Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Godzilla@1989]

It really the cinematic equivalent of an average sized mcdonald's meal.

Personally, I prefer the Kiryu Saga, Biollante, and GMK. Nothing do they kick ass but they also have more interesting plot ideas.

 

[A Watchful Ghost]

I don't know why Bob is so hung up on Snyder's shitty DC movies when Wonder Woman 84 proved that women can make shitty overly long and self indulgent DC movies too.

Insert "Him being angry that fans got what they wanted, and he was made to look like a complete fool", and "Autistic resentment for the bullies that like his movies" here.

He didn’t like WW84 either, it’s where his line about “Diana missing Chris Pine’s penis” originated and I’m sure he’s said that the scene where Wonder Woman saves the Arab kids was geopolitically awkward during one of his Twitter rants because Gal Gadot is from Israel.

Wow, way to champion women, fatass. Anything else you want to reveal to the public?

 

[King Dead]

It really the cinematic equivalent of an average sized mcdonald's meal.

I mean, I'm not the biggest Godzilla fan or anything, but I appreciate the movies and enjoy them. I didn't go into lizard vs. monkey with really any sort of high expectations, just wanting a competent movie that delivered on some monster fighting. Instead I got a long slog of boring characters doing unrelated shit I didn't care about, and barely any fights outside of what was already shown in the trailers. It's not like I'm gonna be upset that it isn't high art or anything, but they couldn't even put out a movie that I could actually enjoy, outside of a few shut-my-brain-off minutes.

In summation:

Bob, meanwhile, goes full consoomer and refuses to discuss any of the glaringly obvious negatives about the movie, reducing it to "I clapped when I saw thing I recognized!"-tier corporate dicksucking. I don't see for the life of me how anyone actually takes his opinions seriously, or take him seriously as a critic.

 

[MirrorNoir]

I don't get it. Who is that?

Alexander Skarsgard, actor known for being eye candy for people

 

[Ita Mori]

Anything else you want to reveal to the public?

Don't give him ideas. He'll think the public wants to hear his freezer cabinet IQ takes.

 

[MirrorNoir]

Though, Meg's father referring to his daughter as Megatron in A Wrinkle In Time (the book), many years before Transformers was a thing, will never not be funny to me. Did they do it in the movie? I'm guessing not, but I did not see it because woke bullshit ahead of time.

So wait, that bit in family guy where Peter changes Meg's birth certificate to change her first name to Megatron was not Seth randomly coming up with a joke about Peter's sociopathy and a generic pop culture joke about Meg=Megatron, but A Wrinkle In Time shout-out?

 

[RockVolnutt]

Bob's reading too much into run-of-the-mill capeshit as usual.

He was sperging about the Tuskegee Experiment and HeLa last week, which wasn't explored in depth by this week's episode with Isaiah Bradley only getting a quick mention in expository dialogue confirming that the new super soldier serum was derived by isolating the compound in his blood.

So I have my doubts that the show is going to use the Flag Smashers to comment on the Middle East.

The script he wrote with MatPat had the idea that the show's going to reveal the Flag Smashers are actually the good guys for wanting to destroy the state and establish a world government which are "reflective of the beliefs of the Disney corporation". One of the obvious Bob-isms in it and I think anything like that being in one of these would be surreal.

The only idea he's had so far that's reasonable is thinking US Agent might be a villain but that's an obvious hack move that everybody can see a mile away. Usually other misinformed people like him jumping to conclusions because the character is canonically right-wing in the comics and assuming he's a turbo-bigot there instead of an 80s/90s anti-hero. The show actually has been surprisingly good at not doing that so far.

If it ends without MAGA strawman US Agent, Nazi Sharon Carter, Flag Smashers being either good or a false flag, direct X-Men references, or a race argument between Sam and Bucky then Bob will be 2 for 2 in guessing absolutely nothing right with these shows.

 

[UserAccess]

Which could be a fine review if the reviewer weren't so hilariously pretentious.

