Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[AnOminous]

Have you guys ever stopped to imagine what Bob's daily life is like? Like, to actually picture his routine?

This guy tweets so fucking much. He probably wakes up and immediately opens Twitter to see whether some Asian lesbian needs rescue. No shower or brushing teeth, I assume. Would cut off valuable time from his tweeting.

And the rest... I don't know. He probably spends hours making shitty videos and speeding up his voice, but I imagine he keeps taking breaks and looking at Twitter.

Oh, and of course, eating. Tweeting and eating take probably 80% of Bob's time. He just loves tweating, heh.

A day of Bob
>wake up from a dream of being dominated by a Superior Woman from a Superior Future
>befuddlement
>realize you're still Bob Chipman
>sob copiously that you didn't die in your sleep
>immediately open Twitter looking for waifus to rescue
>none
>realize you need to shit immediately because of your horrible diet
>shit yourself
>do nothing
>tweet furiously about how horrible Trump is
>surely this will scare up some waifus
>nothing
>clean up enough to go out to get a small amount of McDonald's for an average-sized person
>get laughed at on the street for your Mario outfit
>after an hour spent eating a small amount of McDonald's consisting of 8,000 calories, get back to Twitter
>defend all that is good by raving about genocide and how you want to kill all who insult Islam Mario
>go out for another small amount of McDonald's
>stalk Lindsay Ellis some more
>sob yourself to sleep only to repeat exactly this the next day

 

[Strange Wilderness]

Have you guys ever stopped to imagine what Bob's daily life is like? Like, to actually picture his routine?

This guy tweets so fucking much. He probably wakes up and immediately opens Twitter to see whether some Asian lesbian needs rescue. No shower or brushing teeth, I assume. Would cut off valuable time from his tweeting.

And the rest... I don't know. He probably spends hours making shitty videos and speeding up his voice, but I imagine he keeps taking breaks and looking at Twitter.

Oh, and of course, eating. Tweeting and eating take probably 80% of Bob's time. He just loves tweating, heh.

I have wondered the same thing myself. His Tweets have no rhyme or reason to them, he jumps between giving his terrible hot takes on current events, to sperging about movies, to random science trivia. He has to give his enlightened smooth brained take on everything under the sun and for the love of God I don't know how he can Tweet out so much verbal diarrhea on every subject known to man. Is there some mario themed dartboard in his basement that has a dozen topics labeled on it and whatever he hits he makes a Tweet about?

I agree with you on Bobs daily routine being nothing but Tweeting, eating fairly small amounts of food, and drinking non-stop except for the making shitty videos part. The guy has made only a handful of new videos this year, preferring to re-upload videos from his YouTube channel to the Escapist site instead of using his free time trapped in a basement to make new videos. one of the reasons Bob has been throwing a tantrum about films going to streaming instead of the theaters is because it shows just how little of a life he has, his life right now is turn on phone to look up Twitter before turning on the TV and every now and then making a Mickey Ds run or cooking something that would destroy an ordinary mans digestive tract. He spent the past several months doing nothing but eat junk food and complain on the Internet. Is it any wonder why he got his ass fired from the Escapist?

 

[AnOminous]

Is it any wonder why he got his ass fired from the Escapist?

All the stuff you listed prior to this question is stuff idiots at Escapist do on a daily basis. Imagine the level you have to exaggerate all this before you get fired from Escapist because even the people there think you're getting a little cringy with it all. Reminds me of a cartoon about a white supremacist who got kicked out of the Klan because they sometimes wanted to talk about something other than niggers.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Naomi Wu is an e-thot that does tech videos with her big silicone enhanced tits on prominent display. I know because her videos are on every platform, she's almost impossible to miss.

So she's basically the "What is a Turnaround?" woman. Only with less self-awareness.

I always get a little bummed and depressed around Christmas, but this year I realized that no matter what happens to me, I'm not Bob Chipman. I'm never going to have to look in a mirror and see Bob Chipman staring back at me. I'm never going to be called a creep by people I thought were my friends. I'm never going to spend a tropical vacation hunched over a dumbphone tweeting about shit that doesn't matter, and I'm never going to live near a cultural wonderland that I'll never visit because I'm too busy lusting after cartoon lesbians who wouldn't give me the time of day even if they were real.

And suddenly I feel happier than George Bailey at the end of "It's a Wonderful Life." Say what you will about Bob, but he certainly puts the difficulties of life into perspective.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

You can tell by the amount of emojis Robert uses that he’s fucking miserable as ever. That made me think: When’s the last time I saw Bob look/sound/seem like he’s in a good mood?

The only times I can recall him seeming upbeat were when he was with his niece. Even at cons where he was a speaker, he just seemed awkward and like he wanted to go home. Has he literally ever been in a good mood?

 

[Vesperus]

Have you guys ever stopped to imagine what Bob's daily life is like? Like, to actually picture his routine?

