RIP Thread

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The real funny part was that ”GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!” sound bite was used in a lot of GMod and SFM fan made videos at one point in time, but it’s wild to think that it was based on a real life arrest that looks and sounds like something straight out of a movie.

Succulent Chinese Meals™ will never taste or sound good again after this.
 
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Apparently someone died in the Crossfit Games swimming event.


Having done some open water swimming, my complete and total guess would be "kicked in the head by accident" and there were no lifeguards nearby. The Games are not known for their safety. Especially with this sentence:

He said they responded for search and rescue and were not on the scene when the initial call was made. He said the athlete's body was found about an hour later. Faul said CrossFit did have safety personnel on site at the event.

I mean, you really shouldn't need search and rescue if you have enough volunteers in the water (usually at the buoys), but tragedies happen.
 
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Smar Mijou said:
And can he please have an entire MATI dedicated to Dong Gong Jones and Alyssa Mercante/most journoscum, pretty please???
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Unfortunately they have Shinigami Eyes and have stared at each other so their death is at a date certain and cannot be moved.
Day of the Cope said:
Long story short: there was a string of dine-and-dashes going on at the time and Jack was basically in a "wrong place/wrong time" situation.
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Was he, though? The actual arrest details are pretty murky. If they were arresting a dine-and-dash guy, in a restaurant, why wouldn't they simply wait until he tried to pull a runner and then had him dead to rights on it?

I mean like, just wait outside, niggas, like, just arrest him after he commits exactly the crime you were supposedly nabbing him for, but with multiple police witnesses.

I mean these were Australian police, so clearly more mentally retarded even than abbos, but surely they could figure that out, right?
Prokhor Zakharov said:
We should make this a Kiwi Holiday, every August 8th, every Kiwi that can, enjoys a Succulent Chinese Meal in honor of Karlson, may he rest in peace.
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I had Succulent General Tso's Kitty-Cat today in honor.
 
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Prokhor Zakharov said:
Addressing a crowd by saying "Gentlemen" these days would get you branded a bigot and a transphobe.
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He had the perfect voice for delivering that kind of line, too. If you didn't know any better and had only heard that one particular line I think you could mistake him for a well-spoken political outsider that could deliver a rousing speech on the spot.
 
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DickMain said:
He had the perfect voice for delivering that kind of line, too. If you didn't know any better and had only heard that one particular line I think you could mistake him for a well-spoken political outsider that could deliver a rousing speech on the spot.
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And/or Matt Berry. That's who I'd pick for the tribute reenactment.
 
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TrainWreckWatcher said:
I hope the angels didn't touch his penis on the way into heaven.
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For his sake, I hope they DO. 🤷‍♂️

c8.jpg
 
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