Hell, I enjoyed Alien: Resurrection. Under no circumstances would I say it was a "good" movie, but I was in the mood to eat popcorn and scream "AAA MONSTER!" So I am in no position to cast shade on "Monkey punched lizard!"

Absolutely! Nobody funneling their farts directly to their nose like Bob gets to take this approach, though. Dude shits on Sonic and Snyder cut fans - not just the movies, but the people that liked them - because his refined artistic palate embraces King of the Monsters and pedo-adjacent Cuties.

 

[MirrorNoir]

The script he wrote with MatPat had the idea that the show's going to reveal the Flag Smashers are actually the good guys for wanting to destroy the state and establish a world government which are "reflective of the beliefs of the Disney corporation". One of the obvious Bob-isms in it and I think anything like that being in one of these would be surreal.

The only idea he's had so far that's reasonable is thinking US Agent might be a villain but that's an obvious hack move that everybody can see a mile away. Usually other misinformed people like him jumping to conclusions because the character is canonically right-wing in the comics and assuming he's a turbo-bigot there instead of an 80s/90s anti-hero. The show actually has been surprisingly good at not doing that so far.

If it ends without MAGA strawman US Agent, Nazi Sharon Carter, Flag Smashers being either good or a false flag, direct X-Men references, or a race argument between Sam and Bucky then Bob will be 2 for 2 in guessing absolutely nothing right with these shows.

Part of the reason they can't make USAgent evil is that Disney's going to want to continue to make Avengers film and they've basically got 2/3rds of the West Coast Avengers roster (IE the most successful Avengers spin-off) on hand to keep the Avengers going. USAgent, Scarlet Witch, Hawkeye, Vision, War Machine, Hank Pym, and OG Wasp are on hands and assuming relations are kept up with Sony, Julia Carpenter, aka Spider-Woman/Madam Webb and Mockingbird as well depending on if they decide to keep Agents of SHIELD canon.

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

What film industry are you fucking talking about Bob? There's nothing in cinemas anymore except capeshit, Transformers and Mission Impossible. And while the latter is pretty kino, I'd much rather watch Tom Cruise's latest documented suicide attempt on Netflix, where I can also enjoy a fuckton of varied content, including a bunch of foreign language shit no cinema chain would touch with a ten-foot pole.

Fuck cinemas and fuck Bob.

Too bad that it’s the studios pumping out nothing but capeshit and franchises, and thanks to this pandemic, expect them to double down sadly.

Yeah, it’s really sad that these studios and companies have run out of ideas. These past couple of years have been stagnant.

When was the last time, someone at WB or Disney came up with a idea that wasn’t generic capeshit or Disney princess bullshit? Or something that wasn’t a poorly made reboot or some quirky, autistic mess like Steven Universe and She-Ra?

 

[Positron]

Cretin woman! How dare you care about Americans!


"P.S.: Ted Cruz! Go fuck yourself!"


+ + + +

I mean, why not? It isn't as if GvK respects science or common sense?

Falcon. Bobby's erudition once again proves too much for his fans:

Now that the notes of the Zodiac Killer has supposedly been cracked, someone might want to take a stab at Bobby's tweets as a challenge.





K-pop:

 

[Apotheosis of the Liver]

I was glad to not watch Godzilla vs Kong in theatres. Watching at home let me wander off to make a drink during the teenager scenes, and laugh uproariously with the people I was watching it with when the stupid shit happened.

Spoiler

I still can't get over that Godzilla drilled a hole to hollow earth in like ten minutes, I mean just how? I know we needed to get everyone in one location but seriously.

 

[TerminalTryHard]

I was glad to not watch Godzilla vs Kong in theatres. Watching at home let me wander off to make a drink during the teenager scenes, and laugh uproariously with the people I was watching it with when the stupid shit happened.

Spoiler

I still can't get over that Godzilla drilled a hole to hollow earth in like ten minutes, I mean just how? I know we needed to get everyone in one location but seriously.

I'm glad I'm not the only one blown away by just how fucking stupid that scene was.

