Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[John Andrews Stan]

It still baffles me that Chris Chipman thinks anyone cares enough about seeing him dance in a Godzilla suit that they’d be willing to pay him for the privilege. This dude needs to read up on incentives and how they work. He’d get more patrons if he promised to spill the tea on exactly WTF went wrong with his fucking family that resulted in this gooey mess.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

It still baffles me that Chris Chipman thinks anyone cares enough about seeing him dance in a Godzilla suit that they’d be willing to pay him for the privilege. This dude needs to read up on incentives and how they work. He’d get more patrons if he promised to spill the tea on exactly WTF went wrong with his fucking family that resulted in this gooey mess.

Chippy Chris is a rather pathetic but standard example of someone who just wants to be famous and has no real passion for any of the shit he's doing to get there. His rambling boomer vlogs about Blockbuster, movies, and his life aren't taking off, and milking his lunatic faded e-star brother for endorsements hasn't changed that, so he's literally offering to dance for people if they'll throw pennies at him.

It'd be funny or sad if it weren't so mundane. There must be a billion talentless wannabe e-celebs like this on Youtube, Twitch, etc. The only difference with Chris is that he's slightly more successful (emphasize slightly) because he catches some spillover from Film Robert's idiot fanbase. If it weren't for that, his subs would be in the low double digits and most of his views would be permanently stuck in the single digits. Just another no-talent sperg, only pity watched by a few close family members and friends.

 

[Positron]

It doesn't even have the Eddie Murphy dragon.

On the plus side there is no Christina Aguilera song either.

Theres nothing wrong with liking dumb action films and being a fan of genres light on story but heavy on stunts, if you like cheesy action films more power to you. Just don't go around praising the film as the greatest thing ever and not expecting people to laugh at it.

These woke, intellectual folks seems to have forgotten the concept of guilty pleasure. If you genuinely like The Ghostbustesses, for example, or the Rey films, more power to you. But to proclaim these films open a new epoch of cinema and you're making a fool of yourself -- just as Bobby showed the marble-like smoothness of his brain when he called MCU "the watershed moment for cultural advancement".

Down's syndrome is just "a different way of processing [knowledge and intelligence]" -- woke, not even once!

Again we are horrified by the fact that there are people who still believe that Bobby is not a genocidal eugenicist.

"Unmarketable white men":

So if mental disability happens to a white man who claims he wants to kill fags, suddenly the "different way of processing" excuse won't fly!

"...nerds who end up running the world", like Tony Stark!


The all-too-well-rehearsed globalism, urban-metros, fedora, nada nada:



As if he cared about the father of his "friend"!

Bobby stands with women:


+ + + +
Mulan. Turns out Arthur Chu is giving Bob a run for his film-reviewer money -- although they both end up succumbing to Disney's distortion field of wokeness.



I'm not aware of Bobby's finding in his "research". Indeed Chinese folk poetry introduces Mulan by portraying her warping fabric -- a typical female activity. It doesn't make dramatic sense to portray her as a tomboy or an "asskicker" either: the whole point of the story is her sacrificing herself for the sake of her filial duty and triumphs over odds. The "seek your true destiny and be who you really are" interpretation is crass Americanism.


So Gong Li's character is a feminist emancipator? I guess it doesn't matter. What should matter is: did Gong Li show her assets?

Cow crossover with Cuck Wendig: Bobby knows a super secret place to get contraband!


Dob Chipman:

 

[grandpasatan]

He's always hideous, obviously, but does he look extra weird in this video to anyone else?

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

He's always hideous, obviously, but does he look extra weird in this video to anyone else?

View attachment 1577212

He looks like some face-within-a-face Lovecraftian horror. And that's before taking the sickly green hue into account.

 

[Bolo]

He is getting old, and since he lost some weight, his face is starting sagging.

Also for the love of god, learn how to mask your green screen Robert, it takes 2 seconds.

 

[Assorted Nuts]

He's always hideous, obviously, but does he look extra weird in this video to anyone else?

View attachment 1577212)

Bob has been doing this shit for years on end and he still can't figure out how to mitigate the tint of his green screen, excuse me, green wall. It makes him look even more like a swamp creature than usual.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Faces sag with age because gravity is always at work. He looks like he grew his hair out in the spots where it still grows. Is this a recent shot? Egads.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

Dob Chipman:
View attachment 1577003

That Team Rocket picture is giving me "Thomas Jefferson" in the "I met god, she's black" shirt drawing vibes.

