Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Flexo]

The humanoid blotch thinks his mind would be uploaded into some kind of machine that would let him revisit his memory bank at ease.

I'm pretty sure only a few select minds would have their minds uploaded that way, so as not to lose their knowledge and expertise, and for their contributions to important areas. Which freaking film reviewer would be worthy of getting that treatment? Siskel and Ebert are long gone, so those are no-no's. Entertainment? Their works are well-archived, but I'm not sure if their minds would be considered for uploading.

Sorry, bloberto, but your pie-in-the-sky idea is not only unfeasible, your mind would be considered cloud space clutter that could be better used for the mind of a neurosurgeon or a machinery expert. Your fate is the same as ours, death and oblivion.

To be fair, Bobby's brain could probably fit on a 3.5" floppy.

...and whatever this thing is:

That's from the original Godzilla vs Kong.

You may enjoy this book.

Crusader: By Horse to Jerusalem: Severin, Tim: 9781842122785: Amazon.com: Books

Crusader: By Horse to Jerusalem [Severin, Tim] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Crusader: By Horse to Jerusalem

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I'd rather the aliens anally probe Blob than a poor cow. Cows are useful.

Well they tried but given Bob and Cows are about the same size and aliens have trouble telling earth life apart...

Hey, i even doubt that he knows that extended periods of zero-G will atrophiate your muscles due to the lack of force and astronauts have to do exercise regularly so when they go back to earth they aren't as soft and puny as a pudding.
I bet that information would be Bob's nightmare. To realize his "superior future" still relies on strength and bodily prowess

So what you're saying is that Bob has been training his body for zero-G...

Bob's vision of a "superior future" reminds me of the opening for the Valerian (which has aged like milk).

Reminder: That was his "movie of the year" if he could have nominated just that sequence.

Like no joke, Bob positively WORSHIPS that opening.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

It's funny how people always moaning about grimdark and mean-spirited shit, and saying they want more positive media, are such miserable motherfuckers.

Watching a movie or a show that has a positive attitude isn't a substitute for actually being a pleasant person.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

So what you're saying is that Bob has been training his body for zero-G...

Nah, i think that if he went into zero-G, his blubber would spiral out of control and he would become, quite ironically, into a blob.

Reminder: That was his "movie of the year" if he could have nominated just that sequence.

Like no joke, Bob positively WORSHIPS that opening.

What's the big deal about that movie? I didn't watched it for shit, so i wouldn't know.

It's funny how people always moaning about grimdark shit, and saying they want more positive media, are such miserable motherfuckers.

Watching a movie or a show that has a positive attitude isn't a substitute for actually being a pleasant person.

I would say, as an avid fan of Warhammer and Kenshi, that despite a setting being grimdark there can be very optimistic stories (and hilarious ones) within it. The usual thing that is paraded about grimdark settings is about how hopeless and horrible everything is, even if there is great tales of heroism and people fighting against all odds and winning.

But in this case i think that the movie would fill Bob's hardon for a superior future of aliens and spaceships where everyone works towards a greater good and there is no friction nor conflict in between because everyone believes in the same ideals.

 

[ChampFantana]

His niece has confirmed mental problems to the point Chris was E-begging for money to pay for her medicine, so it's likely Chris's son might also have mental problems. Ironically Bob actually gets along with his niece and nephew better than his brother. He watches Paw Patrol with them, takes them to the mall, and sends them videos of Godzilla fights to entertain them. When you see Bob with his niece and nephew you briefly forget what an asshole he is and see an uncle trying to give them a good time to the point where its almost sweet. His brother by contrast is content to let them roam around a house of filth and make no effort to encourage their intellectual development, before begging on the Internet to pay for their medicine.

That's because they are his intellectual peers, and can't look down on him. (Yet.)

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I love how this is one of the top results of typing, "Yes I do kid, yes I do", into Google image search.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

You may enjoy this book.
https://www.amazon.com/Crusader-Horse-Jerusalem-Tim-Severin/dp/1842122789

I'll give it a go.

 

[Zombie Dealership]

It's funny how people always moaning about grimdark and mean-spirited shit, and saying they want more positive media, are such miserable motherfuckers.

Watching a movie or a show that has a positive attitude isn't a substitute for actually being a pleasant person.

Exactly. Entertainment isn't a substitute for being the type of person commonly associated with bowel cancer. Bob and his ilk either want to drown themselves in false positivity or to drag us all down with them depending on the day.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Exactly. Entertainment isn't a substitute for being the type of person commonly associated with bowel cancer. Bob and his ilk either want to drown themselves in false positivity or to drag us all down with them depending on the day.

