Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Gordon Cole]

Y'know, with how much Bob hates the working class, you'd think he'd be praising Thatcher for closing down all those coal mines.

He'll be grateful for coal miners losing their jobs when it's a Democrat (or Labour, in this case) that does it instead of those dang, dirty Conservatives. Still, the irony isn't lost.

 

[Adamska]

To comment on Bob being an utter moron; you kind of need affable villains, smallfolk, and heroes; ones you can get behind for GoT and ASoIaF... without that you wind up with a mess that you can't give a shit about since so many characters can and do die that the ones that are left have to be able to keep you interested.

It really shows how he's still emotionally like 5.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Listening to others' valid complaints? Pfffft.

You a-log people, they're gonna a-log back.

 

[BlueSpark]

Surely nothing on his account would detract from this whatsoev-
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Neverfuckingmind.

Eh, Margaret Thatcher was human scum, fuck her.

 

[cypocryphy]

How about a show where New England actually secedes due to the War of 1812 and the rest of the Union annihilates them?

I'd love to see Bob react to that.

 

[Kyria the Great]

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wow, what a mature thing to say. Surely nothing on his account would detract from this whatsoev-
View attachment 250364 View attachment 250365
Neverfuckingmind.

Even though I disagreed with some of the things she did, I want to see what these spineless amoebas would do in her situation if you need to shut down an industry or an union is threatening the stability of your country. Bob's only answer would be violence, strawmen, or apologism as that is all he has

 

[Lensherr]

Surprise, surprise, he wants the show to be a movie and an autistic revenge fantasy:
View attachment 250336
(Love how the asspats drop when he starts wishing death on Southeners.)

Translation: I can have all the crap in my basement that I want, don't judge me!
View attachment 250335


Will we see Bob go full Dolezal? Only time will tell:
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EDIT: Speaking of wishing death on Republicans, John McCain has recently been announced as having brain cancer. Bob's in quite the bind now. He could be sympathetic and be seen as a hypocrite or he could a-log and be seen as a bigger asshole than he already is. Just another thing to keep your eyes on.

Since when do bigots get sympathy in this day and age? Being a bigot is considered the WORST thing anyone can be, even more so than say, being a muderer. Just look at how people liked Jaime Lannister, a character who pushed a boy out of a window, until he "raped" Cersei.

Also, is he aware that the majority of slave holders, Confederates, and the South in general were Democrats? Come to think of it, the party has moved from exploiting black people for free labor to exploiting them votes.

 

[Positron]

Bobby's tract of irrelevance about Valerian:

I want to credit VALERIAN for *not* going the obvious "Pratt/RDJ/etc glib snarker" route for casting the lead, but - maybe should have. Dehaan is an interesting screen presence, but it feels like he's ill at ease with the Han Solo "charming rogue" persona. You can definitely tell the character has been transplanted from the era where a 20-something could be expected to be plausibly "jaded", whereas here it sometimes comes off like "Why is this TODDLER grumbling like a seen-it-all man in his fifties?" Theres moment where we see what's supposed to be his "little black book" of former paramours, and you doubt Dehaan has been ALIVE that long. On this other hand, it also feels deliberate: "These two are such badasses they're already worldly veterans in their mid-20s". Almost every other human in the film is old, out of shape, "funny-looking" or otherwise not model-gorgeous, so they stand out more. A LOT of visual-cues for "these are the special awesome people" in place of background, because it's basically a chase movie.

(Delevigne, on the other hand, really DOES affect a sense that she's "seen some shit" for her age - like a Mickey Spillane Mean Girl.)

In Bobby's words the film sounds really derivative, a live-action Evangelion. Any other takes?
Delevingne is solely famous for being a perpetual scowlface -- that's why fashion people like her.

 

[Gordon Cole]

His Dunkirk video's up. You know that fatty's gonna bitch about Nolan fans and dang, dirty dudebros, except he does it in the first 10 seconds. Strap yourselves in, people:

Is Dunkirk good?
Yes. I sincerely wish I’d liked it more, but it’s none the less a perfectly solid military procedural drama that, thanks largely to the inherent subject matter and some great actors, is absolutely worth seeing.

What’s it about?
“The Dunkirk Evacuation” (also known as “The Miracle at Dunkirk”), a strategic retreat from France back across the English Channel by beleaguered British and Allied forces during the early phase of World War II. It was complicated by geographic inaccessibility and a lack of available warships. Ultimately leading Churchill to order civilian boats from England to mobilize for the rescue while the stranded soldiers held out as best they could.

Apart from the history, why is it a big deal?
It’s a WWII movie directed by Christopher Nolan, so a lot of his ultra-zealous fans are hoping that this will be the one that wins him the Best Picture Oscar they’ve insisted he’s been robbed of for every movie since Batman Begins.

Yeah, people are seriously “into” that guy, huh?
It happens – he’s the current unquestioned Film School Bro god-figure, an undeniable auteur, and craftsman of occasionally staggering technical acumen whose catalog nonetheless flatters the Bros baser sensibilities by putting that substantial skill toward infusing artistic credibility into a defiantly macho subject matter like revenge, crime, con-artistry, heists, rocket ships and Batman.

