Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[John Andrews Stan]

It never fails. When Bob is lambasting others for supposed cognitive deficiencies, he invariably makes at least one glaring typo. In this case, accusing Coffin of being “am [sic] idiot.”

 

[JayHarrison]

Pretty soon Bobby will accuse Nintendo of treason.

Mario is not just "a game"; it is literally the lifeline of Bobby.

It is so fortunate that the Mario cartoon thing is the ONLY thing in the world about which Bobby is unreasonably impossible to please. He is such a jovial man that I'm jealous about him.

How pissed off is Moviebob at the news of the upcoming Super Mario Bros. movie? He still wouldn't be happy with it even if Führer Hillary Clinton was in the 56th month of her rightfully-earned regime.

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I can guess there are two reasons why Moviebob hates the minions from Despicable Me: First off, they don't work for him. Even if they face the unforutnate fate of working for Moviebob, there are things the Minions wouldn't do for him; unlike Bob, the Minions have standards.

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Bobby has to reduce the price of his trash on e-bay.
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The Mario plush is just $34.99. If you want a sample of Bobby's DNA, this is your chance.

The only thing crossing my mind whenever something's been held by Moviebob:

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It is not "eugenics" dammit! It is just "evolution" and "natural selection". Please join the line to apologize to Bobby!
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I'm gonna dissect this one.

#1:

Moviebob, the eternally wrong: The line to apologize to me forms behind every other "Bob was right" queue—there are A LOT...

There may be many "Moviebob was right" queues, but the total number of people standing in them is literally zero.

#2:

Bob "do as I say, not as I do" Chipman: ...those with the decency to at least know they *should* feel bad can do penance by being better instead.

I don't feel bad about calling out Moviebob for his blatant bullshittery. The mere act of dressing down evil people like Moviebob alone makes me a better person than Bob could either aspire or pretend to be.

#3:

Moviebob, doublespeak specialist (2021.09.23): Eugenics is unnatural and forcible.

Moviebob, abortion advocate (2018.06.27): Abortion is not merely "not evil," it is a moral good--a scientifically sound medical procedure [...] A fetus is not a person. Superstition must not be law.

Guess what, Movieblob: Abortion is also unnatural. And since abortion is a core component of eugenics...

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Cancel Culture does not exist. Indeed it cannot exist because it only ever works in favor of the cancelled wrongthinkers.
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Didn't Moviebob say something about sunlight peeking into his "apartment", thereby interfering with his video editing? I guess sunlight genuinely is a potent disinfectant.

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Of course you can appear on Tucker Carlson's show; it is just that there will be... consequences.
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Hasan Piker doesn't need Moviebob's permission to speak with Tucker Carlson.

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At long last someone compares the coof with The Stand.
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Any similarities between Moviebob and an actual thinker are purely nonexistant.

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Wasn't Moviebob against the COVID-19 vaccination when Donald Trump was still in office? Asking for a friend...

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Let's round up all Trump voters in jail and castrate them!
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If you want a vision of Superior Future, imagine a grown man throwing baby tantrums over Mario - forever.

To every single online venture who has Moviebob as a major contributor, please end your contract(s) with Moviebob. That's the easiest way to end the stupid plaguing your businesses.

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We all know how deeply misogynistic Bobby is. Today there is enough misogyny for one whole section.

White woman! Stand in the line so we can get ready for the Great Leap Forward!
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Moviebob demands people get vaccinated, regardless whether they're already immune or not. Yet, Moviebob has no trouble with foreign nationals entering U.S. territory without anything even remotely resembling any proof of vaccination. Which is it Bob?

See? This force-birther woman refuses to go with the times, so we treat her worse than chattel:
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EugenicsBob strikes again!

Someone cracked Bobby's code: he is simultaneously both Hitler and Stalin:
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Not sure about Karl Marx... but equating Moviebob to Adolf Hitler? Yeah... sounds about right.

 

[Positron]

Sorry to double post but dear god something tells me Moviebob doesn’t like Chris Pratt

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LOL, even the queerest of Nintendo's queer fans must accept that Mario is straight as a nail.


I hope the movie is filled to the brim with Minions, and then Nintendo adds Minion cameos to their Mario games.


Somehow I doubt this would ruin Pratt's career, much as the anti-Christian woke want to.


I must admit this is a nice piece self-depreciating humor. Chances are Bobby is only capable of this because he can't even fathom how much the world despise a 40-year-old Mario fanatic.