This guy tweets so fucking much. He probably wakes up and immediately opens Twitter to see whether some Asian lesbian needs rescue. No shower or brushing teeth, I assume. Would cut off valuable time from his tweeting.

And the rest... I don't know. He probably spends hours making shitty videos and speeding up his voice, but I imagine he keeps taking breaks and looking at Twitter.

Oh, and of course, eating. Tweeting and eating take probably 80% of Bob's time. He just loves tweating, heh.

it's ~1:15am in Boston and he's still tweeting. I guess he doesn't have a early start in the morning?

 

[AnOminous]

it's ~1:15am in Boston and he's still tweeting. I guess he doesn't have a early start in the morning?

To do what?

 

[Vesperus]

To do what?

Lead us to a superior future based on genocide and moon wheat?

Or eat chicken nuggets for breakfast. But I'm betting it's moon wheat.

 

[AnOminous]

Or eat chicken nuggets for breakfast. But I'm betting it's moon wheat.

When has Bob even eaten anything directly from wheat? Why would he even care about wheat?

 

[Vesperus]

When has Bob even eaten anything directly from wheat? Why would he even care about wheat?

I guess burger buns?

I'm reasonably sure Bob thinks chicken tendies are a sort of fruit you can grow hydroponically, if you add enough science.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

When has Bob even eaten anything directly from wheat? Why would he even care about wheat?

Robert cares about wheat at least as much as he cares about portion control:



I think Chris’s kids would be lucky to get fast food every night instead of bacteria bombs made in that toxic dump of a kitchen.

Speaking of the brothers, they have a new podcast out. I haven’t listened yet but safe to say it’s simultaneously boring and embarrassing: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/17288870

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Robert cares about wheat at least as much as he cares about portion control:

View attachment 1803540

I think Chris’s kids would be lucky to get fast food every night instead of bacteria bombs made in that toxic dump of a kitchen.

Speaking of the brothers, they have a new podcast out. I haven’t listened yet but safe to say it’s simultaneously boring and embarrassing: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/17288870

Is this the most useless tweet ever written? Why is he just taking a piece of advertising and saying that it's a good idea and may accomplish the thing that the advertisement is clearly meant to show that it accomplishes? This is some of the saddest twitter addiction I've ever seen.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Speaking of Robert being a fat trashy fuck, I’d forgotten about this masterpiece:

This shit shows up in his Google Image results.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Russell actually has a twin sister he was separated from at birth.

Does he? The more you know.

Bob's opinion of WALL-E is pretty funny, considering a plausible timeline for how we get from here to the world in WALL-E, and a species of sedentary, morbidly obese morons buried in their own garbage, is a few generations of Chipman-type people. That's the Superior Future we'd get if led by Chipmans.

I don't think it's just that. His inceldom is just one facet of his misery. He also doesn't have any real friends, and has recently had his faced rubbed in the fact that even the online people he thought were his friends actually despise him and were just looking for an excuse to cancel him for being an embarrassment.

1) Bob and Chris are trying to emulate WALL-E on Earth, so yeah.
2) that's true, but the friend who cancelled him was someone who Bob was trying to fuck, so you could make an argument for that being down to his inceldom too.

Even when Bob gets his robot body in the Superior Future he will still be angry and alone in life. Robot Bob will still be such a smug unlikable asshole even the future the other cyborgs and fembots won't dare go near him. Much like today he will spend all his days alone in his cabin on the spaceship. He won't go exploring alien worlds or studying the fantastic phenomena the ship encounters. He'll be glued to the future HoloNets equivalent of Twitter posting how the spaceship shouldn't visit farm colonies because they are stupid for pursuing an agrarian lifestyle while watching the 30th remake of Guardians of the Galaxy where a tranny black lady is Star Lord. He'd be a more autistic, fatter, unlikable version of Barclay from Star Trek.

No, in the Superior Future Bob would be in the gulag for defaming the glorious memory of Eternal President Bernie, who lives on in our hearts even though he kicked the bucket thirteen years ago.

He thinks that a left-wing dictatorship would be the only way for him to get his superior future, but he doesn't know that actual leftists hate him at worst and, at best, view him as a useful idiot.

I don't know how he can Tweet out so much verbal diarrhea on every subject known to man. Is there some mario themed dartboard in his basement that has a dozen topics labeled on it and whatever he hits he makes a Tweet about?

The Bob Chapman Tweeting Process is actually pretty simple.
1) look at Twitter accounts of women I consider hot
2) parrot exactly what they're saying and defend their honour
3) wait for sex
4) realise sex isn't forthcoming, go back to step 1)

Reminds me of a cartoon about a white supremacist who got kicked out of the Klan because they sometimes wanted to talk about something other than niggers.

I always heard it as a Northern racist getting kicked out of a Mississippi branch of the KKK because the local KKK branch was made up of farmers who treated the Klan as a social club that occasionally lynched black people and committed other crimes against humanity, but the Northerner constantly talked about race and became so boring/racist that he got kicked out of the Klan.