Whoa – do you have some kind of issue with Christopher Nolan?
Nah, I think he’s terrific. I just also think he’s sometimes hampered by an inability or unwillingness to engage his films on a human/emotional plane. He’s a devout technician overwhelmingly more interested in the hypothetical “blueprints” behind heists, cons or vigilantism than the humanity of his human chess pieces (hence why his best film, Inception, is all about how unrestrained emotions are destructive psychological viruses that ruin attempts to construct a fantasy narrative.) I mean, we’re talking about the filmmaker who once decreed that an aesthetic decision like “Anne Hathaway in high-heels” required a practical, utilitarian explanation.

Does Dunkirk overcome that?
It tries to. A brutal, enormously complicated, messy-as-hell military operation held in particular reverence in the British national psyche. This subject offers Nolan interlocking clockwork mechanisms to obsess over the inner workings of and real-life, fact-based stakes the humanity of which seem so recognizably built-in. And “goes without saying” apparent that he need not once again flail impotently against the cosmic walls of Murph’s bookcase trying to convince us that “No, really – he understands how human beings work, honest!”

The actor’s pick up a lot of the slack. Cillian Murphy is haunting as a rattled shell-shock victim, Kenneth Branagh shows up to deliver what might be his most naturalistic and understated performance ever, Tom Hardy is essentially auditioning to replace the lions on the Royal Arms of England as an RAF ace gliding on fumes to stay airborne long enough to fend off the Nazi fighter planes and Mark Rylance as the civilian yacht captain who damn near shows up wearing an “I’M THE SOUL OF THE MOVIE” t-shirt gamely commits to the Herculean task of making a Nolan film feel almost humanistic and… kind of pulls it off.


I’ve heard the timeline is weird – what’s up with that?
The narrative divides into three separate narrative tracks for land, sea, and air. One storyline following a group of soldiers scrambling to survive on the beach, another centered on middle-class father and son yacht crew making their way across the channel to join the rescue effort and a third tracking a pair of Royal Air Force pilots striving to provide cover-fire for their mates on the ground. However, each story is proceeding on its own separate timescale, and they don’t fully “synchronize” until the very end: The “Land” storyline takes place over about a week, the “Sea” portion is one day, and we’re really only up with “Air” for an hour.

That sounds confusing…
It is, especially if you blink near the start and miss the title cards that clue us in that this is what’s happening. But when the bulk of your film is dialogue-free depictions of harrowing rescues, boat-sinkings, plane-crashes, young soldiers starving, shivering, drowning, being pinned-down by gunfire… you’d have to be made of stone yourself NOT to get wrapped up in it. The obvious functionality of expanding and contracting the different timelines to make everything feel uniformly immediate and thrilling is always apparent, and (again, thank the cast on this one) it ends up connecting when it needs to.

Is it really only rated PG-13?
Yes, and while that doesn’t “ruin” it as a war film, it’s hard not to feel like things are a little too bloodless and sterile to be truly immersive in this case.

Do you recommend it?
Absolutely. I don’t think it’s a masterpiece, but it works where it needs to and the individual moments that need to work really, really work. Plus, whatever else can be said about Nolan his technical skills are second to none, and every frame of it unquestionably deserves to be seen on the biggest screen you can find.

Spoiler: Final Score

Three stahs. Probably would give it more if it was a Mahvel movie.

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

Bob clearly never saw Interstellar if he thought it was some kind of macho power fantasy.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Bob clearly never saw Interstellar if he thought it was some kind of macho power fantasy.

This is completely anecdotal and powerlevelly, but I took a video production course for some credits last semester. I could not tell you how many guys & girls (With the latter being the key word here) loved Nolan. Bob's bullshit about Nolan largely appealing to artsy dudebros is as bullshit as ever, and I could at least back up my argument with some human interaction.

 

[BR55]

So having read the cliff notes of the blob's reviews kindly posted here I have to ask just one thing... Is Bob just incapable of doing anything without being a prick and insulting someone/thing?

 

[AnOminous]

This is completely anecdotal and powerlevelly, but I took a video production course for some credits last semester. I could not tell you how many guys & girls (With the latter being the key word here) loved Nolan. Bob's bullshit about Nolan largely appealing to artsy dudebros is as bullshit as ever, and I could at least back up my argument with some human interaction.

It's just more of Blob's projected self-loathing. He literally thinks just claiming males like something is actually a criticism of it. He thinks this because he is such a failure as a man that he assumes being a man is something bad, otherwise Mistah Superiah Fyoochah wouldn't have failed at it.

 

[TheImportantFart]

This is completely anecdotal and powerlevelly, but I took a video production course for some credits last semester. I could not tell you how many guys & girls (With the latter being the key word here) loved Nolan. Bob's bullshit about Nolan largely appealing to artsy dudebros is as bullshit as ever, and I could at least back up my argument with some human interaction.

