Restaurants that should exist

[Gentlebastard]

Resturant that sells nachos with pink triangles and other Kiwi Farms related foods

To enter the restaurant, it is necessary to voluntarily buy and consume at least one (1) Bacon Cheeseburger, fried in tallow. Once in, you can order:
Rocky Mountain oysters, or roe/milt-based appetizers, accompanied by a Limburger-based sauce (for the troons and pooners and their malodorous stinkditches/rotdogs)
Salads made with fibrous or hair-like food, like celery strips, certain edible algae, szechuan peppercorns, or capellini (for furries)
Roasted stuffed quail with steamed broccoli (because we're not killing actual kiwis)
KF and MATI-themed pizzas made with NO AMERICAN CHEESE WHATSOEVER. We can have a Meat Inhaler's for Jack Scalfani, black pudding or pepperoni for Pat Tomlinson, one made with gouda and fancy-schmancy European charcuterie for Null, a cold chicken one for Jason Thor Hall etc.
Dessert nachos (made with tart red fruits/berries, accompanied by a dark chocolate ganache)
Kiwi ice cream

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

I'm surprised mexican/Jeet fusion isn't more of a thing. Rotis and flour tortillas are pretty much the same thing, chutney and salsa are essentially identical concepts. They both use a lot of rice and beans and spices.

 

[Otterly]

British fast food chain

It’s called a pub! Or it used to be until they hot pretentious.

 

[Squanto Airi]

Tax: I would like a fantasy / medieval themed restaurant that went beyond just serving mead, but some actually interesting and uncommon recipes you don't see unless you make them yourself, like the elder scrolls sweet rolls, for example.

What would be cool is a medieval living history restaurant similar to Medieval Times, but the food being more accurate to the period. And, depending on the season, you could get a Lenten/Advent fasting menu.

 

[Lizard Pope]

"Dahir Insaat" sounds like jeet shit

They are, forgive me, T*rk*sh.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I remember those, they were in racks that spun around. Press the button to rotate column and then pay to open the door of the desired snack. Until now it never occurred to me that they’re not around anymore.

Something like automats kinda exist in parts of Asia. You can get full meals from vending machines in Singapore. Japan, too, obviously. East Asia loves its vending machines.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

Be careful what you wish for. Randy Pitchford's wife owns a restaurant called Nerdvana that is video game themed. You can take a look at the menu here; note headings such as "Multiplayer" instead of appetizers. Personally I think it looks insufferable and overpriced. Also, I'm sure exactly what you are asking for exists at the Nintendo theme park.

I realize this and care would be taken to not be some overpriced meme restaurant. Also, the Nintendo World theme park is a bit of an overpriced meme restaurant itself. I realize that the Luigi Burger must not be allowed to outshine the Mario Burger by way of importance but Luigi deserves something better than this.

I'm surprised mexican/Jeet fusion isn't more of a thing. Rotis and flour tortillas are pretty much the same thing, chutney and salsa are essentially identical concepts. They both use a lot of rice and beans and spices.

So, instead of just Mexican food which can be tasty it's just going to be some bastardized disaster and cause you to shit uncontrollably before they even bring it to your table. No thanks.

 

[Not an Hero]

Be careful what you wish for. Randy Pitchford's wife owns a restaurant called Nerdvana that is video game themed. You can take a look at the menu here; note headings such as "Multiplayer" instead of appetizers. Personally I think it looks insufferable and overpriced. Also, I'm sure exactly what you are asking for exists at the Nintendo theme park.

How in the everloving fuck do you open a restaurant for l33t gamers and yet offer neither jolt nor mountain dew?

 

[Archeops]

I realize this and care would be taken to not be some overpriced meme restaurant. Also, the Nintendo World theme park is a bit of an overpriced meme restaurant itself. I realize that the Luigi Burger must not be allowed to outshine the Mario Burger by way of importance but Luigi deserves something better than this.

As somebody who has regular access to Toadstool Cafe the food there isn't bad but it doesn't beat the Three Broomsticks at Hogsmeade. As to why it's better than other offerings at Universal it's in large part due to how extremely anal Nintendo is in regards to what foods are available and how it's presented: for a long while you couldn't substitute or exclude items from food items like the Mario Burger and some foods like the Super Star Lemon Squash drink still have these limits in place.

Also don't diss that chicken sandwich, it's one of the better items on the menu. Now if only we could get the DK items available in Japan and Orlando ported to Hollywood.

How in the everloving fuck do you open a restaurant for l33t gamers and yet offer neither jolt nor mountain dew?

Jolt's been discontinued outside of Australia while having Mountain Dew on-tap locks you into only serving Pepsi products.

On the plus side you could probably convince PepsiCo to make a Mountain Dew flavor that's exclusive to your locations if it's popular enough.

