RIP Asperchu

[A-№1]

While I sympathize with our dear lunkhead, I guarantee that upwards of 75% of any money sent to him would still go to LEGO.

But it should be 100%, the poor boy.

For whatever it's worth, it's not like he's straight up begging people to buy him expensive lego sets for absolutely nothing in return,

He did that last June. He only started selling drawings and pictures because people weren't buying him the MULTIPLES he wanted in exchange for nothing.

Chris remembers Asperchu fondly... Stockholm Syndrome?

Nah. He's just very, very stupid.

Does he think that the person who made the Asperchu medallion wasn't trolling him? Is his memory seriously that bad?

He probably doesn't even remember my name.

It probably is that bad, actually. Given the way he constantly retcons his past to suit his current whims, is it really all that surprising? It's kind of like an old magnetic tape that's been overwritten so many times it's all faded out.

The box was open with the Asperchu medallion inside of it in some of the tomgirl pictures.

I wonder if the box just fell open because Chris is bad at closing things, or if it was intentionally opened as part of one of his odd little rituals?

 

[Meeko]

Does he think that the person who made the Asperchu medallion wasn't trolling him? Is his memory seriously that bad?

He probably doesn't even remember my name.

It probably is that bad, actually. Given the way he constantly retcons his past to suit his current whims, is it really all that surprising? It's kind of like an old magnetic tape that's been overwritten so many times it's all faded out.

I can see that happening. Chris has never had a great memory and the only things he seems to accurately remember long term is vidya related. He did have to remember some stuff due to school, but he's been out of that for a long time now and hasn't been under any pressure to actually remember anything. Chris relies on other people to take care of all of the rough stuff like remember people's faces and names, after all.

 

[NegaCWC]

Does he think that the person who made the Asperchu medallion wasn't trolling him? Is his memory seriously that bad?

He probably doesn't even remember my name.

From Chris' correspondence with Marvin's anonymous acquaintance:

that one woman liked me through that brown shirt Fake me (her name escapes my memory at the moment)

He doesn't remember Kacey's name and logic decries that she should be more memorable than you. Unlike you she was a love interest, met Chris IRL and had 19 more calls with Chris than you did. It seems as if he's gradually forgetting most of the drama that happened after his discovery by the internet, save perhaps for Megan and Snyder related shit.

 

[libertyoftheaether]

It's kind of sad to me that the names of actual people in his life are of less importance to him than his collection of imaginary friends. He revived Simonla Rosechu four years after her death, but he can't even remember the names of supposed sweethearts, people who have sent him gifts and even the name of someone who was pretending to be him.

Someone who cares more about delusions than real people isn't in a good state of mind at all. But if Chris was in a good state of mind, I suppose none of us would be here.

 

[slep]

How is it that Chris can still dwell on people ages ago like Megan and the Greene County School Board in 1992 (and that Principal that asked Chris to sit on his lap), yet he does not remember more recent Christorical people? Does he have a swiss-cheese memory or is he actually in the early stages of a bona-fide Dementia?

 

[KillerKarlKox]

How is it that Chris can still dwell on people ages ago like Megan and the Greene County School Board in 1992 (and that Principal that asked Chris to sit on his lap), yet he does not remember more recent Christorical people? Does he have a swiss-cheese memory or is he actually in the early stages of a bona-fide Dementia?

People who he dealt with for long periods of time in real life retain in his memory longer. There's a reason he longs after his High School gal pals, who he only spent time with at school, but doesn't really remember any other women. The longer the time he spent with someone, the better his memory of them.

 

[Le Bateleur]

When it comes to internet trolls, I think Chris has a vague understanding of trollsonas. In the lyrics to Trollsta's Paradise he portrays Clyde Cash as thirteen-year-old boy sat at a computer. It's possible that people who've trolled him online get filed under this vague stereotype in his mind, which would explain how he remembers less about them than people he spent time with in real life.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I can see that happening. Chris has never had a great memory and the only things he seems to accurately remember long term is vidya related.

It's ridiculous how extreme this is. If you asked him "what was Sonic Adventure about?" he'd immediately kick into a spiel like "wellfirstdrrobotnikwhosenamewasreallyeggmanfoundtheaccentmonsterperfectchaosandneededthesevenchaosemeraldstoreleaseitsfullpoweranddestroystationsquare" and keep going for an hour if you let him. Video games and toys matter to him, people don't. That's really it.

 

[namazuros]

How is it that Chris can still dwell on people ages ago like Megan and the Greene County School Board in 1992 (and that Principal that asked Chris to sit on his lap), yet he does not remember more recent Christorical people? Does he have a swiss-cheese memory or is he actually in the early stages of a bona-fide Dementia?

