Resident Evil - Virgin Vampire Wine Mom vs Chad Magnetic Lebowski

[Dom Cruise]

The problem is that the games never, you know, address it. We are just to assume that ALL of them never intend on having any children and to just live their lives fighting this endless fight against bio-terrorism. I wish they would just have them say it so we dont have these questions lingering in our heads. It could show that Chris, for as good as he is, is far too broken and shaped by past traumas to truly settle down...he accepted that this is his fate and he will do it until he dies, either from natural causes or his luck finally running out. RE6 offered such a perfect way of retiring his character, they didnt have to never make him playable again but just show that he is aware there is more to life than just fighting non stop and he needs to spend the rest of his life doing something more fulfilling (he doesnt even have to settle down...honestly he was kind of getting too old for that even in RE 6).

Dont even get me started on the ladies....especially since age usually hits them harder. It blows me away because they kind of have even less excuse than the men for not settling down, since most of them have less active roles like Claire and Rebecca. I can maybe imagine Jill has the same mentality as Chris and I honestly have no idea what goes through Leon's head...Im starting to realise why they just wont show them because there is no way they wouldnt have any visible gray hairs.

Barry is the only one that seems to adknowledge he isnt as young as he used to be (he was already a man of age in RE 1/3)

Think of it this way, if you encountered things like zombies and giant spiders in real life wouldn't you be too traumatized to ever really be able to live a normal life afterward? If people can get really wrecked by PTSD from real life wars, imagine the PTSD from encountering monsters from your nightmares.

I’m wondering why Claire’s personality changed so much in revelations 2. She goes from loving kids to interrogating them lmfao.

Maybe the events of Code Veronica made her a hardass? Imagine surviving the events of 2 only to have to go through it all over again a second time.

So much for claiming it was a complete game. Still, I'm tentatively excited after how good 7's DLC was. If they're smart they'll give us more content of the lords.

I thought Not a Hero was kind of lame, but End of Zoe was cool, there's something very funny about putting up your dukes and punching the monsters in a RE game.

So I ended up watching the 2002 movie for shits and giggles and you know what? I enjoyed it. Oh im sure it goes downhill from here, but for an early 2000's videogame movie its not half bad. They got a lot more right then I expected with the sets and designs. The umbrella security team was cool, the setup was fun. If you squint it could theoretically exist with the games if you ignore the sequels.

Their original intention was that the movie was actually supposed to be in the same exact continuity as the games, but they threw that out the window with the sequels.

All I remember is Alice waking up in the morgue. She's wearing a 'bedsheet' so skimpy, you have to wonder why they bothered covering her at all. She grabs a coat but leaves it open, with Trader Joe's paper towels covering her cooch.

View attachment 2263085

The script feels as though it was written by a teenage horny illiterate geek.

Can't you actually see Milia's vagina when she wakes up near the end? At least that's how teenage me remembers it.

Teenage me also enjoyed seeing Milia do more nudity in the Samuel L Jackson movie No Good Deed lol.

The ending was great, not gonna lie. The theme song synching with the cock of the shotgun was an amazing touch.

Oh yeah, it was a legit cool ending.

There's just something cool about a scene where a character wakes up only to find that the shit has absolutely hit the fan, like the start of 28 Days Later.

 

[12345]

All I remember is Alice waking up in the morgue. She's wearing a 'bedsheet' so skimpy, you have to wonder why they bothered covering her at all. She grabs a coat but leaves it open, with Trader Joe's paper towels covering her cooch.

View attachment 2263085

The script feels as though it was written by a teenage horny illiterate geek.

Oh yeah, Anderson was suffering from "Look at my hot wife." syndrome before they were even married. That's why I suggested the version with nipple if you could find it, because she did go two nipples the next movie and then they got married and they were suddenly absent from the series.

 

[Michael Wade]

Can't you actually see Milia's vagina when she wakes up near the end? At least that's how teenage me remembers it.

Teenage me also enjoyed seeing Milia do more nudity in the Samuel L Jackson movie No Good Deed lol.