X-men:


Drooling over Asian chicks:




Bobby hates a cinema classic about Olympic runners. Because runners.

Another reason that there won't be a Chariots of Fire remade is that the film was too religious. A Clown Age athlete will draw strength through the hard struggles of George Floyd rather than the Book of Isaiah.

 

[Flexo]

Hm. Isn't Jack Black's voice a little high? I'd have gone with Keith David or someone like that.

I would have liked Tony Jay.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

He liked the idea of fat Chris Pratt playing Mario back in 2014. He probably hates the idea now, but he will take his time getting all the Marvel simping arithmetic done in his head before attacking him.

Bob Chipman on Twitter: "Ironically, Fat Chris Pratt would've been a …

archived 12 Dec 2014 22:05:15 UTC

archive.ph

Bob has already soft locked the tweet.

He got 8 new replies minutes after @9/11 Airlines showcased this.

The latest one was at 7:13PM Boston time meaning it took Bob about 10 minutes to see his notifications going off and to put a lid on this. @9/11 Airlines did you find this/ knew about it organically or did you see it posted on some other forum? I'm just curious if this is from people reading this thread or not.

 

[9/11 Airlines]

Bob Chipman on Twitter: "Ironically, Fat Chris Pratt would've been a …

archived 12 Dec 2014 22:05:15 UTC

archive.ph

Bob has already soft locked the tweet.
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He got 8 new replies minutes after @9/11 Airlines showcased this.
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The latest one was at 7:13PM Boston time meaning it took Bob about 10 minutes to see his notifications going off and to put a lid on this. @9/11 Airlines did you find this/ knew about it organically or did you see it posted on some other forum? I'm just curious if this is from people reading this thread or not.

I saw a headline about the new Mario movie and googled "Moviebob Chris Pratt." That tweet was the first thing that showed up.

 

[Quid 06]

Do we have an archive of the Moviebob high school interview? It seems to be missing

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

"Promised myself I wasn't going to be angry."

Why not try something less fundamental to your nature, like promising yourself not to breathe?

 

[Adamska]

I find it very amusing that the one movie Bob wants to be serious and genuine is the Mario movie. Especially after he supported wholeheartedly the death of cinema with stuff like Whedonisms destroying mood and the death of good writing. Oh and after spending decades shitting on fans losing their shit like he currently is.

Cope and seethe Bob.

 

[Mr. Duck]

You know I'm actually shocked Bob isn't getting hyped for a Mario childrens movie, I figured that would be his dream. I mean I know it looks like shit but I never thought that would bother him, does he actually think that Mario is so important that it needs a three part epic in the style of Lord of the Rings to tell the story of an Italian plumber beating up turtles?

Yes, because Mario 3 is a misunderstood epic of the conflict between Bowser and the Mushroom Kingdom.

“War & Peace” it isn’t, but just-the-basics storylines were par for the course in this era of gaming. Even still, it provides a bigger picture of the Mario universe than had previously been established: this is the first mention that the Mushroom Kingdom is only one part of a larger world, primarily, but it also establishes that the starting point this time around has not quite settled into the “Peach always gets kidnapped” groove it would in subsequent games – while the Princess does indeed wind up abducted at the beginning of World 8, the main story of the game has her in the role of commander, dispatching the Mario Bros. to the Seven Kingdoms to deal with Bowser’s assault. In fact, given that both sides of the conflict are delegating the war-fighting to subordinates this time around, SMB3 marks the first clear delineation of the Troopa/Mushroom conflict as a long-term military conflict rather than mere isolated attacks by Bowser. Left unmentioned in the written story but implicit in the game itself is that Bowser has amassed a mechanized military force for this particular engagement, outfitting his children with heavily-armed Airships and protecting his own Kingdom with tanks, jets, and battleships.

Sorry to double post but dear god something tells me Moviebob doesn’t like Chris Pratt

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They'll have to cancel Charles Martinet too if they want to go with that retarded route, i guess Boebert would be happy with that since he prefers Lou Albano as Mario.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Sorry to double post but dear god something tells me Moviebob doesn’t like Chris Pratt

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Last December the woman who played Black Panther's little sister got cancelled hard because she dared question the vax. Bob got all smug about knowing about the inner workings of, paraphrasing, the ignorant and superstitious negress a few days later. You see, she was close to Chris Pratt for reasons that no one other than Bob could figure out. Black people cannot be friends with white people unless that white person does nothing but apologize for being white. If not it's because they both believe in a sky daddy who tells them to inject fish bowl cleaner into their horses because Jesus or something and they all need to be sterilized and have their rights stripped. It's common knowledge.