Does he even remember that accurately though? He's completely shifted stances on Megan and seems to view her through a hate boner of nostalgia. And I don't believe Chris really accurately remembers that principal incident, he only wheels it out for sympathy. Chris seems to reinvent history to suit his own needs, and when something is fuzzy, he'll embellish or fib.

So yeah I'm in the swiss cheese camp.

 

[CatParty]

Chris doesn't know what day it is

 

[4Macie]

Ok so 1) did Kacey really get left at the alter? Cuz I never heard that part of the cannon. I'm kinda hoping Chris made that up cuz he needed something to make him feel better. 2) He either doesn't remember people like ALB or Kacey because he already has a hard time remembering people he doesn't interact with on a daily basis or he's just saying he does to seem nonchalant about it all. 3) Chris probably thinks Asperchu was made by a fan, inspired by him. He really probably forgets everything that went down with ALB. 4) The Megan anger came about because, during the gal-pals revealed as fakers time period, people brought up that Megan was probably his only friend. Which made someone tell Chris that Megan was actually the one that told all the guys at the GamePlace to hate on Chris. Chris even says that Megan thought he was creepy and that his advances were unwanted (even though he claims she perceived them like that... that they weren't really that way... which doesn't make sense because if Megan perceives them as unwanted, they're unwanted; but it's Chris so it won't ever make sense). In the end, it's a LOT easier for Chris to accept that the reason why anyone hates him, or why the trolls do what they do, is because Megan asked them to do it. This way Chris doesn't have to take ANY blame for his actions.

Long story short; as we've already concluded, Christory changes every day so Chris can stay happy.

 

[Super Collie]

How long until there's a Photoshopped cover of Things We Lost In The Fire that has the actors' faces replaced with the Sonichu swag from the picture earlier in this thread?

 

[timtommy]

When it comes to internet trolls, I think Chris has a vague understanding of trollsonas. In the lyrics to Trollsta's Paradise he portrays Clyde Cash as thirteen-year-old boy sat at a computer. It's possible that people who've trolled him online get filed under this vague stereotype in his mind, which would explain how he remembers less about them than people he spent time with in real life.

There are different levels of trolling. Some "trolls" had legitimate contact with Chris in real life, for some all contact was instigated with the purpose of trolling. The degree to which they honestly interacted with Chris varied. The degree to which they tried to humiliate Chris or make him miserable varied. According to my completely made up metric, someone like BlueSpike was a lot "trollier" than Mimms and Lucas. People like Kacey and ABL fall somewhere between them.

Overall, the more someone interacted with Chris' real life affects how well he remembers them. The most memorable are people like Mimms, Lucas, and Megan, who were involved with his life in a real way over an extended period of time. The least memorable are people he just exchanged a few emails with. Other people fall in between.

I think he doesn't remember things for a few reasons.
1. He is a generally muddleheaded and confused person.
2. He doesn't really want to remember them.
3. His life was surreal and didn't make sense. That makes memories confused.

 

[A-№1]

I can see that happening. Chris has never had a great memory and the only things he seems to accurately remember long term is vidya related.

Also all the wrongs supposedly done to him, which mostly consist of things he thinks he was "basically promised" but didn't get. Things like special recognition at graduation, a high school reunion, Megan, and so on. He remembers them (his version of events at least), because he keeps re-hashing them, dwelling on the same things over and over for years on end. He cannot let these things go and move on with his life because he can't be bothered to make any life to move on to.

He doesn't remember most of the trolling because it was essentially just teasing, and the specific details are irrelevant to him. The only thing he bothers to recall about the trolling is he was the victim, because that's the only thing that really matters to him there, because it's always all about Chris.

Video games and toys matter to him, people don't. That's really it.

I would say the only thing that matters to him is himself, and everything else only matters in how it relates to him. Video games and toys are important because they entertain him and give him a sense of worth, but people are just interchangeable blobs who exist solely to provide him with video games and toys and other things he wants.

 

[JULAY]

I would say the only thing that matters to him is himself, and everything else only matters in how it relates to him. Video games and toys are important because they entertain him and give him a sense of worth, but people are just interchangeable blobs who exist solely to provide him with video games and toys and other things he wants.

Classic characteristics of fat autists (and sociopaths).

 

[needlebear]

Confirmation that the Asperchu medallion was lost in the fire. No idea why he was attached to it for any reason. I didn't make it for him but now I'm glad he ended up with it. And consequently lost it. I think I'll make another and maybe send him an autographed photo of it. For $20.

I don't think I ever posted them anywhere before but I think I have some pics of the "small box" as well (who gets attached to a box? Answer: Chris). They're boring but yeah.

 

[TaterBot]

Discussions about Chris remind me of the story of the blind men touching and describing an elephant.

" The only thing about the trolling is... he was the victim, because ... it's always all about Chris." What else was the trolling about?