All I remember is Alice waking up in the morgue. She's wearing a 'bedsheet' so skimpy, you have to wonder why they bothered covering her at all. She grabs a coat but leaves it open, with Trader Joe's paper towels covering her cooch.

View attachment 2263085

The script feels as though it was written by a teenage horny illiterate geek.

I wasnt closely examining her, but the beginning and end were pretty dam thin on clothing for a few moments. Thought the movie was tasteful all things considered, as Ive seen worse.

 

[Soycast Guy]

Maybe the events of Code Veronica made her a hardass? Imagine surviving the events of 2 only to have to go through it all over again a second time.

There was the movie degeneration which showed her good with kids like in RE2, and that takes place 7 years after the events of raccoon city and Rockfort island. So either the effects just hit her much later, or the writers forgot what Claire’s personality was.

 

[Kurtis Trent]

Chris in DBD leak

 

[The Fair Lady]

I thought Not a Hero was kind of lame, but End of Zoe was cool, there's something very funny about putting up your dukes and punching the monsters in a RE game

Not a Hero focused on Chris, of course it was the weakest of the bunch. Everything else was pretty solid though.

 

[Soycast Guy]

I knew I was thinking of something all day and I remember. Remember these motherfuckers from not a hero? View attachment CBA23DA0-A269-4970-BE08-6A45A9E39E0A.webp

 

[Michael Wade]

So I just saw resident evil Apocalypse... Holy shit. I had an absolute blast but wow. It's basically resident evil meets bollywood in how over the top the action and set pieces are. Absurd, but delightfully campy.


It is still grounded up to a point with the secondary characters and villains, but when alice shows up all fucking bets are off. I love how in her first appearance she just randomly drives a bike though a stain glass window to save Jill, with no way of knowing she was in there. Just doing all kinds of crazy stunts because she's somehow immune and augmented to the T virus.

Jill was pretty good, really dug her performance and attitude. She had a decent chunk of screen time but was obviously playing second fiddle to Alice.

Alice isn't in every scene, but she is basically the fucking terminator in this. Showing up to conveniently save everybody's ass with absurd amounts of weaponry and bullets. I thought she was fun, less opportunity's to seriously act then the first one, but I enjoyed her performance for what it was. Completely steals scenes from the opening of code veronica, not to mention she gets ALL the ship teasing with carlos. She's pretty hot so ill allow it, but it is borderline fanfic.


Nemesis was cute. They did their best with him and he looks correct, but you can tell he can barely move in that fucking thing. Especially when they decide to have a fucking fist fight between him and Alice. Ending fight was such a delightful canon films style clusterfuck battle. The fights were all pretty dam fun.


Im sure a lot of the neck breaker moves and kicks in the cemetery scene seemed absurd on release, but it actually lines up with some of the finishers in the games. These movies must have inspired at least RE 5-6 to a degree.


One unexpected pleasure in this move was the inclusion of based blackman LJ. I enjoyed watching this random pimp and his gold plated pistols fucking around before teaming up with the heroes. Its a silly film, but It reminds me of a canon films movie and I cant give it shit for that.

 

[Dom Cruise]

Oh yeah, Anderson was suffering from "Look at my hot wife." syndrome before they were even married. That's why I suggested the version with nipple if you could find it, because she did go two nipples the next movie and then they got married and they were suddenly absent from the series.

I wonder if he seethes over the fact that she showed her ass in No Good Deed, although that movie is really obscure.

There was the movie degeneration which showed her good with kids like in RE2, and that takes place 7 years after the events of raccoon city and Rockfort island. So either the effects just hit her much later, or the writers forgot what Claire’s personality was.

Maybe it was just age? That time of the month during the events of Revelations 2?

So I just saw resident evil Apocalypse... Holy shit. I had an absolute blast but wow. It's basically resident evil meets bollywood in how over the top the action and set pieces are. Absurd, but delightfully campy.


It is still grounded up to a point with the secondary characters and villains, but when alice shows up all fucking bets are off. I love how in her first appearance she just randomly drives a bike though a stain glass window to save Jill, with no way of knowing she was in there. Just doing all kinds of crazy stunts because she's somehow immune and augmented to the T virus.

