon of semen in your digestive tract.
>No no treatment is necessary, just avoid the police and you will live a long healthy life.

 

[Mal0]

I'm starting to think this whole trans thing is some kind of coordinated attack against the blind.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

"I honestly feel really bad for her. Sure, she may be a bit entitled, but that does not compare to the amount of harassment she has received, which also brought Kiwi Farms to our world."

"Me: I don't watch the news anymore, when something big happens Kiwi Farms usually gets to the truth of it the fastest. My mom: Oh cool, I'll check it out. Me: Wait"

"isn't kiwi\\farms basically just 4chan....I've literally seen full threads of them advocating for g3noc!de and calling people slurs for just existing"

"LOL, dude I'd trust kiwifarms with my autistic 12 year old child than I would kero with my dog dude at least they'd just bully my kid"

"Honestly, one of the things I regret so much that i did when I was younger was read on a drama site called Kiwifarms it fucked up my views on gender/sexuality for like- a long time"

 

[Antipathy]

If he wasn't a cardiologist, he'd probably be working for the school board, trying to inject your son with estrogen.

He had an outstanding felony disorderly conduct

Women ruinig everything is always relevant

Seriously, why can't people like this just off themselves? I truly feel nothing but disgust and hatred for people like this. If you're so worthless and unworthy just dive into some concrete from 30 feet, tired of hearing about your aggrandizing moralizations for your cuckoldry.

 

[Meat Target]

Don't say it with a hard R, thats our word

the unoffensive versiona is 'Gama'

 

[NyQuilninja]

why do black people have the weirdest and dumbest names????

THIS ISTHEBESTTRIALIHAVEEVERSEEN!

"Child molestation prevention"... how exactly do you do that? Just don't molest children, and kill anyone who does.

maybe its a good thing all the trannies are taking women jobs

I don't want the smell of melting dilators on my s'mores.

In America, the criminals are plentiful and the cops are incompetent.

Only takes one flaming Alpaca to get loose to the neighbors.

anyone who uses twitter isn't human

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

You cut a slit at the base of the scrotes under the penile shaft, pop them out, and sew it up. If the patient REALLY wanted, it can be done with local anaesthesia. Understandably, this option is unpopular.