Reveal something totally unexpected about yourself - Shock and awe awaits - Don't powerlevel

[HoneyInTheLion]

My ex-husband trooned out. I hate trannies with the grief of someone mourning their husband's death to his own fetish.

 

[Ponzo]

I saw three suicides in my teens, all involved trains.

 

[SandyCat]

I don't actually like sandwiches

 

[kidsquid]

I moved around a lot as a kid as my parents were in the RAF and Army. Neither of them ever saw activity combat and my favourite place to live was Cyprus, though I barely remember it as I was nearly 5 when we left so most of my very very early memories are of there. Other places we moved to were just in Bongland which is boring as fuck compared to Cyprus. We were living there during the 1996 quake, which my parents described how the tarmac hockey pitch turned to jelly and the stands rattled like maracas. Many a family slept outside in the week following that.

 

[Sonic]

I have a birthmark shaped like a dick and gaping asshole on my right thigh.

 

[yasscat]

I have a birthmark shaped like a dick and gaping asshole on my right thigh.

pics

 

[Ruin]

I hold the current record for the largest white bass caught in my state.

 

[Character from a movie]

One of the cousins of my mother tried to burn down the local church during the 60's. My mom still keeps the piece of newspaper with the article about it. He was mentally ill.

 

[The Cunting Death]

My brothers friend was in the beethoven sequels. He disappeared about 15 years ago

 

[ddw]

some rich black kid i went to elementary school with was an extra in the game plan and iirc my entire class got to see it early because of him. he went to a private middle and high school and i haven't heard from him since but i got to go to his house (practically a mansion) one time and played his older bro's gta games

 

[Blamo]

I am not really into Tuff Puppy. I just think the cat looks cute.

 

[Cats]

I'll share an embarrassing one:

When I was around 6 years old I went to this gigantic pool/mini waterpark with some friends and they had the tallest diving platform I had ever seen (it wasn't even a diving board, it was just a giant stone platform and it was mfing HIGH) there was a huge line for it and I spent the entire time in line talking about how cool I was because I was gonna do a triple flip and this and that and I knew stuff about dinosaurs and even corrected a kid about a dinosaur's name that he got wrong and I felt so important because I knew all the dinosaurs

Then it was my turn up the ladder.

About halfway up I started to get this uneasy feeling in my tum. My arms started shaking and I didn't completely realize why until I reached the top. I instantly realized that I did not like heights, not one little goddamn bit. I realized that I was too scared to jump! But I didn't want to look like a wimp either. So I just stood there. The lifeguard began screaming at me to jump and I came up with the most six-year-old excuse I possibly could...I said I couldn't jump because the platform was too hot. "SO THEN JUMP!" came the reply. I should have seen that coming.

I learned two important things about life that day after I crawled back down that ladder and did the walk of shame past all those little kids I was trying to impress just minutes before, including the dinosaur kid who, even at 6 years old, I knew was looking at me and thinking "I may not know the name of some stupid dinosaur but at least I'm not a pussy". The first thing I learned was: don't EVER talk yourself up unless you're certain you can back it up, and the second: The only acceptable answer to fear and hesitation is to just "jump".

 

[LateNightMuffin]

My dog weighs more than the average individual human. He's a big boy.

 

[Operaghost]

The meme in my profile picture started before the Slender video game was released.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

I have a small dick .. .. .

 

[Dialtone]

I live in the Shady Pines Trailer Park on County Road 12002 in a 3 bed 2 bath double wide. My name is Dialtone. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll drink a monster zero ultra while doing my pacman kill screens. I can do a thousand now. After I finish my zero ultra I smoke a camel crush cigarette. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser known as irish spring, then an axe body detailer, and on the face an washrag that's just the right amount moldy. Then drink a can of hot mountain dew that was sitting on the bathroom counter warming up, as I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion as a mixer since alcohol isn't cheap and it's a Sunday, alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older making it easier to not get carded at the liquor store. I then have yet another camel crush before eating a whole bag of steakumms after washing my face in the sink while Judas Priest plays on my shower boombox. There is an idea of a Dialtone. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my neckbeard, and you can shake my hand and feel a limp fish grabbing your hand, and maybe you can even smell that I don't shower as often as I should, I simply am not there.

