Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Positron]

 

[Cantercoin]

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Why the fuck does this upset Chris? It's not like he's got to deal with School anymore

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

Why the fuck does this upset Chris? It's not like he's got to deal with School anymore

He’s a manchild. He acts like a edgy teenager trapped in an adult’s body.

 

[Sexy Peach Emoji]

Why the fuck does this upset Chris? It's not like he's got to deal with School anymore

Its just another reminder that his youth is behind him, his care free, ska skanking days long gone, and that soon he will be shopping the back to school section for his kids as grows grayer, balder and fatter each end of summer.

Chris and Robert yearn for their lost youth. Instead of making the most of what they have, they yearn for what is gone. They should, but do not recall the old saying, Memento Mori.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Some Tolkien bullshit

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And the image in question is this one:

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Context is important. The full text of the quote, from the Ainulindale (Tolkien's creation myth for Middle-Earth) is as follows:

Now the Valar took to themselves shape and hue; and because they were drawn into the World by love of the Children of Ilúvatar, for whom they hoped, they took shape after that manner which they had beheld in the Vision of Ilúvatar, save only in majesty and splendour. Moreover their shape comes of their knowledge of the visible World, rather than of the World itself; and they need it not, save only as we use raiment, and yet we may be naked and suffer no loss of our being. Therefore the Valar may walk, if they will, unclad, and then even the Eldar cannot clearly perceive them, though they be present. But when they desire to clothe themselves the Valar take upon them forms some as of male and some as of female; for that difference of temper they had even from their beginning, and it is but bodied forth in the choice of each, not made by the choice, even as with us male and female may be shown by the raiment but is not made thereby. But the shapes wherein the Great Ones array themselves are not at all times like to the shapes of the kings and queens of the Children of Ilúvatar; for at times they may clothe themselves in their own thought, made visible in forms of majesty and dread.

In normal English: the Valar (i.e., angels), sometimes roam the world, wearing different forms the way we wear clothes, or wearing no forms at all; yet the wearing of those forms (or the choice not to) does not make them any less Valar. This stands in direct opposition to the Troon agenda, which says that if a man in a dress claims to be a woman, he is a woman.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

What about Unbreakable? I think it's a good partial deconstruction of what kind of effect it has on people and their immediate family.

Yeah, kinda. Oh, wait! Invincible? Unbreakable? Coincidence? Hmmm...

I think the word "deconstruction" gets thrown around a bit too much when it comes to superheroes. It seems like these days everything that isn't identical to Silver Age Superman or Avengers 2 is called that. A story about imperfect people being superheroes or dealing with drama while having superpowers kind of implies that "real" superhero stories are only meant to be one way. Yesterday that "one way" would've been Superfriends, today it's the Marvel formula.

Of course, stuff like Watchmen and The Boys are unquestionably and explicitly deconstructions. But I think the ultimate deconstruction of superheroes is Mystery Men, the story of a crew of working class average joes trying to be heroes in a world where superheroes are corperate whores and sellouts, the Superman clone in the movie has a suit literally covered in ads and breaks his worst villain out of jail just to keep his media empire going.

Make a superhero parody like that and you'll see Bob erupt in blind rage.

 

[Deadman]

I never saw the reboot. How bad was it?

Eric "Asalieri" Gaede Made a pretty good video on the first season and its unsubtle agenda.

 

[Windows Error 98]

In many ways Bob seems to me the quintessential lolcow. Incredible hubris. Resistance to criticism. An unparalleled desire to keep going with his dogshit takes despite everyone in the entire world laughing at him. Cannot pick his battles. Rampant narcissism despite being a 400+ pound man who makes movie reviews in his basement.

 

[Brother Wind]

Some Tolkien bullshit

View attachment 2316653

And the image in question is this one:

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For context, the Valar beings Tolkien is describing are supposed to be Angel like figures, creatures of light directly created by god, so they can be whatever they want really.

Aside from the obvious, that Tolkien never intended the Valar to be a trans allegory, because by the time Tolkien wrote his notes and books, trans people were unheard of or very, VERY isolated cases, certainly not enough to make a "cause" out of it, this is yet another push to make The Lord of the Rings LGBTQ friendly.

A push that looks more like a assault, with articles talking about how the Hobbits are gay, and so on an forth. It is all very stupid and has been happening for a while all over the internet pop culture shit, and the best to do is just to ignore, not to mention that 90% of the time this is just click bait outrage farm, these websites are hurting and they need to kick the hornet's nest to get some views. A Kotaku editor flat out said so recently.

But I think the winds might be changing, because this push for the whole "LGBTQ representation" is starting to sound like bullying "Oh, you like this character? well he is GAY! And if you don't agree, you are homophobic, you wanna get cancelled huh? huh?"

