Reveal something totally unexpected about yourself - Shock and awe awaits - Don't powerlevel

I used to get weird sicknesses as a kid. I had shingles in middle school. Got scarlet fever twice at 8 and 13.
 
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I have a weird quirk where if I’m on the phone and need to sound professional and/or polite my voice goes up several octaves. I sound like a stereotypical campy gay guy and have gotten mistaken for being female by callers. I don’t do this with friends or family but I can’t help it if I’m at work and need to be on the phone.
 
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Ever since I was a kid, I figured out how to do this weird spitting thing. Gleek? Gleeking?
 

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I narrowly dodged the Jesus camp experience.
It feels like I dodged a bullet, looking back at the indoctrination the local flavor of Jesus camp youth services employed as well as the adults passing out chick tracts at the same time.


Just Dont said:
I hate to drive and I hate cars.
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Oh mood but I also savor the freedom it gives my asocial ass.
 
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DatBepisTho said:
I narrowly dodged the Jesus camp experience.
It feels like I dodged a bullet, looking back at the indoctrination the local flavor of Jesus camp youth services employed as well as the adults passing out chick tracts at the same time.



Oh mood but I also savor the freedom it gives my asocial ass.
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Your parents were just trying to 'Pray the Gay Away'.

:(
 
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Every shit I take is over in less than 1 second as the entire contents of my bowels is forced out by a massive fart immediately after sitting down. It covers the entire bowl and has the consistency of oily clay. It's like a shit shotgun, a shitgun if you will.
I always completely take off my underwear and pants to take a shit even though it is over so quickly, as I need the feeling of freedom and what if I have to unexpectedly sprint off after/while taking a shit? You'd look pretty silly trying to run with your pants around your ankles.
Inevitably some splatters back and hits my hairy ass and legs. I call it "cosplaterral damage".
It takes 2 flushes before I can even think about using the brush.
I wish they made disposable toilets.
 
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When I was a kid I read a book about Harry Houdini in which it was revealed that one of his tricks was that he could 'half-swallow' something, like a key, hold it in his upper esophagus, be searched, and then after the search bring it back up. I thought this was pretty cool, so I decided to learn how to do it. I practiced until I could do it. Honestly it's pretty easy. I only did it with soft things like grapes, though. I never tried something either hard or potentially sharp like a key. Sometimes I would half-swallow something in class in grade school, and see if I could hold it there all through class. And yes, you can talk when it's there, and your voice is normal. It's really not that difficult.
 
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LateNightMuffin said:
When I was a kid I read a book about Harry Houdini in which it was revealed that one of his tricks was that he could 'half-swallow' something, like a key, hold it in his upper esophagus, be searched, and then after the search bring it back up. I thought this was pretty cool, so I decided to learn how to do it. I practiced until I could do it. Honestly it's pretty easy. I only did it with soft things like grapes, though. I never tried something either hard or potentially sharp like a key. Sometimes I would half-swallow something in class in grade school, and see if I could hold it there all through class. And yes, you can talk when it's there, and your voice is normal. It's really not that difficult.
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Thats a skill with infinite entertainment possibilities...

...in a gay club
 
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