To do what?

Go on a date with Rosie Palms.

Speaking of the brothers, they have a new podcast out. I haven’t listened yet but safe to say it’s simultaneously boring and embarrassing: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/17288870

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Bob Chapman

1. Imagine how he chimps when people get his name wrong and call him Robert Chapman. And I bet it happens a LOT. “Don’t you know who I am?!” Probably resists the urge to choke the offender out à la Ethan Ralph.

2. Robert Lewis Chipman...Mark David Chapman...how have the similarities never occurred to me before now?

Also, is it generally accepted that he wrote his own (rejected) Wikipedia entry? Because it sure reads like it. Imagine how much it hurt him, and how difficult it was, to scrape together this sad excuse for a “personal life” section. He put his education information there in order not to leave it blank, then mentions that he has a brother. Ouch.

 

[Positron]

Speaking of the brothers, they have a new podcast out. I haven’t listened yet but safe to say it’s simultaneously boring and embarrassing: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/17288870

Another one done in Chris's car:


Just yesterday we've speculated Bobby's view on architecture, and here he answers us: "softboys" love classical architecture.


Leftie hardboys like Bobby, on the other hand, can't bear to see statues:


People who vote Trump should "stop being part of the problem". The world, the Superior Future, will go on without them:


The way we know "Emma Evans" will not be left behind by Bobby's Superior Future is that she (I presume this is a she?) is a prostitute and an e-beggar:


Bobby is pro-tranny, pro-prostitution, and pro-abortion (even though Lindsay The Abortion has found him creepy):


But when a husband wants his obviously deranged wife to get help, Bobby wishes bad things on him:


This is a tragic story and I think the husband has handled it inappropriately. He should apologize to the wife, have a serious yet sympathetic conversation with her, and find her the psychological help she desperately needs. Having said that, his heart is in the right place in that he recognizes that this is a maladaptive bereavement behavior. I don't, contra Bobby and that so-called "lesbian" male he replies to, want bad thing to happen to either the husband or the wife -- and I count a divorce to be a bad thing: she is guaranteed to get worse if she gets a divorce.

Of course that nutter is a man, which makes him a woman:


+ + + +
The Elites have spoken!


PedoJewRat bullshit:


Peter Coffin goes full retard and full conspiracy theorist. It takes such insane genius to make Bobby look like the sane one:


Jimmy Dore. No fucking idea.




BTW. New Big Picture. 43 minutes on something he calls "The Other Huntergate"

Does Bobby show his face in the videos any more?

 

[Karl der Grosse]

Even when Bob gets his robot body in the Superior Future he will still be angry and alone in life. Robot Bob will still be such a smug unlikable asshole even the future the other cyborgs and fembots won't dare go near him. Much like today he will spend all his days alone in his cabin on the spaceship. He won't go exploring alien worlds or studying the fantastic phenomena the ship encounters. He'll be glued to the future HoloNets equivalent of Twitter posting how the spaceship shouldn't visit farm colonies because they are stupid for pursuing an agrarian lifestyle while watching the 30th remake of Guardians of the Galaxy where a tranny black lady is Star Lord. He'd be a more autistic, fatter, unlikable version of Barclay from Star Trek.

Bob never said anyone else deserved robot bodies and spaceships. Just Bob. And if Bob ever did get a robot body and a spaceship, he would spend all of his time trying to figure out a way to nuke all of the wasteland ghouls, chapo twitter, high school athletes, other film critics, anyone who has ever voted Republican, and everyone else who's ever made fun of him. It's a long list, that's why he would want nukes. Even with a robot body it would take too long to go after them one at a time.

But he'd have a holographic Mario to be his friend, so there's that.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Another one done in Chris's car:

Did he just get out of the shower or finish a run? Why is he so greasy? He's got what looks like some weird damp spots on his hoodie.

Does Bobby show his face in the videos any more?

He no longer has someone else calling the shots/paying him so he's completely stopped putting himself in front of the camera. Also that's the Bigger Picture which is a collection of his older videos that he sews together to make an abomination that he calls content. I just like pointing that out..

 

[blablabla]

bob life is chronic masturbation and eating shitty food

Robert cares about wheat at least as much as he cares about portion control:

View attachment 1803540

I think Chris’s kids would be lucky to get fast food every night instead of bacteria bombs made in that toxic dump of a kitchen.

Speaking of the brothers, they have a new podcast out. I haven’t listened yet but safe to say it’s simultaneously boring and embarrassing: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/17288870

what a fucking inbred white trash retard hick slob

 

[The Skeptical Tomato X5]

Did he just get out of the shower or finish a run? Why is he so greasy? He's got what looks like some weird damp spots on his hoodie.

I'm convinced people like Chris possess some kind of aposematic grease glands which let people know to stay far away from them. Either that or he just doesn't shower.