And while I don't think any big "backlash" is coming soon or anything of the sorts, everybody is getting fed up with the alphabet people, and let me tell you, this fat, self righteous dildo over here, posting horn signs and saying "the professor still taking everyone to school!!" isn't doing anyone any favours.

So I say, keep at it Robert, push as hard as you can, just fucking go for it, everybody just LOVES wen people point out that everything is gay, that isn't obnoxious at all.

You know what. Im gonna school Bob here. You want a real. Well "real" Trans allegory in Tolkien? Look at Elrond and his brother. Who had the choice to be Elf or Human.

Bit of a stretch sure, but a smart person could run for miles with that. The problem is we aren't dealing with smart people. These are people who can only deal with the most obvious connections. Thats why you get exactly what we were talking about with how it seems Black movie stars have regressed. A subset of People don't see Black People as movie stars as represenation. It has to be a black person playing a "Black Man". It has to be a woman playing a "Woman". A lady of color has to play "Michelle Rodriguez"

 

[Si vis pacem para bellum]

Yeah, kinda. Oh, wait! Invincible? Unbreakable? Coincidence? Hmmm...

I think the word "deconstruction" gets thrown around a bit too much when it comes to superheroes. It seems like these days everything that isn't identical to Silver Age Superman or Avengers 2 is called that. A story about imperfect people being superheroes or dealing with drama while having superpowers kind of implies that "real" superhero stories are only meant to be one way. Yesterday that "one way" would've been Superfriends, today it's the Marvel formula.

Of course, stuff like Watchmen and The Boys are unquestionably and explicitly deconstructions. But I think the ultimate deconstruction of superheroes is Mystery Men, the story of a crew of working class average joes trying to be heroes in a world where superheroes are corperate whores and sellouts, the Superman clone in the movie has a suit literally covered in ads and breaks his worst villain out of jail just to keep his media empire going.

Make a superhero parody like that and you'll see Bob erupt in blind rage.

I'm sad that I rushed to read your reply expecting someone in this thread to give me a witty education that I would enjoy only to see it doesn't really address how the movie stands apart from the heavy handed for dummies approach that watchmen and invincible take. Instead you opted to lump then together and it really doesn't belong. None the less aside from that I agree with you and it's just a symptom of capeshit being lowest common denominator drivel and one tiny notch up from that on the belt are clumsy attempts to make you see what even the movies themselves overtly say.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Why the fuck does this upset Chris? It's not like he's got to deal with School anymore

As other people have said it's because he's pathetic. He would have a point if he made it about how cruel it is that actual children and teenagers can't enjoy the 4th without being reminded of the dystopian education system they'll be returning to shortly.

Context is important. The full text of the quote, from the Ainulindale (Tolkien's creation myth for Middle-Earth) is as follows:


In normal English: the Valar (i.e., angels), sometimes roam the world, wearing different forms the way we wear clothes, or wearing no forms at all; yet the wearing of those forms (or the choice not to) does not make them any less Valar. This stands in direct opposition to the Troon agenda, which says that if a man in a dress claims to be a woman, he is a woman.

Snippets like this is why the Silmarillion is my favorite of the Tolkien mythos and my favorite IP mythos.

Yeah, kinda. Oh, wait! Invincible? Unbreakable? Coincidence? Hmmm...

I think the word "deconstruction" gets thrown around a bit too much when it comes to superheroes. It seems like these days everything that isn't identical to Silver Age Superman or Avengers 2 is called that. A story about imperfect people being superheroes or dealing with drama while having superpowers kind of implies that "real" superhero stories are only meant to be one way. Yesterday that "one way" would've been Superfriends, today it's the Marvel formula.

Of course, stuff like Watchmen and The Boys are unquestionably and explicitly deconstructions. But I think the ultimate deconstruction of superheroes is Mystery Men, the story of a crew of working class average joes trying to be heroes in a world where superheroes are corperate whores and sellouts, the Superman clone in the movie has a suit literally covered in ads and breaks his worst villain out of jail just to keep his media empire going.

Make a superhero parody like that and you'll see Bob erupt in blind rage.

Deconstruction is overrated. Most deconstructions are obnoxiously grimdark and pretentious for the sake of masturbating the author's ego and sticking it to the lowly plebes.

 

[Adamska]

Man who has never been to Europe comments on how ugly English churches are and how bad their food is.

I will die on the hill that the UK actually has pretty good food. Sure it has Stargazey Pie, but Beef Wellington, Fish and Chips, and a Sunday Roast are all classics. Not to mention things like Tikka Masala which are really fusions. Even things like Haggis from the rest of the island are actually great.

