Resident Evil - Virgin Vampire Wine Mom vs Chad Magnetic Lebowski

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Been watching the remake of Resident Evil lately, and boy those giant snakes and spiders didn't age well. For one, how would they be contained in a mansion like this? It's huge, granted, but they're even bigger. For two, if they escaped(which is more than likely) then how the fuck would Umbrella deal with this situation? They might just hide and god forbid, breed, otherwise they would invade local population centers. Cameras weren't everywhere in 1998, but if someone did take a photo or video of the attack? Good luck covering that up! It took a nuke to shut Raccoon City down and you could explain zombies away as schizos or homeless or something. There is no covering up a tarantula the size of a car or a huge snake.

I think monsters/mutants, or BOWs in other words, work a whole lot better than this generic house of horrors nonsense, especially if they're self contained to one part of the world like Las Plagas
 
Been watching the remake of Resident Evil lately, and boy those giant snakes and spiders didn't age well. For one, how would they be contained in a mansion like this? It's huge, granted, but they're even bigger. For two, if they escaped(which is more than likely) then how the fuck would Umbrella deal with this situation? They might just hide and god forbid, breed, otherwise they would invade local population centers. Cameras weren't everywhere in 1998, but if someone did take a photo or video of the attack? Good luck covering that up! It took a nuke to shut Raccoon City down and you could explain zombies away as schizos or homeless or something. There is no covering up a tarantula the size of a car or a huge snake.

I think monsters/mutants, or BOWs in other words, work a whole lot better than this generic house of horrors nonsense, especially if they're self contained to one part of the world like Las Plagas
All of those things were in resident evil 6. There were giant invisible snakes in China, death sharks chasing you in the endless water slide to China, John Bolton turned into a big fly, dudes were turning into chickens and spiders and shit all the damn time. I think people in the RE world accepted by the 80s that you could maybe turn into a tarantula or something and that this was where science was taking us
 
All of those things were in resident evil 6. There were giant invisible snakes in China, death sharks chasing you in the endless water slide to China, John Bolton turned into a big fly, dudes were turning into chickens and spiders and shit all the damn time. I think people in the RE world accepted by the 80s that you could maybe turn into a tarantula or something and that this was where science was taking us
I would rather pretend RE6 and forward simply didn't happen, but you're right people in the RE universe must be living charmed lives with what horrors beyond human comprehension are released on regular bases there. I guess giant snakes or spiders won't be far fetched, but remember we're talking about RE1 here. This was before zombies and BOWs became public knowledge, it was an unnecessary risk by Umbrella.
In a way, Dead Rising(another horror IP from Capcom) kinda shows what I expect civilian life to look in that universe, with DR2 having a gameshow themed around killing all the leftover zombies, there being a horribly expensive drug to stop the virus temporarily that you have to take for the rest of your life, and DR3 showing how the government shut down all manners of freedom of speech and started invading privacy of individuals using the infected as an excuse(there were cameras on every street corner like in UK and everyone who was infected had to have a tracking microchip inserted ,if I recall). Shame we don't actually get to see how all the outbreaks effected much of the population after the events of the games.
 
That said, it's kinda funny to speculate how the Raccoon City incident would have been kept under wraps even just a decade later. The amount of media, especially horror, that would be absolutely fucked by the advent and spread of mobile phones is hilarious. I understand nobody can really predict how fast technology advances, but still.

I remember one of the Deus Ex writers saying how remaking the game would just highlight how dated a ton of the "futuristic" setting is, and how quickly it happened. Short of the nano-augmentation, modern technology has actually surpassed a lot of what was in that story!
 
