Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Positron]

MovieBob, the great Catholic student, thinks SATAN ain't in the Bible?

As usual, atheists don't know what they are up against.

Bob has claimed he's not an atheist, but he sure talks like the fedora-y-est of fedora tippers.

Strictly speaking Bobby is an anti-theist, offended by any suggestion that God might exist. He denies being an atheist because he is a piece of chickenshit who dares not step on the dicks of muslims and two-spirits.

Once again, my keyboard is getting a workout.

I really appreciate you transcribing those screencaps. I can't even bother to do even one short passage.
You're doing beyond the call of duty.

 

[Koby_Fish]

As usual, atheists don't know what they are up against.


Strictly speaking Bobby is an anti-theist, offended by any suggestion that God might exist. He denies being an atheist because he is a piece of chickenshit who dares not step on the dicks of muslims and two-spirits.


I really appreciate you transcribing those screencaps. I can't even bother to do even one short passage.
You're doing beyond the call of duty.

it will never not be funny to me that Bob thinks he's well endowed enough to step "around" his own dick. Something tells me the reality is, even if it were average length let alone of massive girth, it's so hidden in folds of fat it barely sees the light of day and in no way is long enough to function as a third leg, let alone something to step around. TBH I don't even understand where this alleged saying of stepping on your own dick to step on other people('s?) comes from or how it even makes sense.

 

[blablabla]

bob has a very sick mind

 

[cypocryphy]

Hobbes is neither meant to be imaginary, or a stuffed Tiger that magically comes to life when nobody else is around Calvin. It's about the subjective nature of reality, Calvin sees Hobbes one way, everyone else sees Hobbes another way. That's from the creator Bill Watterson.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

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Sorry, Captain Consoom of the Capeshit Company (that draws his power from his sacred shrine to the god of Bing Bing Wahoo) is talking to people about MATURITY?

Hobbes is neither meant to be imaginary, or a stuffed Tiger that magically comes to life when nobody else is around Calvin. It's about the subjective nature of reality, Calvin sees Hobbes one way, everyone else sees Hobbes another way. That's from the creator Bill Watterson.

Huh, never knew that. Thank you!

I guess Bob's pea-brain will dig out "death of the author" again should anyone point this out. (Only to stuff it back as soon as he retweets some other creator he agrees with.)

 

[UserAccess]

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Hobbes is neither meant to be imaginary, or a stuffed Tiger that magically comes to life when nobody else is around Calvin. It's about the subjective nature of reality, Calvin sees Hobbes one way, everyone else sees Hobbes another way. That's from the creator Bill Watterson.

Wow. Bob didn't even foul one off, he went down on three straight pitches with that dumbass interpretation.

The man's entire charm is appearing analytical and deep to stupid people. By smearing surface psychological and social buzzword gravy on the dust jacket summary, he convinces fellow frauds he's read the book.

It's easy to percolate baseless conjecture as interpretive fact when your adopted reality permits you a block button. Bob's life is a farcical quest to keep searching for a dumber audience. I'm sure he'll find comfort with that prize when the doctors saw off his purpled legs at age 43.

 

[Imposteroak]

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Hobbes is neither meant to be imaginary, or a stuffed Tiger that magically comes to life when nobody else is around Calvin. It's about the subjective nature of reality, Calvin sees Hobbes one way, everyone else sees Hobbes another way. That's from the creator Bill Watterson.

Gotta resist the urge to sperg when lolcows try to analyze calvin and hobbes. As mentioned Hobbes is not Calvin, so he starts off being wrong right off the bat. And then just projects his own retard shit for the rest.
And for the newer bob watchers this is at least the second time robert fucked up trying read into calvin and hobbes.

 

[Neko GF]

bob has a very sick mind

A very, very, sick, small mind filled with nothing but delusions, consoomer trash, and hatred for anyone who thinks differently from him.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

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Hobbes is neither meant to be imaginary, or a stuffed Tiger that magically comes to life when nobody else is around Calvin. It's about the subjective nature of reality, Calvin sees Hobbes one way, everyone else sees Hobbes another way. That's from the creator Bill Watterson.

Don’t be surprised. He only read it on Wikipedia, like the lazy dumbass does anyway.

 

[blablabla]

Bostan badass everyone

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Bostan badass everyone

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Look at those noodle arms. How this idiot thinks he can threaten anyone physically is beyond me.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

Every time Bobert sits on a bench or chair and it doesn't collapse like a Trade Center (Too Soon?) he knows there is a god.

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams, but Bob's fat ass can snap them like twigs.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

And for the newer bob watchers this is at least the second time robert fucked up trying read into calvin and hobbes.

Are we counting the time he criticized Bloom County? Because that was only a couple months back. But it was like 150 pages ago, so I guess it's effectively locked deep in the archives to a newbie.

 

[Red Hood]

Are we counting the time he criticized Bloom County? Because that was only a couple months back. But it was like 150 pages ago, so I guess it's effectively locked deep in the archives to a newbie.

It's a deep enough cut that even an avid follower of Chipman lore like myself forgot about it.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

I'm glad I must've missed Bob talking about Calvin and Hobbes. Bill Watterson is someone I consider an inspiration, and I love that he basically got into comic strips, helped revolutionize them (basically getting to play with pannel layout instead of just a few sequential squares), made a living, ended things on his own terms, and then he apparently just retired to paint somewhere in Ohio. I think hearing Bob pontificate on it, whether positive or negative, the stupidity would give me a fucking aneurysm.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

Hobbes is neither meant to be imaginary, or a stuffed Tiger that magically comes to life when nobody else is around Calvin. It's about the subjective nature of reality, Calvin sees Hobbes one way, everyone else sees Hobbes another way. That's from the creator Bill Watterson.

The irony of Bob's tweet shows how comically self-unaware he is. The fact that Bob obsesses over the MCU and Mario demonstrates that he never made it out of childhood intact.

 

[1 Guy 1 Taco]

I'd love to hear his interpretation of Captain Underpants.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Bostan badass everyone

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I see he has no mask with him.

So much for believing in SCIENCE

 

[Koby_Fish]

Don’t be surprised. He only read it on Wikipedia, like the lazy dumbass does anyway.

I can buy that maybe as a kid, Bob read Calvin and Hobbes in the newspaper a few times. It was, after all, hugely popular, surpassing even Garfield I think.

However, at some point Bob's crayon-craving (either consoomed or up his nose like Homer), paste-eating galaxy smoothbrain engaged in blue curtain analysis of Calvin and Hobbes. Either before, or after he was taught how to analyze the blue curtains in school. (Most likely after, though it's possible Bob's brain is hard-wired for Blue Curtain Analysis out of the starting gate). So it's completely in-character for Bob (and Andrew Dobson as well) to completely misunderstand the point behind Calvin and Hobbes in relation to what Hobbes actually represents.

Because that's all that's really going on here, folks. Classic "The Curtains Were Blue Because The Author Was Sad" when in reality "The Curtains were just BLUE, no hidden meaning". Bob's been taught that to blue-curtain-analyze means he is very smart. And since he wants us all to know how he is very smrt, he keeps doing this, whether to Calvin and Hobbes, Bloom County, or Mahvel Capeshit.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

Bostan badass everyone

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I always wondered what a man who has never exercised once in his life but tried to drop weight by drinking diet soda 24/7 would look like.

Once again, I remind everyone this dumb nigger said he was benching 300+ lol. No wonder Bob hasn't necked himself, it would be impossible for him due to not having one.