Jill was pretty good, really dug her performance and attitude. She had a decent chunk of screen time but was obviously playing second fiddle to Alice.

Alice isn't in every scene, but she is basically the fucking terminator in this. Showing up to conveniently save everybody's ass with absurd amounts of weaponry and bullets. I thought she was fun, less opportunity's to seriously act then the first one, but I enjoyed her performance for what it was. Completely steals scenes from the opening of code veronica, not to mention she gets ALL the ship teasing with carlos. She's pretty hot so ill allow it, but it is borderline fanfic.


Nemesis was cute. They did their best with him and he looks correct, but you can tell he can barely move in that fucking thing. Especially when they decide to have a fucking fist fight between him and Alice. Ending fight was such a delightful canon films style clusterfuck battle. The fights were all pretty dam fun.


Im sure a lot of the neck breaker moves and kicks in the cemetery scene seemed absurd on release, but it actually lines up with some of the finishers in the games. These movies must have inspired at least RE 5-6 to a degree.

I hated Apocalypse but I would probably enjoy it more now, those goofy as shit 2000s action movies are more charming now than they were back then.

A few months ago I watched the movie The Recruit with Colin Farrell, which I'm sure I would have disliked at the time, but the cheesy early 2000sness was charming today.

One unexpected pleasure in this move was the inclusion of based blackman LJ. I enjoyed watching this random pimp and his gold plated pistols fucking around before teaming up with the heroes. Its a silly film, but It reminds me of a canon films movie and I cant give it shit for that.

Oh yeah, LJ was one aspect of the movie I liked at the time, I'm pretty sure he says "GTA mother fucker!" when running over a zombie lol.

 

[Captain Syrup]

I hated Apocalypse but I would probably enjoy it more now

It's not doing measurable harm to the franchise anymore, so who cares.

It's like anything: if your movie is entertaining, then it can be bad; but if it is boring, no degree of sainthood is going to save you.

 

[The handsome tard]

I hated Apocalypse but I would probably enjoy it more now, those goofy as shit 2000s action movies are more charming now than they were back then.

A few months ago I watched the movie The Recruit with Colin Farrell, which I'm sure I would have disliked at the time, but the cheesy early 2000sness was charming today.

Confession: Apocalypse and Extinction are guilty pleasures of mine. I know they are crap but there is something entertainingly stupid about both. On the former, its the closest thing we have of a RE 3 movie we will ever going to get (and trust me, I personally believe we will never get a proper RE3 movie) and Nemesis was good enough to the real thing...you can tell they were still trying with Apocalypse, not as much with the original tho. Its stupid? Yes. Its the start of the series's silly downfall? Also yes...but fuck me, it was still entertaining in a stupid way.

For Extinction, I guess its the same reasons, except that it kind of went into this absurdly non RE route that I gotta applaud it. I guess I kind of dig desert settings and zombies and I feel like there was a good movie concept wise under it...like Mad Max but with zombos...it just had the problem of being called a RE movie. Its very stupid, hell, more than Apocalypse but I guess it was still enjoyable stupid enough I can see some worth in it...besides, unlike the sequels it still has some level of a budget with the zombies looking somewhat decent. And I refuse to believe that Synder's Army of the dead wasnt particially inspired by the Vegas scenes.

As to what you said....I have the theory that movies nowadays have grown so shitty and bland that we yearn for the days of the 2000's stupid and yet stylistic trends...it felt like more risks were being taken back then, even if not all paid off...and I think that it helped that CG wasnt 100% there yet and there was still significant use of special effects instead of overabundance of CG.

 

[Nero You're DeadWeight]

Since DLC for 8 is announced and we're all speculating:
At the very least
I want a VR patch so I can use my VR more since it worked pretty well in RE 7. Like I don't see why not y'know?

If we get Chris DLC
I'd be fine if it was like "what was Chris doing up until coming into Ethan's house" and included shit like what was Chris up to when Ethan's taking down the lords.

Obvious want more back story on the lords DLC is obvious.

