Reveal something totally unexpected about yourself - Shock and awe awaits - Don't powerlevel

[Grundlejungle]

I took a drunken shit so massive that I actually fucking destroyed the toilet.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I can do some sound effects. Maybe even somewhat good.

(although likely not as good as that guy who made sound effects in that police show)

I can mimic a cat purring or that "purr-meow" noise they make when they jump on stuff (it's similar to rolling an R in Spanish), a tribble from Star Trek (ditto), a clown horn (it's humming a certain way), and the sound of wind in the desert (hard to explain how I do that).

 

[glass_houses]

I probably have mild Dermatographia, otherwise known as skin writing. My welts aren't raised, but they're dark red and still pretty dramatic. They last ten to twenty minutes, depending on location, how hard I've been scratched, and the ambient air temperature. I can play naughts and crosses on my belly, sign my signature on my thigh, and I have to be careful when wearing back revealing tops because if I forget myself and scratch an itch too hard, it looks like someone's taken to me with a whip and people get upset when they see it.

I say that I probably have Dermatographia because I've never been to a dermatologist to have it diagnosed. Until recently I didn't know that it was an actual condition, and I thought that everyone with fair and sensitive skin got welts like mine. But it turns out they don't, and that I actually have a neat little party trick.

 

[DerKryptid]

I remember fucking around in middle school and making these fake virus scripts to prank my friend with. Friend decides to one-up me and tells me he's gonna put a script on the teacher's laptop. Dude waits for the teacher to leave the room before fucking around on her laptop for 5 minutes and returning to his desk with the biggest shiteating grin on his face. In comes the teacher who has no idea what happened to her laptop, she doesn't say anything, she just fidgets around on the mouse and has this really frustrated look on her face. Turns out the fucker downloaded a trojan on her laptop and bricked it for a month.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

I'm not fat

 

[Sped Xing]

Nobody IRL likes me.

 

[Atatata]

If I'm not careful I stop blinking entirely. It apparently looks like I shut down, but I'm usually just distracted, thinking about what to get for lunch, that sort of thing.
It runs in the family, whenever my mother eats her eyes stay completely wide open, its kind of funny.

 

[Spermatozoa]

Sperm is crunchy and sometimes burst like pop rocks

 

[Cool Username]

I can touch my nose with the tip of my tongue

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Although I say “retard” a lot I’m nice to actual retards.
I’m more irritated with people who should know better.

 

[soft breathing]

I like weed-edibles; I make brownies and cookies at home with homemade cannabis-butter. They taste delicious, kick in pretty hard and I like feeling fuzzy for a few hours from time to time.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

I like making orikeshi (eraser art)

 

[Emperor Julian]

I was violently assaulted last weds by a complete stranger. I fought him off but have a lot of damage on the right side of my face. It looks likely to Scar in a couple of places. I'm curious to see how severe I look afterward.

 

[Orange Rhymer]

I was violently assaulted last weds by a complete stranger. I fought him off but have a lot of damage on the right side of my face. It looks likely to Scar in a couple of places. I'm curious to see how severe I look afterward.

Did this happen in an Urban area (I assume)?
Hate crime or rando crazy?

Anyway - I am very sorry for you. I hope you are ok, mentally and physically.
Scars on men are cool, tho.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

I'm dumb

 

[Emperor Julian]

Did this happen in an Urban area (I assume)?
Hate crime or rando crazy?

Anyway - I am very sorry for you. I hope you are ok, mentally and physically.
Scars on men are cool, tho.

Rando crazy, I come from a rough part of UK so this isn't my first rodeo and I'm fine. Mrs Julian was safe and I got some hits in so all good. The sheer absurdity of it was the bizzare part.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Most embarrassing relationship moment was meeting my ex’s parents for the first time on New Years Eve. It ended with him getting horribly drunk, puking his guts out in the bathroom while crying “now we won’t be able to have sex tonight” passing out and me and his dad having to walk-carry him to the couch, sit and make sure he’s ok and make small talk.

 

[Cats]

I remember being a sperm tadpole. in the gonads I was the mayor.

 

[Corndog]

I once found a corpse in Miami.

 

[Sped Xing]

I once found a corpse in Miami.

A human corpse?