In Bob's mind, entertainment and consuming product are valid substitutes for a personality.

 

[Zombie Dealership]

In Bob's mind, entertainment and consuming product are valid substitutes for a personality.

Bob never grew up mentally and it shows in everything he does from his sorry attempts to analyze film, to his attempts at fostering one sided friendships, to even his choices of meals. He's a man-child who can't handle reality and chooses to live in his preferred fictions instead because they don't expect anything of him.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Bob never grew up mentally and it shows in everything he does from his sorry attempts to analyze film, to his attempts at fostering one sided friendships, to even his choices of meals. He's a man-child who can't handle reality and chooses to live in his preferred fictions instead because they don't expect anything of him.

Bob acts like a primary school-aged kid who got put into an adult's body.

If you'd gone to me when I was eleven and asked me whether I wanted to live in a basement flat, watch films, play vidya and eat MacDonalds all day, I'd say yes. That's basically what Robert does, and it's nowhere near as fulfilling as he thought it would be.

 

[Zombie Dealership]

Bob acts like a primary school-aged kid who got put into an adult's body.

If you'd gone to me when I was eleven and asked me whether I wanted to live in a basement flat, watch films, play vidya and eat MacDonalds all day, I'd say yes. That's basically what Robert does, and it's nowhere near as fulfilling as he thought it would be.

He forgot the golden rule of "If you love something, never do it as your day job" and now he can't even use his escapism to actually escape and so he wallows and lashes out but is still unable to bring himself to actually do anything to fix his state of being. I doubt anything will get through to him now, even if it risked his life.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I just know that this Wall Street thing is really disturbing Bob.

He'll make the obligatory comment here and there about how much he hates the rich fatcats, just to keep up appearances, but I'm sure he's terrified that Reddit shitlords are capable of fucking his precious neolib establishment in the ass.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I'm sure he's terrified that Reddit shitlords are capable of fucking his precious neolib establishment in the ass.

For him, this is 2016 all over again. He was convinced that the people would be good little serfs and vote for Hillary, endless foreign war and neoliberalism. When that didn't happen he threw a tantrum and blamed populism, and it looks like that's what he'll do as he looks at what's basically a digital peasants' revolt.

 

[Chilson]

As we have inevitably circled back to Bob worshiping Valerian for no other reason than "I want this", has Bob ever talked about the Expanse? I have not seen if he has and am wondering what his reaction would be.

Would he sing all its glories because its all about corporations abusing and experimenting on the weak working class belters? Or would he hate it because it portrays humanity's future in space as rather bleak?

 

[GreeneCoDeputy]

I just know that this Wall Street thing is really disturbing Bob.

He'll make the obligatory comment here and there about how much he hates the rich fatcats, just to keep up appearances, but I'm sure he's terrified that Reddit shitlords are capable of fucking his precious neolib establishment in the ass.

He uses the opportunity to prove how much smarter he is than those naïve anti-capitalist leftists. He saw this coming from a mile away because this sort of thing happens all the time in Robert's reality.

Followed up with a nonsensical response accusing 90% of the GOP of being secret anti-Semites.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

He uses the opportunity to prove how much smarter he is than those naïve anti-capitalist leftists. He saw this coming from a mile away because this sort of thing happens all the time in Robert's reality.

Followed up with a nonsensical response accusing 90% of the GOP of being secret anti-Semites.

View attachment 1881051

If the first thing you think of when you hear ”banker”, ”elite” or ”cosmopolitan” is ”Jew” you just might be an anti-Semite.

 

[Zombie Dealership]

If the first thing you think of when you hear ”banker”, ”elite” or ”cosmopolitan” is ”Jew” you just might be an anti-Semite.

It goes well with his hatred of blue collar workers, gamers, conservatives, liberals, anyone in the south, etc...

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

It goes well with his hatred of blue collar workers, gamers, conservatives, liberals, anyone in the south, etc...

The word ”misanthrope” has never been more justly applied.

 

[Flexo]

Does he have it right?

Gods no. It's amazing how the more you look into a topic, the worse Bob's takes become.

I'm not going to lie, I have no idea how the stock market works aside from "Buy low sell high"

Louis Rossman has some good explanations. You can also read the original breakdown:

https://patriots.win/p/11SK7KTZoM/on-gamestop-why-hedge-funds-are-/

1) er... ein Bier, bitte. Ich bin ein Berliner.

So translate for the rest of us?

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

So translate for the rest of us?

That's all the German I know, so...