Careercow Reuben Baron - Smart Bisexual Stuttering Clever-man

[Boundman]

Rueben said in a thread here that he's not going into journalism, which I'm supposing infers that the LFB is simply a past-time. I don't think we have to worry about Rueben going on to do much more than dumb gonzo posts (For example, his 'The Imitation Game: An Autistic Perspective'). The journalist thing was likely just pretense so 'Jace' would talk to him.

 

[Rogowski]

I noticed that Reuben used his Jewish stutter voodoo magic to start cleaning up the results of googling his name. Which goes to show that coming from money goes a long way.

 

[blackie toy]

Rueben said in a thread here that he's not going into journalism, which I'm supposing infers that the LFB is simply a past-time. I don't think we have to worry about Rueben going on to do much more than dumb gonzo posts (For example, his 'The Imitation Game: An Autistic Perspective'). The journalist thing was likely just pretense so 'Jace' would talk to him.

Honestly he'd probably be able to have a career—a joke of one, but still a career—in journalism (i.e., blogging), but this film-making shit? Not a goddamn chance. Especially not after he conned a veteran with a head injury into an attack interview. Hollywood supports the troops. Reuben G. Baron does not support the troops.

 

[Boundman]

Honestly he'd probably be able to have a career—a joke of one, but still a career—in journalism (i.e., blogging), but this film-making shit? Not a goddamn chance. Especially not after he conned a veteran with a head injury into an attack interview. Hollywood supports the troops. Reuben G. Baron does not support the troops.

He'd fit right in with all the SJW Hipsters at Kotaku to be fair, I tried to watch Book Girl but it was too horrendous. In the interview, he said he had a science class, so maybe he's not only doing film? I don't know how long sciences are compulsory for in America.

 

[General Juicer]

Rueben said in a thread here that he's not going into journalism, which I'm supposing infers that the LFB is simply a past-time.

I'm trying not to let my contempt for this dude override my sense of fair play, but damn this is hard.

 

[Kablamo]

The surprising part, though, is that Reuben G. Baron seems to recognize that he lacks any talent for filmmaking:

What a fucking hack.

Very good point!

I just cannot fathom how he manages to realize that the low-quality product he put out is anything but his own errors. He cites "disastrous production", when really most of the mistakes come from incompetent principal photography which (I imagine) Reuben would have been directly responsible for. It is classic lolcow behaviour to dodge blame like this. Even if we can accept the laughable script, the juvenile attempt at SpecialEdFX, the untrained actors, and the limitations of available equipment, he still bumbles around like he's never seen a movie before.

Simple things like scene continuity, camera stability, and even focus and zoom of shots seem to be incredibly inconsistent. to say nothing of sound editing and lighting. He blames production, but it really seems like Reuben is the single weakest link in his film production chain. Good directors have been able to negotiate these limitations in the past, they find creative ways to manage the challenges they're confronted with. Reuben criticizes his final product, but stops short of taking personal responsibility for it's failures. Instead, he is trying to parlay his laughable failure into some kind of self-satire, which I'm positive will lack the self-deprecating wit that is required to produce humorous satire. But don't fret, because I guarantee that his movie will be a barrel of laughs either way!

I, for one, am really looking forward to the spectacle of Reuben G. Baron's next cinematic rollercoaster: The Making of a Superhero Musical. I'm expecting a hack fraud rip off of Birdman, but without any of the talent or technical skill. Rueben G. Baron's Mary Sue insert is described as a "Genius Shakespeare director". It has 6 times the budget of Book Girl, almost a third of which was supplied by a ~$2,300 donation by anonymous (thanks Mr. and Mrs. Baron!). The indiegogo campaign page indicates that as of 2 months ago, principal photography was nearly half-completed, and that expected release is December 2015. I am #hyped!


EDIT: "UPDATE: This campaign was fully funded July 13th 2103!"

 

[Peace and Harmony]

If this drops close to the time when the Maradonia and the Seven Bridges movie releases, we can have lolcow back-to-back screening with critical analysis and commentary,

 

[blackie toy]

In the interview, he said he had a science class, so maybe he's not only doing film? I don't know how long sciences are compulsory for in America.

Most likely a requirement for graduation that he put off. Liberal arts colleges—even a tumblrcosm like Bard—require you to take general education courses at some point in order to graduate. Most likely, Reuben was taking something easy, like geology, that doesn't involve things like dividing most animal species into discrete sexes based on genetics.

Simple things like scene continuity, camera stability, and even focus and zoom of shots seem to be incredibly inconsistent. to say nothing of sound editing and lighting.

Yep. It's pathetic. He did have one classic Hollywood strategy pinned down, though: I think he was dating his leading lady. That's right, Reuben G. Baron believes that relationships trump skill. Reuben G. Baron practices nepotism.

The indiegogo campaign page indicates that as of 2 months ago, principal photography was nearly half-completed, and that expected release is December 2015.

Dear fucking god. You can't stretch principal photography over that long a period. I can't wait until they cut between two scenes and the actors have completely different haircuts.

 

[Meowthkip]

Dear fucking god. You can't stretch principal photography over that long a period. I can't wait until they cut between two scenes and the actors have completely different haircuts.

Eraserhead's principle photography lasted for something like five years. Jack Nance had to keep that same haircut during the entire production. But, you know, Eraserhead was directed by David Lynch. Reuben ain't no David Lynch.