My friend and I both agree an alternate non cannon ending where you chose to help Heisenberg would be really fucking cool NGL. Like dead ass I want to know what would happen if we said yes. I'm surprised that wasn't an option in RE 8 to begin with since in RE7 we had the Zoe or Mia choice, why couldn't we have had a "sure i'll help you Heisenberg" or a "fuck you magnito bitch" choice.

My dream DLC is utter crack.
You know how weird the Jack's birthday DLC was in RE7?
Why not have a funny dlc where you play as Chris or Ethan and your running around taking care of Rose or something. Maybe you got to fight lycans or something while you grab baby bottles, or baby powder, or you peak-a-boo, rock her to sleep, or go on a scavenger hunt around the house or village to find stuff like teddy bears or something.

Other funny dream DLC in mind is A Duke DLC but it's just cooking mama thats it. Like it would either be like that, or the cooking mini game segments in KH3.
Or Duke lore would be cool.

 

[Dom Cruise]

Confession: Apocalypse and Extinction are guilty pleasures of mine. I know they are crap but there is something entertainingly stupid about both. On the former, its the closest thing we have of a RE 3 movie we will ever going to get (and trust me, I personally believe we will never get a proper RE3 movie) and Nemesis was good enough to the real thing...you can tell they were still trying with Apocalypse, not as much with the original tho. Its stupid? Yes. Its the start of the series's silly downfall? Also yes...but fuck me, it was still entertaining in a stupid way.

For Extinction, I guess its the same reasons, except that it kind of went into this absurdly non RE route that I gotta applaud it. I guess I kind of dig desert settings and zombies and I feel like there was a good movie concept wise under it...like Mad Max but with zombos...it just had the problem of being called a RE movie. Its very stupid, hell, more than Apocalypse but I guess it was still enjoyable stupid enough I can see some worth in it...besides, unlike the sequels it still has some level of a budget with the zombies looking somewhat decent. And I refuse to believe that Synder's Army of the dead wasnt particially inspired by the Vegas scenes.

As to what you said....I have the theory that movies nowadays have grown so shitty and bland that we yearn for the days of the 2000's stupid and yet stylistic trends...it felt like more risks were being taken back then, even if not all paid off...and I think that it helped that CG wasnt 100% there yet and there was still significant use of special effects instead of overabundance of CG.

The difference is back then a movie would just be stupid, today something is stupid and also trying to brainwash you into an evil ideology, good old fashioned stupid is preferable, basically stupid is better than evil.

There was a time though when the norm was neither stupid nor evil, if only we could get back to that, but 2000s era stupid has aged well due to at least not being evil.

 

[The handsome tard]

The difference is back then a movie would just be stupid, today something is stupid and also trying to brainwash you into an evil ideology, good old fashioned stupid is preferable, basically stupid is better than evil.

There was a time though when the norm was neither stupid nor evil, if only we could get back to that, but 2000s era stupid has aged well due to at least not being evil.

The bizarre thing is that the series as on OP mary sue in the form of Alice and yet I legit believe she is a better strong female character type than most female characters done nowadays. I guess because back then there was this power fantasy and "look how badass and hot my wife is" element to it while nowadays its to preach some sort of girl power...

I cant believe Im somewhat complementing the Paul Anderson movies for not being woke despite having all the ingredients to be so

Edit: Tho looking at the Netflix series, I usually tell to my friends "I dread this Netflix series. Why? Simple, Im afraid to watch and then say these words 'The P.A movies were better than this'. "

 

[Dom Cruise]

The bizarre thing is that the series as on OP mary sue in the form of Alice and yet I legit believe she is a better strong female character type than most female characters done nowadays. I guess because back then there was this power fantasy and "look how badass and hot my wife is" element to it while nowadays its to preach some sort of girl power...