 

[Therapy Dog]

I have a hole in my ass. I mean, aside from the one everyone else has; I had a piece of my left buttock cheek cut out because it got infected when some retard used a contaminated needle when I was in the hospital as an infant. Now I've got a scar on my bum, and it doesn't look cool at all.

Speaking of hospitals, I also had 12 grommet operations when I was a child because my ears were fucked up. I remember whenever I flew on a plane and the pressure started to change, I had indescribable pain in my ears and the air hostess would give me glass cups with warm cloth inside to hold over them. Apparently this is a common enough thing that it's standard procedure, so you don't have to explain it to them. Weirdly, I haven't had issues with my ears since I was about 8. They seem perfectly normal now.

Lastly, I have the trifecta of "handsome male face" features: dimples in both cheeks and a cleft chin.

 

[CaseyTatumm]

I have a small dick .. .. .

You say small dick, I say large clit.

 

[Piss Bear]

I have a hole in my ass. I mean, aside from the one everyone else has; I had a piece of my left buttock cheek cut out because it got infected when some retard used a contaminated needle when I was in the hospital as an infant. Now I've got a scar on my bum, and it doesn't look cool at all.

Speaking of hospitals, I also had 12 grommet operations when I was a child because my ears were fucked up. I remember whenever I flew on a plane and the pressure started to change, I had indescribable pain in my ears and the air hostess would give me glass cups with warm cloth inside to hold over them. Apparently this is a common enough thing that it's standard procedure, so you don't have to explain it to them. Weirdly, I haven't had issues with my ears since I was about 8. They seem perfectly normal now.

Lastly, I have the trifecta of "handsome male face" features: dimples in both cheeks and a cleft chin.

Don’t worry, I think your bum scar looks cool.

I'll share an embarrassing one:

When I was around 6 years old I went to this gigantic pool/mini waterpark with some friends and they had the tallest diving platform I had ever seen (it wasn't even a diving board, it was just a giant stone platform and it was mfing HIGH) there was a huge line for it and I spent the entire time in line talking about how cool I was because I was gonna do a triple flip and this and that and I knew stuff about dinosaurs and even corrected a kid about a dinosaur's name that he got wrong and I felt so important because I knew all the dinosaurs

Then it was my turn up the ladder.

About halfway up I started to get this uneasy feeling in my tum. My arms started shaking and I didn't completely realize why until I reached the top. I instantly realized that I did not like heights, not one little goddamn bit. I realized that I was too scared to jump! But I didn't want to look like a wimp either. So I just stood there. The lifeguard began screaming at me to jump and I came up with the most six-year-old excuse I possibly could...I said I couldn't jump because the platform was too hot. "SO THEN JUMP!" came the reply. I should have seen that coming.

I learned two important things about life that day after I crawled back down that ladder and did the walk of shame past all those little kids I was trying to impress just minutes before, including the dinosaur kid who, even at 6 years old, I knew was looking at me and thinking "I may not know the name of some stupid dinosaur but at least I'm not a pussy". The first thing I learned was: don't EVER talk yourself up unless you're certain you can back it up, and the second: The only acceptable answer to fear and hesitation is to just "jump".

Holy shit, I have a story similar to this too. It’s not as funny but I just remember climbing up to the tallest high-jump in the pool, getting to the top, and just freezing there. There was a huge line of people behind me. I didn’t know what to do. And yes I ended up going back down the ladder too… The pure shame…

High jumps are overrated as fuck anyway, though. They always give me wedgies, and once caused the top piece of my bathing suit to come off from the force of the landing.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

I had like, five minutes where I thought it would be nice to date Rachael Ray, then I sobered up a bit