Reveal something totally unexpected about yourself - Shock and awe awaits - Don't powerlevel

[Dylan]

I tell kids on the playgrounds to use stones and sticks to beat other little shits. I do it secretly, parents don't see it coming when their little booboo gives a black eye to some monkey poc spawn.
Of course I don't tell that to any kid, I know the one who needs this knowledge when I see one.
Their shit head mothers obviously throw a fit, but it's better than having some gypsy larvae pester you.

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

I can't smell feet.

I can smell bad breath. I can smell BO. I can smell all kinds of shit (provided my sinusitis isn't acting up). But if someone tells me, "It smells like feet in here," I can't smell a thing other than fresh air.

It's kind of like some people being able to smell cyanide when everyone else can't because they don't have the right gene.

I have some of this superpower fuckery. I can smell the leather on sandals from 6-10 feet away, smell the iron in things rusted or otherwise and generally detect how rusted the iron is, differentiate the type of food based on smell, smell a lot of other shit. Its got to the point where people say I mightve been a sniffer dog for the cops in nother life.

I can also whistle very well, upto 3 octaves, can perform stuff like the 1812 overture, hungarian rhapsody no 2, dies irae requiem, specialist from persona 4 and a lot of other stuff in between upto 95% accuracy.

 

[An automatic clown]

I can't wink with my right eye, it only closes when I close both eyes. Very odd stuff.

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

I tell kids on the playgrounds to use stones and sticks to beat other little shits. I do it secretly, parents don't see it coming when their little booboo gives a black eye to some monkey poc spawn.
Of course I don't tell that to any kid, I know the one who needs this knowledge when I see one.
Their shit head mothers obviously throw a fit, but it's better than having some gypsy larvae pester you.

You should tell kids to use words instead. They hurt way more

 

[Fag Albert]

ive never seen an episode of fat albert

 

[The Cunting Death]

I'm recovering from amphetamine addiction

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

one time when i was a kid (6-8 ) i was flicking through the channels and somehow managed to get onto the exact channel with the exact moment of brian getting run over in family guy

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

people on deviantart faildoxed me when i was like 11. even the state was completely wrong

oh doublepost fail. well you faggots better start this thread up again

 

[I'm Really Feeling It]

The only meat I know the taste of is chicken. No beef, no ham, no pork.

 

[Wot Zit Too Yah0996]

I can chug a whole bottle of vinegar without coughing or gagging.

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

My left foot is slightly wider than my right.

 

[regginknurd]

I only ever voted for anything beyond my state once my entire life. What I voted for lost, and since it felt too much like buying a scratch-off ticket and losing I never voted on anything national ever again. Even now I'm starting to care less and less about state issues and just vote on county and city things.

 

[SentinentCloud]

i am merely the second most based user on the website

 

[Jason Wynn]

I shared a cigarette with Chuck Palahniuk once.

 

[Almighty Space Duck]

I'm not really a duck.

 

[Tri-Tachyon'sClown]

I'm actually a low tech fan, I frequently raid and destroy Tri-Tachyon as a faction despite it being my favorite.

The only meat I know the taste of is chicken. No beef, no ham, no pork.

...how? Also ham is pork.

 

[Adrenochrome Dreams]

I have two differently shaped ears.

 

[I'm Really Feeling It]

Also ham is pork.

There you go, I'm this ignorant about the topic.

 

[Dojima's Dragon]

I have a friend no one can see and helps me with stuff, super cool guy too

 

[glass_houses]

My parlour trick in my early thirties was to type rapidly on my computer, and then turn around and have a conversation with someone, still typing away, not even so much as glancing at the monitor. I could even catch a typo, go back and correct it, still with my eyes on the person I was talking to.

I could only do that for three sentences, after that I had to stop because that was the limit of what I could "preload", for lack of a better description. I'd already composed what I was writing in my head when whoever came to talk to me, my typing was essentially muscle memory, which was limited. Even so, it seemed to impress people (usually my workmates), which was nice.

I can't do it anymore. I don't know if that's from of lack of practice, or because of damage to my brain meat. Still. It was a good parlour trick while I could pull it off.