Rika thread

[Trickie]

...I think it may be best if you talked about these things with a professional. Anonymous people on the internet can say all sorts of shit... you need to talk to someone who studied this shit. He or she will be able to help you better.

^ This.

It isn't easy, and it certainly isn't cheap, but finding a mental health professional who specializes in gender issues is your best bet.

I'd recommend making sure it's a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist, though. I've had a few "therapists" and "social workers" who were big into pseudoscience and other kinds of bullshit.

 

[Observers]

You have to understand that a good amount of "the gorgeous" men if they are heterosexual will probably not care if you look like a woman on the outside. Many would prefer someone who was born sexually a woman.

Is that fair? I cant say Gender issues are not my specialty, are there heterosexual men who are okay with sleeping with trans people yup there are. There will be Gay men who will not want to be with you because you look like a woman, its more complicated then just what they see on the outside.

People are not numbers on a piece of paper they are fluid and complex (i have spent my whole life studying them and still barely grasp the beginning of understanding people)

But many will not want to be with you because of the way you were born. Its in imperfect world with really imperfect people.

We are not professionals though you need to get real help. This message board can not come close to giving you the professional help you so desperately need.

^ This.

It isn't easy, and it certainly isn't cheap, but finding a mental health professional who specializes in gender issues is your best bet.

I'd recommend making sure it's a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist, though. I've had a few "therapists" and "social workers" who were big into pseudoscience and other kinds of bullshit.

Listen to this advice, it is some of the best you will find.

 

[LionSandwich]

Ok, is it such a crime to not want to be associated with the male or female gender and just want to be an individual who is between the genders so people have to get to know me rather than assign traits to me? I also want to be seen as cute and nonthreatening rather than big or manly becuz it makes me feel comfortable cuz I'm not dominating in the least. I want a female sex drive becuz it goes good with my sexuality since I want to be the one who has to "heat up" before getting completely turned on, right now on another forum, I am pretty much demanding people beat and humilate me in a very "testy" way.

All these things are for my happiness and comfortableness rather than that of "hot guys" and they are changes I'm willing to make so I am better defined as a person.

 

[Lil]

None of those sound like they'll help with your mental state, Rob. And we're talking about bettering yourself as a functioning member of society, not about what you can do to seem like a real human bean.

 

[Null]

I've seen that there's a group of people who are really shitty at everything. They're just shoddy people. When they figure this out for themselves, they begin to focus on being really weird. They go out of their ways to appear insane and unique. They do this because they know they can never stand out in a positive way, so they stand out in the most negative way they can. It's like how some children will act out for attention, but a lot more depressing.

You're unhappy as a man because you've failed to be one.
You understand being a woman is not possible.
So, you choose the fucked up third option, which in this case is androgyny or transdom. I've never seen anyone truly happy in this middle-ground.

 

[BT 075]

Ok, is it such a crime to not want to be associated with the male or female gender and just want to be an individual who is between the genders so people have to get to know me rather than assign traits to me? I also want to be seen as cute and nonthreatening rather than big or manly becuz it makes me feel comfortable cuz I'm not dominating in the least. I want a female sex drive becuz it goes good with my sexuality since I want to be the one who has to "heat up" before getting completely turned on, right now on another forum, I am pretty much demanding people beat and humilate me in a very "testy" way.

All these things are for my happiness and comfortableness rather than that of "hot guys" and they are changes I'm willing to make so I am better defined as a person.

If you do not identify as a woman you have no business getting HRT. You either accept the fact that you are a man and try to make the most of it, or you go for that transition of gender. Either way, you need to see a professional.

You can be tall and hairy and still be cute. You have plenty of big hairy dudes who aren't the least bit threatening, instead they have this "teddy bear" aura to them. If you really hate being masculine, go get a wax. Don't work out. Diet. Dress up.

David Bowie never had HRT. He had style instead.

 

[DC 740]

Just do whatever you want and don't focus on labels. If it really upsets you that much, just forget about it, let people be dumb and do it themselves.

 

[JEWS]

Ok, is it such a crime to not want to be associated with the male or female gender and just want to be an individual who is between the genders so people have to get to know me rather than assign traits to me?

Ok, is it such a crime to do this so people give me what I want?