A few months ago, Chris posted this to Megan on facebook: Megan, I KNOW you and the PLace employee continuously conversed and conspired against me. "Christian is so weird. "
"Tell me about it."
"He hangs on to me, touching me, clinging onto my every word. Ugh."
"I can not stand his shouting outbursts that echos in my after both of those times he stressed out."
"I want to just kill him; destroy his goody-two-shoes nature, soul, heart and all that shit my mashed potato grenade could shatter, but leave his body in tact, so I'm not committed fro murder."
"I just want to ban him from "MY" store forever."
"Yeah! Chris will be banned from "YOUR" store based on the hyped up mal online reputation; he will be out of my life forever. Pending possible nightmares and night terrors to come, but who the fuck cares; His Autistic, Fragile mind will shatter along with his heart after I kiss my homosexual fake boyfriend in front of him!" ""HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA HA!!!!!"

Contrasted with this from 2005: "Ah, for her I would travel even a thousand miles, just to be with her. Fortunately, she lives only about one hour from my house, and I meet her once a week at a closer-to-home social. This feeling, It was and still is,so pure and true, it was like as if I was Born to Love Her.When She Smiles, I feel like I'm Walking on Sunshine as I give replying smile and gaze into her eyes. And her hair is the softest and most warm-tingling. Cloud Nine? I feel like I'm on Ten."

My blind man interpretation of Megan is that she encouraged and played Chris for "video toys and games" bc she knew how he felt. But at the same time, she talked trash behind his back, and when the free supply of stuff dried up, she trolled him to his face. I understand Chris' feelings about her. Rejected, ridiculed, scorned love turned to pain is a powerful emotion. Lately, he seems to have modified that, though, and moved on. Maybe he just moved on from all the others as well. RIP.

 

[just some jerk]

Ok so 1) did Kacey really get left at the alter? Cuz I never heard that part of the cannon. I'm kinda hoping Chris made that up cuz he needed something to make him feel better. 2) He either doesn't remember people like ALB or Kacey because he already has a hard time remembering people he doesn't interact with on a daily basis or he's just saying he does to seem nonchalant about it all. 3) Chris probably thinks Asperchu was made by a fan, inspired by him. He really probably forgets everything that went down with ALB. 4) The Megan anger came about because, during the gal-pals revealed as fakers time period, people brought up that Megan was probably his only friend. Which made someone tell Chris that Megan was actually the one that told all the guys at the GamePlace to hate on Chris. Chris even says that Megan thought he was creepy and that his advances were unwanted (even though he claims she perceived them like that... that they weren't really that way... which doesn't make sense because if Megan perceives them as unwanted, they're unwanted; but it's Chris so it won't ever make sense). In the end, it's a LOT easier for Chris to accept that the reason why anyone hates him, or why the trolls do what they do, is because Megan asked them to do it. This way Chris doesn't have to take ANY blame for his actions.

Long story short; as we've already concluded, Christory changes every day so Chris can stay happy.

I thought Kacey was a complete fabrication? As a relatively new Chris enthusiast, sometimes the (albeit very humorous) style of the wiki, leaves me confused as to what was "real-real
vs "troll-real".

 

[_blank_]

I thought Kacey was a complete fabrication? As a relatively new Chris enthusiast, sometimes the (albeit very humorous) style of the wiki, leaves me confused as to what was "real-real
vs "troll-real".

The only women that he met in real life and has had any significant attachment to are as follows:

Barb: Chris's lifelong partner
The HS Galpal Parade: Next to all of them were apparently given the responsibility of being Chris' friend.
Megan: Only friend he had in reality until he ruined it and versely blamed everyone else for his own stupidity.
Kim: Facebook "friend" and probably deserves sainthood for the amount of shit she's put up with.
Anna: The originator of the Crazy Pacer story. has since become a quasi-white knight but mostly stuck around to feed her own wounded ego. Has been AWOL as of late.
Kacey: Met once is real-life, to which Chris decided to put on the moves by staring at her chest, smelling her, and calling her fat. This led to the so-called Liquid Saga.
Rocky: Chris' on-again, off-again spiritual advisor from a church he has been banned from on occasion, although for Chris she has been more of a detriment since she pretty much gave out personal info to a troll after talking with them for about two minutes on the phone.
The Cherokian Hooker: Mother of two- Chris found her on Craigslist, paid her for some hanky-panky, and gave her a gift basket for her troubles.

The rest of the sweethearts- Ivy, Julie, Blanca, Jackie, and the Wallflower have been either fake women, or women that didn't really have any particular interest in Chris but got lumped in because Chris decided to hound after them.

 

[slep]

Chris doesn't know what day it is

Remember when Chris went ballistic and posted a rebuttal video when he heard of someone saying that Chris would drown if he looked up at the rain (don't ask me to find the video link. It's lost forever in a sea of CWC Derp)? Good Times!