Also I'm glad I didn't watch GvK in theatres because that movie was not worth the retarded cost of a movie ticket.

 

[Lensherr]

One of the most frustrating things for me about Bob as a critic is how he constantly tries to paint schlock (mainly capeshit and kaiju movies) as the pinnacle of culture.

It would be one thing if he wasn’t such a pretentious asswipe and had the self-awareness to recognize that these movies are not high art, even though they can still be enjoyable. But no, Bob has to try overly-hard to justify his tastes, so he spends all his time splooging over the latest big-budget Hollywood pap and proclaiming that it’s totally intellectual while barely paying any attention to actually challenging/adult movies*. It’s the attitude of a lot of teenagers whose tastes haven’t quite matured, but Bob is a 40 year-old man who’s been perpetually stuck in this phase for the duration of his life.

*I would like to see him try to analyze a movie like There Will Be Blood or A Serious Man just to laugh at how wildly he misses the point and out of his element he is when not reviewing movies made for 12 year-olds.

 

[Tronathon242]

I'm glad I'm not the only one blown away by just how fucking stupid that scene was.

Also I'm glad I didn't watch GvK in theatres because that movie was not worth the retarded cost of a movie ticket.

As stupid as that was, I found the spider robot uploading an energy signature to power Mecha Godzilla and the greatest assist to Kong and Godzilla beig flask of Wild Turkey to be among the stupidest things I have ever seen in my life. Definitely made me regret buying a ticket.

To move on to a recent development (and yet another attack on my home state) I would also expect Bob to break out any dusty Red Sox gear he has or buy new hats or some shit in honor of the MLB moving the All Star Game out of Atlanta over the election law.

 

[TerminalTryHard]

As stupid as that was, I found the spider robot uploading an energy signature to power Mecha Godzilla and the greatest assist to Kong and Godzilla beig flask of Wild Turkey to be among the stupidest things I have ever seen in my life. Definitely made me regret buying a ticket.

To move on to a recent development (and yet another attack on my home state) I would also expect Bob to break out any dusty Red Sox gear he has or buy new hats or some shit in honor of the MLB moving the All Star Game out of Atlanta over the election law.

I have nothing against big dumb action movies bot GvK crossed the line into big dumb movie with action scenes.

Just to name a few of the stupid ass things in the movie.

Spoiler

How did Godzilla find mecha godzilla at the start of the movie?

How did that spider robot transmit data from the center of the earth to the surface?

How did a five minute scan give apex enough data to instantly recreate the power source?

who built that Kong temple in the center of the earth? are the kongs smart enough to build doors and temples?

why did that power source cause mecha godzilla to go crazy?

how did spilling a single flask on a single control panel instantly stop mecha godzilla?

what was even the point of having kong and godzilla team up against mecha godzilla if at the end of the day the hero was a fat teenager spilling a flask on a single keyboard?

I could keep going but you get the point.

 

[Positron]

To move on to a recent development (and yet another attack on my home state) I would also expect Bob to break out any dusty Red Sox gear he has or buy new hats or some shit in honor of the MLB moving the All Star Game out of Atlanta over the election law.

Nah, Bobby only cares about food:

 

[The Valeyard]

I mean, why not? It isn't as if GvK respects science or common sense?

As always soycucks are unable to tell the difference between media that is dark and others that go too far into being edgy.

There’s no reason to believe that Zack Snyder would give Godzilla a gun, but I guess they’re still seething over his take on Batman not lining up with Batman: The Animated Series.

 

[Tronathon242]

Nah, Bobby only cares about food:
View attachment 2053627

Well, color me wrong. He did make more than a few sports related videos in the past, but I guess that he dove too deep into consoomption to care about them much anymore.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Cretin woman! How dare you care about Americans!
View attachment 2053467

What kind of idiot thinks that the America First Committee was "version 1.0" of nativist movements? It was over a hundred years late to the party in the United States alone, Bob! (Also wasn't all that nativist.)