Black pudding, the English Breakfast, Steak and Kidney Pie, Shepherd's Pie, Treacle Tarts, Toffees, and the fuckload of custard desserts and savory and sweet puddings. Don't get me wrong, there's fags and peas and jellied eels too, but England does have a cavalcade of winning cuisine.

Bobby however must now pretend to be an expert in what looks to me like gothic architecture, art history, and gastronomy and the culinary arts. Why? Because he's a glue huffing, crayon eating, blue curtain gazing retard who is too fucking stupid and terrified of showing it to know even renaissance men don't know every thing. He is so intrinsically terrified of being outed as retarded and so desperate to prove he's smart and THEY DON'T MATTER THEY DON'T MATTER that he now will proclaim himself an expert on everything.

By the way he can fuck off on architecture, since I recall he tried to defend Brutalism, which only works if you want the place to look like a prison, a bunker, or an honor killing building.

 

[Captain Syrup]

He is so terrified of being outed as retarded and so desperate to prove he's smart that he now will proclaim himself an expert on everything.

Why are all neckbeards like this?

By "this" I mean competitive, arrogant know-it-alls who think they're the king shits.

 

[Tronathon242]

"Wait wasn't this guy locked up in a dungeon in London or something?"

Lovely.
1) Dismiss someone's opinion because of their past (good thing yours is so pristine).
2) Mock someone who was harassed by the government for the sin of putting content on the Internet (not like putting content on the internet is your livelihood or anything).
3) Consider a joke that translates to "Nazis are the worst thing I can think of" somehow worthy of punishment (Bobby, lesser races that need to be wiped out, 'nuff said).
4) Confuse England and Scotland (fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck yooooooooou).

So much blind dogmatic ignorant retardation crammed into thirteen words. Only the Blob could manage it.

This is the second time he has done this with Dankula at the very least. The guy's accent, even when toned down, is a match for Groundskeeper Willie and doesn't even sound remotely close to the "oy guvnuh" stereotype of the English. I also don't know how someone who claims to be so intelligent can miss the fucking Scottish flag in Dank's header or even confuse it for the English one. They're not even close to looking similar.

But I would take that first line of his to be about two things: 1) not knowing the names of any actual Scottish cities and 2) wishing that Dankula was locked up because he's made fun of him on occasion. We know how vindictive Bob is and even his shitty attempts to make humor cannot disguise his malicious thoughts.

 

[>tfw no Asian gf]

By the way he can fuck off on architecture, since I recall he tried to defend Brutalism, which only works if you want the place to look like a prison, a bunker, or an honor killing building.

Who the fuck sees Brutalist architecture and thinks "yeah I'd love if my entire city looked like that"? The only ones who would like it are either idiots or extreme authoritarians that want to crush the morale of the people, actually I can see why Bob would defend it, he belongs to both of those groups.
Also the best and most aesthetic architectures are the NeoClassical and Gothic ones.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

I'm not surprised Bob defends Brutalism. It's just like him: aggressively neoliberal and extremely fucking ugly.

 

[Brother Wind]

Why are all neckbeards like this?

By "this" I mean competitive, arrogant know-it-alls who think they're the king shits.

Simply, its because they have nothing else in life, but "being smart".

And then stupid people feed that ego. We have all seen that greentext. Its easily my least favorite goddamn thing people do. Besides maybe judge what others eat. Fucking hate that (to a point). Like I will talk to fellow history majors in school and there is one fucker who insists on butting in with something like, "you mean the 23rd!"

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

"Right-wingers are the people most vocally opposed to child abuse! This is a sign the right wing is evil!!!"

Absolutely smoking hot take.

I'm going to be generous and assume that it's just ignorance on the Blob's part. But then again, this is the guy that felt the need to defend Cuties.

What's the saying about "Where there is smoke"???

Who the fuck sees Brutalist architecture and thinks "yeah I'd love if my entire city looked like that"? The only ones who would like it are either idiots or extreme authoritarians that want to crush the morale of the people, actually I can see why Bob would defend it, he belongs to both of those groups.
Also the best and most aesthetic architectures are the NeoClassical and Gothic ones.

The type of people who demand movies and TV shows all represent their contemporary views.
See the thing is they don't actually "like" Brutalism, they merely like what it represents (or rather their take on what it represents).

Anecdotally speaking, they also tend to be the type of people who can't detect sarcasm very well, can't handle banter, bring up argumentative topics/points of contention in conversations where they dont belong (not even inherently political ones, even fucking roommate drama and music preferences) and generally live in a bubble where they see themselves as Always Right (TM) based on a narrow/sheltered worldview.

So basically Bob Chipman in a nutshell

 

[Doctor of Autism]

What's the saying about "Where there is smoke"???

I doubt he is a full blown pedo but I am curious what the amount of CP on Blob's computer is since he really gives off pedo vibes

 

[Positron]

More fun toys for Chris!