I would rather pretend RE6 and forward simply didn't happen, but you're right people in the RE universe must be living charmed lives with what horrors beyond human comprehension are released on regular bases there. I guess giant snakes or spiders won't be far fetched, but remember we're talking about RE1 here. This was before zombies and BOWs became public knowledge, it was an unnecessary risk by Umbrella.
In a way, Dead Rising(another horror IP from Capcom) kinda shows what I expect civilian life to look in that universe, with DR2 having a gameshow themed around killing all the leftover zombies, there being a horribly expensive drug to stop the virus temporarily that you have to take for the rest of your life, and DR3 showing how the government shut down all manners of freedom of speech and started invading privacy of individuals using the infected as an excuse(there were cameras on every street corner like in UK and everyone who was infected had to have a tracking microchip inserted ,if I recall). Shame we don't actually get to see how all the outbreaks effected much of the population after the events of the games.
We'd probably think of the RE heroes as shitlibs trying to keep us from doing cool shit like turning everyone into africa slightly more zombielike or getting CHK-virus megachickens for dinner. They're all glowies and probably in on it. Claire is an NGO shitlib, and you know Redfield used to work for Wesker? I call bullshit that he's not in on it. Oh and now he's working FOR UMBRELLA?

also seriously what was the point of the mansion again, I never quite understood like why any of it happened exactly, why draw them to a spookytown manor if wesker was right there with guns and lots of opportunities
 
The entirety of revelations 2.
and later, a crooked TerraSave manager who was formerly an employee for the Feds' bioterrorism agency which had its head outed and arrested for the events of the first Revelations game basically caused the events of Revelations 2 to happen.

Again, TerraSave was just a scapegoat on that one.

I remember one of the Deus Ex writers saying how remaking the game would just highlight how dated a ton of the "futuristic" setting is, and how quickly it happened. Short of the nano-augmentation, modern technology has actually surpassed a lot of what was in that story!
Not true. We don't still have nanoaugmentation that allows me to lift a vending machine whenever I please.

But also, that's why the remakes have at least been keeping themselves era appropriate.
 
also seriously what was the point of the mansion again, I never quite understood like why any of it happened exactly, why draw them to a spookytown manor if wesker was right there with guns and lots of opportunities
The mansion was a testing ground for Umbrellas troops I believe, an obstacle course. I am guessing they wanted more test subjects from the outside, and STARS were perfect since they were nearby.

That said, it's kinda funny to speculate how the Raccoon City incident would have been kept under wraps even just a decade later. The amount of media, especially horror, that would be absolutely fucked by the advent and spread of mobile phones is hilarious. I understand nobody can really predict how fast technology advances, but still.
Speaking of Dead Rising, 4(the bad one) hand waves the zombie outbreak being under wraps as "Satellite imagery not being updated and a jammer blocking phone signal/wifi". Bullshit, since all you would need would be someone to bring their phone outside the range and upload photos/videos and stage some interviews with podcasters these days, but I guess this could work for a horror story in a vacuum.
 
All of those things were in resident evil 6. There were giant invisible snakes in China, death sharks chasing you in the endless water slide to China, John Bolton turned into a big fly, dudes were turning into chickens and spiders and shit all the damn time. I think people in the RE world accepted by the 80s that you could maybe turn into a tarantula or something and that this was where science was taking us
The RE world is honestly fascinating with how much weird shit they manage to do with people's bodies. Going beyond buff super soldiers and giant tarantulas, you've got leeches that can perfectly mimic a human being down to their memories, mold that can do the same and more, psychics, medical spray that and herbs that can heal puncture and slash wounds and the ability of major organizations to basically turn a zombie apocalypse on and off with a switch. I would love a far future stealth sequel to Resident evil because the weird shit you'd see being commonplace would be an amazing concept.
 
The RE world is honestly fascinating with how much weird shit they manage to do with people's bodies. Going beyond buff super soldiers and giant tarantulas, you've got leeches that can perfectly mimic a human being down to their memories, mold that can do the same and more, psychics, medical spray that and herbs that can heal puncture and slash wounds and the ability of major organizations to basically turn a zombie apocalypse on and off with a switch. I would love a far future stealth sequel to Resident evil because the weird shit you'd see being commonplace would be an amazing concept.
Yeah the twist that Ethan was the mold the whole time and that's why he was able to do what the game conditioned us to think was kind of just what happened off screen when you "used" an herb felt super unearned to me. I watched all 8 of the playable retards in 6 shrug off gunshots by popping some herbal tictacs made in their pockets. Leon doesn't give a fuck about crossbows to the dome if you've got some bactine, so why wouldn't you be able to staple arms back on if you had some rubbing alcohol handy?
 
