Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Doctor of Autism]

I've never seen anyone slurp corporate dick like Bob Chipman.

The only reason Bob is even defending her is because she's a woman and is hating on a guy that the dudebros love so he can be a "good" male feminist.

 

[Adamska]

Spoiler: Political sperging ahead

For those who don't know, Biden is getting creamed in the polls: something like 35% approval rating, and a big part of this is because of Covid not ending as he promised. There's panic among the Democrats with regards to the midterm elections and 2024. The vaccine is deeply unpopular and people are sick of wearing face diapers. Democrats who cracked down on Covid- such as Gretchen Whitmer and Jared Polis- are backing off of that stance, and publications that've long pushed Covid hysteria are doing a 180 and claiming that hey, maybe we don't need to lose our minds over Covid.

The rank and file are not taking it well. They seem to love the hysteria, and the Democrats are now between a rock and a hard place: stop the madness and alienate their voters, or keep it going and get hammered in the polls. Covid needs to end, but it at the same time, it can't end.

Bob, being the True Believer that he is, understands none of this. He thinks (if one can call it that) only in the simplest of terms.

Does diabetes affect your sense of smell? If it does, I'll venture to say he probably can't smell at all, even with that huge schnozz of his.

Spoiler: Moai Posting

You sure about them trying to walk back on the COVID bullshit? Because as far as I can tell the news is still pretty happily and desperately trying to push it and how there's a new super variant now that means the fake and gay lockdown must continue, at least the fucking retards at ABC and the Huff Post gang seem to. I don't understand the logic of the former either, unless their marching orders from Disney is to nuke the economy to hide Disney's failure or something equally malicious and retarded

Anyways, @Therealhomor ; you have successfully managed to do a solid B+ Bobian script, and it's a LOT closer to how that crayon eating retarded cry bully would write it.

The only critique I'll give is you did not insert stupid random comic characters from Terminator works, shit from the Sarah Connor Chronicles, and basically every fucking thing from the franchise. This is because Bob is an insecure fake geek who wants to pretend he actually cares or understands any product he opens his fat gob on. He needs to desperately pretend he has any understanding or opinion worth a shit on (all products). Even if he at best and even then that's a stretch only understands Bing Bing Wahoo on a basic bitch level.

I cannot state enough how he's literally the most incompetent "film" guy I've ever seen. EVEN FUCKING LINKARA knows how to write something closer to a film than he does, and Atop the 4th Wall was garbage.

 

[EnemyStand]

Spoiler: Moai Posting

You sure about them trying to walk back on the COVID bullshit? Because as far as I can tell the news is still pretty happily and desperately trying to push it and how there's a new super variant now that means the fake and gay lockdown must continue, at least the fucking retards at ABC and the Huff Post gang seem to. I don't understand the logic of the former either, unless their marching orders from Disney is to nuke the economy to hide Disney's failure or something equally malicious and retarded

Anyways, @Therealhomor ; you have successfully managed to do a solid B+ Bobian script, and it's a LOT closer to how that crayon eating retarded cry bully would write it.

The only critique I'll give is you did not insert stupid random comic characters from Terminator works, shit from the Sarah Connor Chronicles, and basically every fucking thing from the franchise. This is because Bob is an insecure fake geek who wants to pretend he actually cares or understands any product he opens his fat gob on. He needs to desperately pretend he has any understanding or opinion worth a shit on (all products). Even if he at best and even then that's a stretch only understands Bing Bing Wahoo on a basic bitch level.

I cannot state enough how he's literally the most incompetent "film" guy I've ever seen. EVEN FUCKING LINKARA knows how to write something closer to a film than he does, and Atop the 4th Wall was garbage.

He did succeed in making me want to kill myself while reading it, so it was definitely better than his last attempt.

 

[UserAccess]

They're also very Bob-like in their takes these days. According to them, if you don't get the jab then you basically shouldn't be allowed to live as a normal human being.

Might explain why he thinks the UNSC and the Spartans are like white supremacists then.

I can sit and watch a Scorcese gangster movie and 150 minutes+ just flies right by and I'm satisfied. Sitting through these marathon capeshit sessions feels like a slog and and isn't fulfilling. The difference in filmmaking, pacing, and acting is massive.

When you're talking about a movie on par with Goodfellas, you're talking about three minimum views. The first is following the surface plot, the second for subtext, and the third is appreciating the craftsmanship of the film. I don't love all his movies, but the man's a genuine artist and just a joy to study.

Now I don't hate capeshit movies; I've liked quite a few. But I haven't watched any of them more than once. I don't think someone versed with the details of General Hospital or The Young and the Restless would study any episode more than once for artistic merit. It's not worth the time. And comic book movies, at their best, are soaps for boys.