... Also, did you know that Boyhood took 12 years to make? That's amazing!

 

[Cuck Norris]

Eraserhead's principle photography lasted for something like five years. Jack Nance had to keep that same haircut during the entire production. But, you know, Eraserhead was directed by David Lynch. Reuben ain't no David Lynch.

... Also, did you know that Boyhood took 12 years to make? That's amazing!

IIRC it only took that long because Lynch kept running out of money though.

 

[Soew]

Very good point!

I just cannot fathom how he manages to realize that the low-quality product he put out is anything but his own errors. He cites "disastrous production", when really most of the mistakes come from incompetent principal photography which (I imagine) Reuben would have been directly responsible for. It is classic lolcow behaviour to dodge blame like this. Even if we can accept the laughable script, the juvenile attempt at SpecialEdFX, the untrained actors, and the limitations of available equipment, he still bumbles around like he's never seen a movie before.

Simple things like scene continuity, camera stability, and even focus and zoom of shots seem to be incredibly inconsistent. to say nothing of sound editing and lighting. He blames production, but it really seems like Reuben is the single weakest link in his film production chain. Good directors have been able to negotiate these limitations in the past, they find creative ways to manage the challenges they're confronted with. Reuben criticizes his final product, but stops short of taking personal responsibility for it's failures. Instead, he is trying to parlay his laughable failure into some kind of self-satire, which I'm positive will lack the self-deprecating wit that is required to produce humorous satire. But don't fret, because I guarantee that his movie will be a barrel of laughs either way!

I, for one, am really looking forward to the spectacle of Reuben G. Baron's next cinematic rollercoaster: The Making of a Superhero Musical. I'm expecting a hack fraud rip off of Birdman, but without any of the talent or technical skill. Rueben G. Baron's Mary Sue insert is described as a "Genius Shakespeare director". It has 6 times the budget of Book Girl, almost a third of which was supplied by a ~$2,300 donation by anonymous (thanks Mr. and Mrs. Baron!). The indiegogo campaign page indicates that as of 2 months ago, principal photography was nearly half-completed, and that expected release is December 2015. I am #hyped!


EDIT: "UPDATE: This campaign was fully funded July 13th 2103!"

^this

i did a bunch of film studies back in highschool because it was the most bullshit way to get art credits (though i did enjoy it). The thing that drove me nuts about his film was the fact that this was a film studies student who wasn't following basic rules. You aren't David Lynch and you never will be if you don't understand rules of film making well enough to bend/break them effectively.

probably the best advice I’ve ever heard when it comes to film-making is "get incredibly talented people and make them understand your vision". Reuben needs to focus on cultivating his talents at communicating tone, atmosphere, emotion etc through various techniques then take those tools and use them to communicate his vision for a film. In Book Girl he just tried to produce otherkin propaganda and loosely demonstrate the use of some techniques. His time would have been probably been better spent trying to shoot a single 2-5 minute scene that demonstrated top notch technique and communicated the point of the scene well.
/sperg

anyway, that Reuben G Baron SEO has been outstanding. the current google front page, nice.

haven't seen it point out yet but it may be possible to get a look at the film as early as May, though we'll have to see. from the indiegogo page

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

R-R--r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rrruh-Reuben logged in earlier today. HI REUBEN

 

[Golly]

View attachment 19986

I wonder if this means he actually films the scenes sequentially.

 

[dabluearmedbandit]

I'm not a film critic or student or anything, but from what little I know I think it's fascinating that he's graduating if that's the quality of work he turns in. When The Room is a higher quality film than yours in every possible way (dialogue, storyline, camera techniques, it's actually funny), maybe you should re-evaluate your career choice. So this leads me to ask: is Bard's College just the rich kid version of Phoenix Online? You just buy a degree?

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

IIRC it only took that long because Lynch kept running out of money though.

Yup. There was a point when Lynch seriously considered building a miniature model of the set and filming the ending in stop motion. Unlike some people he is a man with genuine passion for his art.

 

[Kosher Dill]

So this leads me to ask: is Bard's College just the rich kid version of Phoenix Online? You just buy a degree?

That's true even at places like Harvard. Once you're in, it's up to you to take advantage of what's offered. If you want to spend your time and money being a Reuben-esque journalistic clever-man, no one will stop you as long as you keep up a C average.

 

[the Borg]

When The Room is a higher quality film than yours in every possible way (dialogue, storyline, camera techniques, it's actually funny), maybe you should re-evaluate your career choice.

Reuben could probably actually make a decent remake of The Room, especially considering how much he looks like Tommy Wiseau. It'd still be worse than the source material, but he would be a star!

 

[Stress Sigh]

I've never seen someone sprint towards being a lolcow so willingly before. Anyone thought about introducing him to Ahuviya? If I recall he's single and ready to mingle .

 

[Rogowski]

I wish Reuben would at least give us a statement regarding the Jan discovery. I want to see the mental gymnastics he pulls off to try and make himself seem like a winner in the end.

 

[Kablamo]

This is the third time I've seen Reuben G. Baron online this week.

He just can't stay away. I wonder why he keeps logging in.

@Reuben G. Baron why don't you come into the thread? I think we have some questions about your recent endeavours and the progress of your film. Perhaps you could offer us a commentary track when we premiere your film?