Yeah, you're still manipulating people.

 

[Observers]

Ok, is it such a crime to not want to be associated with the male or female gender and just want to be an individual who is between the genders so people have to get to know me rather than assign traits to me?

I say this with all respect, how do you expect others to get to know you when you really do not know yourself. You want to be loved, and you say you love yourself, but what you write a least to me says other wise. I do not know you i only know what i read and interpret. But until you love you, you cant expect others to love/like you.

]I also want to be seen as cute and nonthreatening rather than big or manly becuz it makes me feel comfortable cuz I'm not dominating in the least.

I can understand that, As a normal sized guy who looks very quiet I am Dom many people in the community look at me at first glance and think "yea right" but my personality and my body language eventually shows it to be true. If i can change how people see me from my frail looks you can do the opposite

I want a female sex drive becuz it goes good with my sexuality since I want to be the one who has to "heat up" before getting completely turned on, right now on another forum, I am pretty much demanding people beat and humilate me in a very "testy" way.

Belive it or not but sex drive is a very mental with physical thing, as for teh humiliate a lot of people in power in the real world (both job/physical) tend to like humiliation, you being a big man who is strong and built i find no surprise in this.

All these things are for my happiness and comfortableness rather than that of "hot guys" and they are changes I'm willing to make so I am better defined as a person.

To find happiness you have to learn to love you. Its very simple but not easy. Like walking to Florida from Canada its one foot in front of the other (simple) but not easy.

 

[LionSandwich]

I've seen that there's a group of people who are really shitty at everything. They're just shoddy people. When they figure this out for themselves, they begin to focus on being really weird. They go out of their ways to appear insane and unique. They do this because they know they can never stand out in a positive way, so they stand out in the most negative way they can. It's like how some children will act out for attention, but a lot more depressing.

You're unhappy as a man because you've failed to be one.
You understand being a woman is not possible.
So, you choose the fucked up third option, which in this case is androgyny or transdom. I've never seen anyone truly happy in this middle-ground.

Its just, I feel like a woman (dun dun da nah nah dun dun) I'd rather dress like a woman and I act like a woman but I have a dick. Obviously I don't want a pet duck but I am terrified of truly fucking up my body by mutilating it, and plus, she's been really good to me all my life and I don't think she interferes with anything (aside from terrifying a lot of hetero men that I want to be with)

You can see this Catch 22. I don't feel like a man at all but I'd be a complete insult to women cuz I have a kinda biggish dick that I don't want to remove for something artificial. That's the reason I just want to be androgynous, so people can see my personality first and foremost and will be attracted to that.

Thanks for changing my name and fixing the proxy thingie so I don't have to grind my teeth, Null and I'm sorry if I harassed you when I was pretending to be Robert. I think you're a sweetheart!

I have one final request which you don't have to do if you don't wanna, don't worry. The proxy won't let me change my avatar so when you get the time can you change my avy to this fella? http://imgur.com/AKUholE (yeah everyone hates him but he is my husbando and a total cutie ) Thank you!

 

[Trickie]

So, you choose the fucked up third option, which in this case is androgyny or transdom. I've never seen anyone truly happy in this middle-ground.

To be fair, that's a very small sample size compared to the rest of the population, and considering that very few people in this world are TRULY happy, I'm not surprised you haven't seen anyone in the middle ground who is. I don't think it means being in the middle ground and being happy isn't possible.

To find happiness you have to learn to love you. Its very simple but not easy. Like walking to Florida from Canada its one foot in front of the other (simple) but not easy.

See, I was with you up until you conflated happiness with going to Florida. No one goes to Florida because they want to, they go because they're old and more susceptible to the cold.

 

[Null]

See, I was with you up until you conflated happiness with going to Florida. No one goes to Florida because they want to, they go because they're old and more susceptible to the cold.

Florida is absolutely miserable. I'd say it's the worst state in the country, but I've been to Arkansas.

Then again, Arkansas doesn't have this fucking traffic or humidity. If you can deal with the rednecks, you'd be better off in Arkansas.

 

[Surtur]

Florida is absolutely miserable. I'd say it's the worst state in the country, but I've been to Arkansas.

Then again, Arkansas doesn't have this fucking traffic or humidity. If you can deal with the rednecks, you'd be better off in Arkansas.