My brother explained that he didn't like any of the TV stuff, or the last two movies, but he has and will continue to watch them all just to know where the story goes. While insane, or stupid, or both, I still respect that more than faggot Moviebob because at least he can admit when the shit is bad.

 

[Positron]

Bobby take a breather in his busy life to tell us Spiderman is good.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

He did succeed in making me want to kill myself while reading it, so it was definitely better than his last attempt.

I'm so sorry. I read so much of Bob's pablum I became too good at emulating it, and I went way fucking overboard. Like, it's way too fucking long, which is accurate, but bad. If you suffered while reading that, pity me. I went through the same process three times.

@Adamska​

You're totally right about shoving in pointless, self-indulgent franchise cameos. The only problem was I'm not well versed in Terminator lore, and I didn't want to do any extra work researching just to craft this abortion. That's why I threw in Robocop.

Of course, as bad as this was, it's merely a prototype to my potential ultimate creation. An idea so foul, horrible and evil it defies human consciousness, and even my maddest fever dreams implore me not to follow through:

Robert Chipman's Sonichu

 

[Mr Snek]

Bobby take a breather in his busy life to tell us Spiderman is good.
View attachment 2805181

He is so petty over the MCU losing relevance, he can't even admit that another movie did the same idea better without trying to turn it into some kind of own, or even acknowledge that Marvel might have contributed to a film they worked on being less than great. He's one more hard lemonade away from making videos explaining that the MCU isn't meant to be good like those shitty IGN articles.

 

[Mr. Duck]

Oh, let me rephrase: There's no more hackneyed fanfiction left that's actually notable enough to bother reading.

What about his pitch for a Mario movie?

 

[bajagoogoo]

Morbius:
View attachment 2804103
So Bobby hates Morbius because he loves Big Pharma.

"Just imagine pitching Morbius if (the?) wasn't already a F-tier Marvel property"

Yes, just imagine pitching a vampire character in a time where vampires have a cult like status instead of 1971 in which they were connected to poorly recieved, throw away B movies.

"People like Spider-Man. People like Vampires. Vampires is bats, right? So what if-hear me out! A guy gets bit by a bat..."

Morbius wasn't bitten by a bat. He's a biochemist who used bat DNA to try to cure his blood disease.

"So he'd be Bat-Man"

No, he wouldn't.

Not that anyone would expect Bobby to know or care, Morbius was released in 1971, right on the heels of the Comic Code Authority lifting the censorship of supernatural characters in comics. Morbius is a subtile middle finger to the CCA's former grip on the industry.

 

[Adamska]

I'm so sorry. I read so much of Bob's pablum I became too good at emulating it, and I went way fucking overboard. Like, it's way too fucking long, which is accurate, but bad. If you suffered while reading that, pity me. I went through the same process three times.

@Adamska​

You're totally right about shoving in pointless, self-indulgent franchise cameos. The only problem was I'm not well versed in Terminator lore, and I didn't want to do any extra work researching just to craft this abortion. That's why I threw in Robocop.

Of course, as bad as this was, it's merely a prototype to my potential ultimate creation. An idea so foul, horrible and evil it defies human consciousness, and even my maddest fever dreams implore me not to follow through:

Robert Chipman's Sonichu

If you mean a creative work, that's never happening. Despite getting a degree in film the only time he seriously and genuinely tried to write his own story was the Game Overeater, and that was a 'bare minimum' and 'aping others' sort of reason. His brother Chris did more of the thinking and creating in the very few films the Chipman Brothers ever tried to make. Usually as tweens.

Bob's so painfully brainless and incurious that there's nothing to work with in terms of fiction. It's why I genuinely think he's never willingly read a book that wasn't involving Mario, and even then he preferred Players Guides and Nintendo Power because he's a crayon eating curtain analyzing retard who couldn't figure out how to fucking beat the classic Bing Bing Wahoo for weeks.

 

[The Valeyard]

Bobby take a breather in his busy life to tell us Spiderman is good.
View attachment 2805181

If I had to guess what it is that Bob thinks will ”make SO many people SO mad” it would be

Spoiler: Mid-credits scene

Venom being in the MCU from the post-credits scene of Let There Be Carnage ends up being a nothingburger as the mid-credits scene in No Way Home has Eddie drunk at the resort having the MCU’s heroes explained to him by a bartender before he is sent back to his own universe without meeting Tom Holland’s Spider-Man.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

If you mean a creative work, that's never happening. Despite getting a degree in film the only time he seriously and genuinely tried to write his own story was the Game Overeater, and that was a 'bare minimum' and 'aping others' sort of reason. His brother Chris did more of the thinking and creating in the very few films the Chipman Brothers ever tried to make. Usually as tweens.