I cant believe Im somewhat complementing the Paul Anderson movies for not being woke despite having all the ingredients to be so

The main difference is they allowed her to be sexy, even showing her nude (at least in some versions of the first movie I guess) and that's why she's fundamentally more buyable as a character because a woman's beauty is part of a woman's "strength"

An actual "strong" female character is one that is also beautiful, that's just what resonates with the human psyche, Ripley is another good comparison, we see her in her underwear in Alien and Aliens, her sexuality is never the central focus but it's allowed to be there in at least some small degree as opposed to purposely hidden away like Rey in Star Wars, which another good comparison is Leia and her "slave bikini" outfit, Leia being sexy was never the main focus of the character either, but again, they still allowed it and didn't shun it and again, they went out of their way to make Rey "non-sexualized" as possible.

Sex is just a part of life, sex is a part of love, a part of simply being a human being, a compelling human character is always at least to some small degree going to have sex appeal.

What Woke fundamentally is is a war on human beings as we really are, an attempt to shape us into something less than human, the scale of the evil that is being committed in our modern world is too much to take sometimes and it really does feel like the wrath of God himself is going to be felt soon.

 

[Michael Wade]

The main difference is they allowed her to be sexy, even showing her nude (at least in some versions of the first movie I guess) and that's why she's fundamentally more buyable as a character because a woman's beauty is part of a woman's "strength"

An actual "strong" female character is one that is also beautiful, that's just what resonates with the human psyche, Ripley is another good comparison, we see her in her underwear in Alien and Aliens, her sexuality is never the central focus but it's allowed to be there in at least some small degree as opposed to purposely hidden away like Rey in Star Wars, which another good comparison is Leia and her "slave bikini" outfit, Leia being sexy was never the main focus of the character either, but again, they still allowed it and didn't shun it and again, they went out of their way to make Rey "non-sexualized" as possible.

Sex is just a part of life, sex is a part of love, a part of simply being a human being, a compelling human character is always at least to some small degree going to have sex appeal.

What Woke fundamentally is is a war on human beings as we really are, an attempt to shape us into something less than human, the scale of the evil that is being committed in our modern world is too much to take sometimes and it really does feel like the wrath of God himself is going to be felt soon.

That really is a perfect comparison, I was just thinking about that earlier today. While Alice in some ways is like the flat character of Rey, she looks pretty, she's allowed to feel pain, be sad and fail to save people. She may be a badass killing machine, but at the end of the day she's only one chick, and by the looks of the third movie, she's gonna have a rough fucking time putting the world back together.

its the closest thing we have of a RE 3 movie we will ever going to get (and trust me, I personally believe we will never get a proper RE3 movie)

I was gonna say if the new RE movie does well they could make it, but I just realized that because its an adaptation of both 1 and 2, its likely going to have the mansion incident at the same time as the outbreak.

 

[Dom Cruise]

That really is a perfect comparison, I was just thinking about that earlier today. While Alice in some ways is like the flat character of Rey, she looks pretty, she's allowed to feel pain, be sad and fail to save people. She may be a badass killing machine, but at the end of the day she's only one chick, and by the looks of the third movie, she's gonna have a rough fucking time putting the world back together.

And all those things make her way more human, as silly as things get.

Any good story, no matter how fantastical needs a grain of truth in there somewhere to resonate and be enjoyable to people, even if it's a truth as basic as "hot women are hot"

 

[Michael Wade]

Oh yeah, LJ was one aspect of the movie I liked at the time, I'm pretty sure he says "GTA mother fucker!" when running over a zombie lol.

LJ should be the subject of classes on how to do a comic relief character. His scenes are spaced out perfectly between the action and he provided a layman's perspective.

Better then every "funny" character in a horror movie I see these days.

 

[Captain Syrup]

It's like comparing TV Charlie's Angels to Drew Barrymore flogging the movies as a stealth feminist manifesto.

Then you go back and look at the numbers, and it turns out CA was a guy's show, primarily.

RE is dynamite junk, but junk all the same.

 

[The handsome tard]

I was gonna say if the new RE movie does well they could make it, but I just realized that because its an adaptation of both 1 and 2, its likely going to have the mansion incident at the same time as the outbreak.

Wow, that totally doesnt sound like a disaster in the making and kind of ruining what made the Raccoon City outbreak so impactful...It was the perfect example of bigger is better but in a good way. So having the outbreak WHILE having the mansion incident ruins the impact of both disasters.