Having lived in both states, I can confirm no. At least the women have all their teeth in Florida.

 

[Observers]

If Dexter has shown/taught me anything Florida is full of Serial killers and cops with relationship issues.

 

[LionSandwich]

Yeah, you're still manipulating people.

Uh, you're a dumb arse who believes waaaaaay too much to be credible. So I wouldn't be talking. People aren't entitled to give me ANYTHING and I know that and I'm proud to know that!

I just want to make myself look more preferable to people who I'm attracted to. Wow, that's so manipulative. I guess guys who work out and girls who put on makeup are also manipulative sociopaths too. (And I'm not comparing HRT to that, I'm just saying that there are two factors that affect the way we want to appear, ourselves and other people. For me, those are 50/50 in influencing me and the 100% those make goes to me feeling more comfortable.)

 

[JEWS]

Uh, you're a dumb arse who believes waaaaaay too much to be credible. So I wouldn't be talking.

I'm pretty sure that it's liars who lose credibility when they lie, not the people they lie to.

I just want to make myself look more preferable to people who I'm attracted to. Wow, that's so manipulative.

You're male and attracted to heterosexual men.

 

[LionSandwich]

To be fair, that's a very small sample size compared to the rest of the population, and considering that very few people in this world are TRULY happy, I'm not surprised you haven't seen anyone in the middle ground who is. I don't think it means being in the middle ground and being happy isn't possible.



See, I was with you up until you conflated happiness with going to Florida. No one goes to Florida because they want to, they go because they're old and more susceptible to the cold.

I agree with middle people being really rare so its hard to judge. I for one have never met one. With this androgynous thing, what I'm going for is heavily feminine in mannerisms, body, face and hair but I'm dressing in gender neutral clothes for the most part and keeping my dick. So treat it as 75% female, 15% male and 10% gender neutral. That I think would make me really comfortable with myself and hopefully make this gender dysphoria go away. I don't know if people would hate me for it IRL but at least then I know that they hate me for who I appear to be rather than who I am inside+out.

My parents are moving to Florida for that same exact reason in a couple years. It looks like suburban hell and there are no quaint little towns that look like the settings of a good romance novel.

Oh and thank you, Null, for the avy! I gotta say with his face zoomed in, Brew was def the original Smugleaf

 

[BT 075]

I agree with middle people being really rare so its hard to judge. I for one have never met one. With this androgynous thing, what I'm going for is heavily feminine in mannerisms, body, face and hair but I'm dressing in gender neutral clothes for the most part and keeping my dick. So treat it as 75% female, 15% male and 10% gender neutral. That I think would make me really comfortable with myself and hopefully make this gender dysphoria go away. I don't know if people would hate me for it IRL but at least then I know that they hate me for who I appear to be rather than who I am inside+out.

Go see a professional, please. You cannot be 75% female, 15% male and 10% gender neutral. You go see a professional and they will tell you the same thing. It doesn't exist. Gender doesn't work like that. Maybe on Tumblr it does but not in the real world.

If you wish to be 100% female you can get HRT but you have to convince some doctor of the legitimacy of your gender issues first. Which I don't expect you to succeed in unless you go to therapy first, to find out WHY you want this and what you expect to gain from this. You are a confused individual and you need professional guidance and you need to find it offline.

Please, go get therapy.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

This is so entertaining.



I've lost count how many times Robb broke character.

 

[LionSandwich]

I'm pretty sure that it's liars who lose credibility when they lie, not the people they lie to.


You're male and attracted to heterosexual men.

You lied to a whole bunch of nice people on ED, you MEANY. And you lied to me, saying I was Stiles when I said I wasn't and told you flat out many times I was a troll. And not even really a troll, more like someone who was forced into a role that they had to play. (And had to make the best of it, which I did)

I am biologically male but I do not feel as one and do not wish to be associated with the stereotypes commonly assigned to men. Those stereotypes make me feel uncomfortable cuz they are frequently associated with a dominative person when I am extremely submissive who lusts after being dominated. My traits as they are now, prevent me from being seen the way I want to be seen.

I will be a man til I die but I still wish to reflect the person I truly am. And I want to prevent my jaw from becoming chistled cuz I want to be cute rather than manly.