Been watching the remake of Resident Evil lately, and boy those giant snakes and spiders didn't age well. For one, how would they be contained in a mansion like this? It's huge, granted, but they're even bigger. For two, if they escaped(which is more than likely) then how the fuck would Umbrella deal with this situation? They might just hide and god forbid, breed, otherwise they would invade local population centers. Cameras weren't everywhere in 1998, but if someone did take a photo or video of the attack? Good luck covering that up! It took a nuke to shut Raccoon City down and you could explain zombies away as schizos or homeless or something. There is no covering up a tarantula the size of a car or a huge snake.

I think monsters/mutants, or BOWs in other words, work a whole lot better than this generic house of horrors nonsense, especially if they're self contained to one part of the world like Las Plagas
The snakes and the spiders weren't actually intended as B.O.W.s, they got infected when the virus broke out.

Now, the sharks were created as B.O.W.s, but in the game there was a file explaining how those things were actually useless and with nothing special about them.
The Hunters were the only real breakthrough apart from the Tyrant.
 
also seriously what was the point of the mansion again, I never quite understood like why any of it happened exactly, why draw them to a spookytown manor if wesker was right there with guns and lots of opportunities

The mansion was a testing ground for Umbrellas troops I believe, an obstacle course. I am guessing they wanted more test subjects from the outside, and STARS were perfect since they were nearby.
The mansion was a cover for the lab underneath. Not really a testing ground for troops, but for the effectiveness of the B.O.W.s.

The snakes and the spiders weren't actually intended as B.O.W.s, they got infected when the virus broke out.
The Web Spinners and Yawn were intended to be weapons to be B.O.W.s, but the spiders proved disappointing and Yawn escaped it's enclosure when the mansion fell into chaos.

The other spiders you encounter outside of the facility were unintended.
 
Been watching the remake of Resident Evil lately, and boy those giant snakes and spiders didn't age well. For one, how would they be contained in a mansion like this? It's huge, granted, but they're even bigger. For two, if they escaped(which is more than likely) then how the fuck would Umbrella deal with this situation? They might just hide and god forbid, breed, otherwise they would invade local population centers. Cameras weren't everywhere in 1998, but if someone did take a photo or video of the attack? Good luck covering that up! It took a nuke to shut Raccoon City down and you could explain zombies away as schizos or homeless or something. There is no covering up a tarantula the size of a car or a huge snake.

I think monsters/mutants, or BOWs in other words, work a whole lot better than this generic house of horrors nonsense, especially if they're self contained to one part of the world like Las Plagas
Although I like most of the latter games in the series, the fact that Capcom made so many sequels taking place in/around Raccoon City prior to the nuke kind of hurt the "Umbrella was able to conceal this" plot thread. Like I could see the STARS team escaping and not saying much about it to the public since they're a paramilitary law enforcement group and they're trying to address it themselves and don't want Umbrella aware of what and exactly how much they know, but in Outbreak Files 1 and 2 for example, it's sort of canon that the entire cast of the game escapes. That's a lot of fucking people escaping, not counting any other unseen people who got out of the city before or after, and they're all civilians [with the exception of Kevin and Yoko, the latter whom IIRC worked for Umbrella] and would have no reason nor desire to not spill the beans to everyone within earshot for the rest of their lives. If any of them escaped with photographic evidence or video tapes, they'd really be fucked. The whole plot is that the city's government and law enforcement is corrupt as fuck but that wouldn't stop the county, state or federal government from coming down on them like a lightning bolt. In most of the games you see helicopters leaving with other people aboard, so there are more people that would have to be accounted for.