Bob's so painfully brainless and incurious that there's nothing to work with in terms of fiction. It's why I genuinely think he's never willingly read a book that wasn't involving Mario, and even then he preferred Players Guides and Nintendo Power because he's a crayon eating curtain analyzing retard who couldn't figure out how to fucking beat the classic Bing Bing Wahoo for weeks.

Oh, you thought I meant Bob creating his own personal, figurative Sonichu? No no no, GameOverthinker was exactly that.

I'm talking about writing a pitch for Sonichu in the style of MovieBob. The peak culmination of their powers combined. Nuclear fission autism.

 

[A Pale Shadow]

Oh, you thought I meant Bob creating his own personal, figurative Sonichu? No no no, GameOverthinker was exactly that.

I'm talking about writing a pitch for Sonichu in the style of MovieBob. The peak culmination of their powers combined. Nuclear fission autism.

I've said for years there's a killer psychological horror comedy buried in Chris Chan's life story but Blobbo Retardo is not the person to realize it.

 

[Tronathon242]

I've said for years there's a killer psychological horror comedy buried in Chris Chan's life story but Blobbo Retardo is not the person to realize it.

I've had something of similar idea: a psychological slant to a Chris-Chan story but it's between a Christopher entity (trapped within but able to learn and grow from mistakes he sees) and Christian (the one in the driver's seat).

Bob would have Chris break from Sonichu or something because anything with a remote connection to the Blue Blur is heresy and must die. It would probably end with Chris-Chan using his dimensional powers to summon his new heroes in Mario and Luigi to raise Sonic's world to the ground. No attempt at nuance this time, just one murderous fantasy of many of his come to life.

 

[Positron]

This is the fun you'll miss unless you've got a $3000 fridge. Also note the apostropheitis.

 

[Mola Ram]

This is the fun you'll miss unless you've got a $3000 fridge. Also note the apostropheitis.
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Are we sure it's only the kids who are special needs?

 

[Foltest]

Are we sure it's only the kids who are special needs?

everyone with the chipman need and who post on social media have special needs.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Can you tell me what "fascism" means, Bob?

Thought so. Doesn't stop you constantly sneeding about how fascism is a super duper big threat to Our Democracy (tm) though.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Y'know, there have been times that I've held middling opinions on Elon Musk, like in his push for electric cars without thinking about the issues that arise from them, the electrical grid being not the least of these. Or when he called that British expat who was helping rescue those kids in the cave a pedo. These have been tempered by things like SpaceX and how much effort he's putting into bringing down the costs of space flight, so my thoughts about the man have been mixed.

But damn, those tweets at Fauxcahontas are just wonderful. No wonder it's getting Bobby's panties in a twist; not only is Musk delivering hilarious barbs effortlessly, he's throwing them at one of his senators, one that's supposed to help bring about the Superior Future™! Doesn't he know he's only supposed to insult the Mayoghoulen? Quit attacking Senator Schoolmarm!

(Side note, but is there any actual indication that "Karen" as a perjorative ever came from the black community? It seems like a term that everyone instinctively knew what it meant that it didn't really matter who said it, in a similar manner to the "Karen" haircut. Both were so widely known to apply to the same sort of person (bossy, middle-aged soccer mom "let me speak to your manager" type) that it didn't take much for it to take off. It doesn't seem like something that would really be black-exclusive, so the complaints about white people "misusing" the term are laughable.)

It really is funny when you think about it. Look at every time Bob's tried to make some bad name stick to a person or group: Mayo Ghouls, GQP, Tucker "Failson" Carlson, or even his more recent trend of calling people "not human." It always comes across as hamfisted (aptly enough), never flowing naturally, always clunky. They never catch on, never stick with other people (except maybe GQP, but he probably pulled that from some other insane lefty), and inevitably it's just him repeating it over and over hoping that this time it'll work. Meanwhile Musk can shit out a simple Karen tweet and it's an instant hit. I know their audiences are very different in size, but you'd figure that through law of averages Bob could score at least once. But nope, he's striking out every time, much like his love life.

I've been saying that liberal women are gonna come to regret the Karen thing, because the definition of a Karen is just gonna eventually get whittled down to "woman who complains". i.e. them.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

This is the fun you'll miss unless you've got a $3000 fridge. Also note the apostropheitis.
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For non-massholes, Chippa apparently travelled an hour to a furniture store at the antipode of the state in order to buy blueberry muffins.

And then stored them in the fridge.