I'm going to add to this powerlevelly anecdote with a few of my own. I used to get insanely long summer holidays from secondary school, so I took a three-week filmmaking course one year because I was interested in doing filmmaking at the time. This was the same summer The Dark Knight came out. I'd watched the film twice in the cinema by this point and I would watch it again before it left theatres, but there was a girl on the course who hadn't seen the film yet. In the second week, she went and saw it and she loved it. Like really loved it. I mentioned that I saw the film three times in the cinema. She saw it three times before the week was out and saw it five more times the next week. She even got us to make her up to look like the Joker. I thought I loved the film, but this was a whole other level. When Inception came out, there were few people at my school (including girls) who weren't talking and/or theorising about it. I'd left college by the time Interstellar came out and didn't see it cinemas, but a year later at work, one of my female colleagues saw it on TV and couldn't stop raving about it.

So yeah. Bob. You're an idiot.

 

[cypocryphy]

Bob's trying to sound smart again lol. Sorry that everything can't be MCU.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Will a 2020 Republican victory break Bob more than he is now?

Break him? It'd more likely be too much for his heart and he'd collapse from the sodium intake.

 

[Mola Ram]

I'm going to add to this powerlevelly anecdote with a few of my own. I used to get insanely long summer holidays from secondary school, so I took a three-week filmmaking course one year because I was interested in doing filmmaking at the time. This was the same summer The Dark Knight came out. I'd watched the film twice in the cinema by this point and I would watch it again before it left theatres, but there was a girl on the course who hadn't seen the film yet. In the second week, she went and saw it and she loved it. Like really loved it. I mentioned that I saw the film three times in the cinema. She saw it three times before the week was out and saw it five more times the next week. She even got us to make her up to look like the Joker. I thought I loved the film, but this was a whole other level. When Inception came out, there were few people at my school (including girls) who weren't talking and/or theorising about it. I'd left college by the time Interstellar came out and didn't see it cinemas, but a year later at work, one of my female colleagues saw it on TV and couldn't stop raving about it.

So yeah. Bob. You're an idiot.

I've said it before, but Bob has only rudimentary understanding of film as an artform and no understanding whatsoever of film as a craft. There's nothing wrong with an amateur film critic -- and as an amateur obviously he'd have little to no clue as to what film school students think of any given director -- but an amateur film critic who pretends he's professional does nothing but make you grind away valuable layers of enamel from your teeth, particularly one who writes in such a condescending manner as Bob. He's basically just a guy who likes movies, particularly brain candy sci fi and comic book fare, who likes writing about it. You would think someone like that would come across more as fun than hateful, bitter, and joyless, but, well, here we are.

And seriously, given how often Bob tries to portray comic book crap as Art, how dare he sneer at Nolan for "infusing artistic credibility" into subjects Bob doesn't approve of. You're a shrieking leftoid lunatic dickhead, not the Arbiter of High Culture.

One last thing:

"goes without saying"
"synchronize"
"ruin"

 

[Lensherr]

I've said it before, but Bob has only rudimentary understanding of film as an artform and no understanding whatsoever of film as a craft. There's nothing wrong with an amateur film critic -- and as an amateur obviously he'd have little to no clue as to what film school students think of any given director -- but an amateur film critic who pretends he's professional does nothing but make you grind away valuable layers of enamel from your teeth, particularly one who writes in such a condescending manner as Bob. He's basically just a guy who likes movies, particularly brain candy sci fi and comic book fare, who likes writing about it. You would think someone like that would come across more as fun than hateful, bitter, and joyless, but, well, here we are.

And seriously, given how often Bob tries to portray comic book crap as Art, how dare he sneer at Nolan for "infusing artistic credibility" into subjects Bob doesn't approve of. You're a shrieking leftoid lunatic dickhead, not the Arbiter of High Culture.

One last thing:

"goes without saying"
"synchronize"
"ruin"

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Another one of Bob's many inconsistencies is he constantly takes about "elevating" video games as a medium but also wants comic books and comic book movies to be as simplistic as possible because "they're kids stuff".

Also, the picture you posted makes me wonder what he'd think of Preacher.

 

[Mola Ram]

Another one of Bob's many inconsistencies is he constantly takes about "elevating" video games as a medium but also wants comic books and comic book movies to be as simplistic as possible because "they're kids stuff".

Also, the picture you posted makes me wonder what he'd think of Preacher.

He needs to be able to pretend junk is art and write off stuff he doesn't understand or just doesn't like as junk as the situation warrants. Whatever gets him in with the hip crowd or lets him feel superior, I guess.

As for Preacher, I think he'd need all of about thirty seconds to wave it off as "problematic": horrible violence, bare tits, gay jokes. He might get an emotional erection at the fact a bunch of Klansmen get horribly murdered in the "Salvation" story arc, but I can't imagine him sticking with it that long.

 

[Gordon Cole]

He's got another fucking rant where he calls himself "Politically homeless". I won't be surprised if this changes into "Acutally homeless".

Yeah, good luck with that buddy.

And through retweets, Bob is a confirmed edgelord and Mark Fuhrman supporter.