It does require quite a lot of suspension of disbelief especially considering that you see in most of the games, there are news reports on the television about what's going on there. Sure you could handwave it away as "those are just local news channels nobody outside of the city can see it" but assuming they're broadcasting via regular transmission towers people outside of the city could see it. I don't recall now what the canon explanation to the general public was for an entire town just being fucking totally gone but people would be asking questions about that too. People who had families there, people who lived there but were out of town at the time, people who worked there, etc. I'd presume the RE universe also has internet schizoposters who would be trying to figure it out. The radioactive fallout of dropping that many fucking nukes in one zip code would be pretty problematic for anyone remotely nearby, too.

It was also always odd to me how the U.B.C.S teams all had the Umbrella logo proudly emblazoned on their BDUs, all it'd take is one person to escape having spotted those guys releasing a Tyrant or offing survivors or blowing shit up and a lot of castigation would be on Umbrella since they are very obviously working for Umbrella.

Once you start pulling at some of the threads a lot of the stuff around the Raccoon City outbreak starts to unravel, though I think most of it is likely because they obviously had no real way of knowing how many games they'd be making set in this universe and they got better about it later. Then again I guess if it were more believable us online RE spergs couldn't have fun dissecting it so there's that.
 
Once you start pulling at some of the threads a lot of the stuff around the Raccoon City outbreak starts to unravel, though I think most of it is likely because they obviously had no real way of knowing how many games they'd be making set in this universe and they got better about it later. Then again I guess if it were more believable us online RE spergs couldn't have fun dissecting it so there's that.
I recall the government handwaving the whole Racoon outbreak before the nuke as some sort of virus or disease spreading through the city, but keeping the whole flesh-eating zombie thing under wraps. That's why it was cordoned off. Except for that one highway Leon was on. That one didn't need guards.
 
The Web Spinners and Yawn were intended to be weapons to be B.O.W.s, but the spiders proved disappointing and Yawn escaped it's enclosure when the mansion fell into chaos.
Is this mentioned somewhere in the game or the lore?

BTW I realized just now that the enemy roster of the first name was very basic, just giant animals and zombies. Pretty much the only original creatures are the Hunters, the Chimeras and the Tyrant. And maybe the plant.
 
You got to wonder what the plan for Resident Evil 5 was after RE4's grand success. The early drafts interest me, there was going to be not just a day/night cycle but you would have to hide in the shade during the day for example. The co-op ruined everything to be honest, the awful turret section across savanna would have taken place on foot and the temple section would have been a more puzzle heavy environment but both were cut due to co-op. It really shows the wasted potential in the game, there is nothing but shooting in the final game, along with babysitting your teammate if you're playing solo and that takes out all the nuance the game could have had without a partner. They really should have just focused on a single player campaign with an optional co-op one if they were that invested in it.
Speaking of which, I think the game drops off after the initial village section. Once you kill Irving and go to the caves, that's when the game takes a shit. The entire game should have just been Chris' and Sheva's wild African nigger safari, the atmosphere at the beginning of the game was top notch. Latter half? "Generic" is the only thing that comes to mind, at least Wesker is finally dealt with so the story can be concluded right here if you don't care about the other games.
I think this theme for the loadout screen/shop really summarizes what I think about this game: Really mixed feelings, a lot of "what could have beens" but ultimately the atmosphere and the gameplay keep you engaged even thru the bad parts.


I haven't actually played the Merc mode yet, which I've seen a lot of people praising. I completed it in Resident Evil 4...mobile, yet to do it in the proper PC/Console release. I've also seen that Revelations(1/2) and RE6 have great Merc modes, so I guess I am saving those for a rainy day.
 
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For two, if they escaped(which is more than likely) then how the fuck would Umbrella deal with this situation? They might just hide and god forbid, breed, otherwise they would invade local population centers. Cameras weren't everywhere in 1998, but if someone did take a photo or video of the attack? Good luck covering that up!
Reports of weird shit was the reason STARS shows up at the mansion in the first game.
 
Reports of weird shit was the reason STARS shows up at the mansion in the first game.
Disappearances and murders, sure. I don't recall there being reports of giant spiders and snakes that drew them in.
That whole plotpoint is really stupid when you think about it, but it strangely fits with the atmosphere of the first game, the "haunted mansion" vibe it was going for. It's only now with the other games and the world more established that it looks really weird.
 
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