He's always hideous, obviously, but does he look extra weird in this video to anyone else?

View attachment 1577212

His head looks like it's been photoshopped onto his body because it's too big for it, as does his ham hand, and his facial features look like they've been photoshopped onto his head because aside from the nose they look too small for it.

 

[Marissa Moira]

His head looks like it's been photoshopped onto his body because it's too big for it, as does his ham hand, and his facial features look like they've been photoshopped onto his head because aside from the nose they look too small for it.

No, his skeleton is trying to break free of it's prison of flesh.

 

[Red Hood]

Cultural cringe truly is a strange phenomenon.

Loving China's unabashedly, openly authoritarian government is good.

While the US, where we at least make a show of caring about things like freedom and equality even when we don't neccessarily pull it off, is bad. What a time to be alive.

And the funny thing is, much as Bob simps for his Asian girls...it's not going to work. "Oh, my culture sucks, want to hear about the latest Mahvel movie?" isn't a personality, it's a cry for help. Desperate people will say anything they think will make the other person like them. Does Bob secretly want to be liked despite his abhorrent personality?

That Team Rocket picture is giving me "Thomas Jefferson" in the "I met god, she's black" shirt drawing vibes.


His head looks like it's been photoshopped onto his body because it's too big for it, as does his ham hand, and his facial features look like they've been photoshopped onto his head because aside from the nose they look too small for it.

Jeez, if that's what's all the rage I should redraw Barrett from FFVII as basically Duke Nukem with a gatling gun for a hand.

I'M SURE THAT WON'T START A SHITSTORM.

 

[Knyttet]

The only way to really point out how bad MovieBob's writing is to compare it good reviewer. The only one that comes to mind right now is Mike Kermode so I'd appreciate any other input.

Comparing Moviebob to Mark Kermode is like comparing a discarded McDonald's meal to a 9-course wine pairing at Noma.

 

[ditto]

He's always hideous, obviously, but does he look extra weird in this video to anyone else?

View attachment 1577212

He's built like a South Park character.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

He's always hideous, obviously, but does he look extra weird in this video to anyone else?

View attachment 1577212

I had to go back and find a recent picture so I could rationalize that neck singularity Robert's got going on there. Any lower and he could use his tongue to fish around for change.

Spoiler

And, yes indeed, the Chipman lads have chins four centimetres above their hearts. I'm assuming the family shrub contains lots of examples of strokes and TIAs.

I'm not sure what disgusts me more - the Tic-Tac teefs, the six inch long, sparse, wispy body hair or the fact an adult did that to their thumbnail.

 

[Bland Crumbs]

I had to go back and find a recent picture so I could rationalize that neck singularity Robert's got going on there. Any lower and he could use his tongue to fish around for change.

Spoiler

View attachment 1577725

And, yes indeed, the Chipman lads have chins four centimetres above their hearts. I'm assuming the family shrub contains lots of examples of strokes and TIAs.

I'm not sure what disgusts me more - the Tic-Tac teefs, the six inch long, sparse, wispy body hair or the fact an adult did that to their thumbnail.

All the bad genes.

That shirt reveals that Bob has even less muscle mass than I thought. Bench 300lbs? I suspect he would have trouble with the bar.

 

[Marissa Moira]

All the bad genes.

That shirt reveals that Bob has even less muscle mass than I thought. Bench 300lbs? I suspect he would have trouble with the bar.

He thought benching meant how much food you can each off a bench.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

He's always hideous, obviously, but does he look extra weird in this video to anyone else?

View attachment 1577212

Jesus, he looks way uglier than before the lockdowns.

 

[Niggerman]

Spoiler

View attachment 1577725

Why does this look like a scene from a horror movie about gay raping hill billies?

 

[Mola Ram]

Why does this look like a scene from a horror movie about gay raping hill billies?

Because art imitates life.

Bob's thesaurusitis is clearly a result of overcompensating for the fact that he must be intensely aware how much he looks like he got lost on his way home from the short bus.

 

[Foltest]

His brother has a more nautral smile while Bob "smiles" like an autistic moron.