 

[Rich Vos]

America use to have these Automats restaurant chains where different cooked sandwiches, burgers and pies are stored in a glass window with coin slots and you just pick what you wanted.

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Come home white man.

"Dahir Insaat" sounds like jeet shit, but I'm not sure how can you design this elaborate airport luggage-style network above and below the dining area and then claim you're saving money.

The thing about restaurants is that despite the fact that they pretty much have to be built with grease traps and special water/power/HVAC systems, they're still buildings that can be used for just about anything. Here, not only do you have to build a three-story structure you can't even rearrange the tables. If such a restaurant existed, it would be one of those places that gets a lot of press when it opens and then goes under in less than a year or whenever investor money stops, because it loses thousands of dollars every single day (and that assumes it works, seems like it would be malfunctioning constantly).

And then after it closes, it sits as a white elephant on the market with the equipment torn out (not usable as a food establishment as the kitchen is on the third floor, but the dishwasher is in the first floor or basement) before being unceremoniously demolished for two or three drive-through restaurants that actually turn a profit.

It's just one of those ideas that's worked out just to patent and sell it, with little regard for its real world applicability. I'm sure an industry with razor thin margins and mostly buoyed by a low barrier of entry is going to thrive on an absurdly convoluted and maintainance-heavy industrial gimmick like this. Even McDonald's or any other major fast food chain would have a tough time trying to convince their franchisees to invest in this shit.

 

[LonesomeDud]

A restaurant that lets you revisit the nostalgia of childhood without the pain. The pie is never bitter.

 

[ADN_VIII]

I legitimately want a fast food place that caters exclusively to service and retail industry workers. Dirt cheap, basic but filling food, open late, and ideally plentiful portion sizes. I know it can be done, but no one does because the level of competition is like David vs Goliath if Goliath was big enough to eat a small country in a single bite.

 

[TheTitKoker]

I legitimately want a fast food place that caters exclusively to service and retail industry workers. Dirt cheap, basic but filling food, open late, and ideally plentiful portion sizes. I know it can be done, but no one does because the level of competition is like David vs Goliath if Goliath was big enough to eat a small country in a single bite.

There is - it's called your local coke dealer in the 7-11 alley to get those Lunchables after doing a bump and heading back to your car to sleep 4 hours and be back at prep at 8am.

 

[Stoneheart]

I legitimately want a fast food place that caters exclusively to service and retail industry workers. Dirt cheap, basic but filling food, open late, and ideally plentiful portion sizes. I know it can be done, but no one does because the level of competition is like David vs Goliath if Goliath was big enough to eat a small country in a single bite.

Bacon and beans with 2 redbulls in a menu

 

[CryptoHermit]

A restaurant that has a hibachi setup but for diner foods.

A hot pot restaurant but it's stews instead of Sichuan hotpot.

 

[Mister Mint]

America use to have these Automats restaurant chains where different cooked sandwiches, burgers and pies are stored in a glass window with coin slots and you just pick what you wanted.

I have an autistic love of automats. Went to a theme park in Europe recently and they had automats for snacks. The food wasn't good, but I was still happy.


Anyway, my restaurant that should exist is called Jurassic Pork. We work with a genetics lab to lab grow extinct animals from their existing DNA so we can all enjoy eating extinct or critically endangered animals. Try BBQ dodo, mammoth stew, archaeopteryx pot pie. But we don't stop at animals, we do fruits too. Follow up your meal with a nice Roman silphium sorbet or a gros michel banana split (our auroch-milk ice cream is second to none).

 

[Stoneheart]

I have an autistic love of automats. Went to a theme park in Europe recently and they had automats for snacks. The food wasn't good, but I was still happy.

the redlight district of amsterdam isnt a theme park...

 

[Mister Mint]

the redlight district of amsterdam isnt a theme park...

I went there the next day. This was at Efteling. But that's not my picture so maybe it's the wrong one.

 

[CryptoHermit]

A hot pot restaurant but it's stews instead of Sichuan hotpot.

Adding onto this. Like with Sichuan hotpot you have a pot on a gas tripod burner with a thick broth already done to your taste (light chicken broth, pork broth, beef broth, veg stock, mushroom, thick stew gravy already done etc..). Having an assortment of meats cut thick or thin, on bone or off. A selection of bouquet garni options of various herbs and cheese cloth wrapped whole spices to accompany the meat and veg you to order to go with the stew. Small diced portions of all the classic vegetables to cook fast. Bowls of potatoes, barley, oats or biscuits cooked in the style you prefer to spoon the hotpot stew ontop like you would with rice and Sichuan cooking. Maybe even an option to include a hot thin skillet on a burner to char any veg, spices or meat before tossing into the stew pot.

 

[Stoneheart]

I went there the next day. This was at Efteling. But that's not my picture so maybe it's the wrong one.

they all look the same.

europa park has much better food, rollercoaster restaurant is fun and their high end restaurant outside the park is crazy cool