I say that all just to say that he pretends to tolerate Pratt right now because Pratt played Starlord and if we get rid of Pratt we get rid of Gunn in the MCU. This is the cross that Bob must bear. The fact that Pratt went from chunky to hunky, has a wife and a family, works with James Gunn, and is an open Christian chaps Robert's hide something fierce.

The only thing I could find of Bob saying something nice-ish about Pratt, and yet still kinda vile (it's his politics that should cancel him not him praying for the guy who made Clerks), that isn't about MCU or Jurassic World.

I don't know what about Chris Pratt's politics is "semi-difficult to understand". From what he's said it seems pretty clear to me. Perhaps Bob just had a submental fart.

 

[Adamska]

Last December the woman who played Black Panther's little sister got cancelled hard because she dared question the vax. Bob got all smug about knowing about the inner workings of, paraphrasing, the ignorant and superstitious negress a few days later. You see, she was close to Chris Pratt for reasons that no one other than Bob could figure out. Black people cannot be friends with white people unless that white person does nothing but apologize for being white. If not it's because they both believe in a sky daddy who tells them to inject fish bowl cleaner into their horses because Jesus or something and they all need to be sterilized and have their rights stripped. It's common knowledge.

I say that all just to say that he pretends to tolerate Pratt right now because Pratt played Starlord and if we get rid of Pratt we get rid of Gunn in the MCU. This is the cross that Bob must bear. The fact that Pratt went from chunky to hunky, has a wife and a family, works with James Gunn, and is an open Christian chaps Robert's hide something fierce.

The only thing I could find of Bob saying something nice-ish about Pratt, and yet still kinda vile (it's his politics that should cancel him not him praying for the guy who made Clerks), that isn't about MCU or Jurassic World.
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I don't know what about Chris Pratt's politics is "semi-difficult to understand". From what he's said it seems pretty clear to me. Perhaps Bob just had a submental fart.

Bob's confused because he's a crayon eating retard who doesn't understand nuance, for all he pretends to with his media "consumption".

The concept of a christian socialist or leftie christian fries his smooth little brain into quiche.

 

[Absolutego]

No no I want it to be extremely bad since if it's good, Bob will just change his mind and have a mild reaction especially if his niece and nephew like it

Nah, we win no matter what. If it's good, we get to read Bob's doctoral thesis on how Princess Peach pulling goofy faces with a minion-esque Toad is arthouse cinema and how Mario throwing Bowser into a pit is a metaphor for the 2020 election.

You know I'm actually shocked Bob isn't getting hyped for a Mario childrens movie, I figured that would be his dream. I mean I know it looks like shit but I never thought that would bother him, does he actually think that Mario is so important that it needs a three part epic in the style of Lord of the Rings to tell the story of an Italian plumber beating up turtles?

Bob has always been deeply insecure about how childish his interests are, and has always thought that super serious, 2deep4u adaptations of his favorite franchises are what will finally give him the respect he deserves for knowing so much about them. You can reliably see this whenever he discusses western Kaiju movies, where he'll bring up nonsense headcanon he invented over the course of multiple trips to the theater as fact to make the movie look more deep than garden-variety monster schlock, and in his proposals for any and all video game adaptations. He wanted a Paradise Lost epic for a Care Bears movie. His Sonic film proposal was an edgy version of High Plains Drifter. And his Mario saga must be a live action LOTR-tier epic if it will ever match the delusions he's spent the past 40 years building in his head about the Mario narrative.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Bad news fam, more of the cast dropped.

Mario Movie Cast Includes Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Jack Black; R…

archived 24 Sep 2021 14:46:16 UTC

archive.ph

Seth Rogen, even more than Key, is the most disappointing one so far. Donkey Kong ooks. Now he's gonna do "dude weed lmao" jokes and talk about how much he respects Amy Schumer's stinky vagina.

I am full mast for Ryan Gosling doing nothing but making these noises.

Because we have the curse of Lego Movie, I cannot just write this off as being a horrific cash in but man is it looking like it.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Bad news fam, more of the cast dropped.
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Mario Movie Cast Includes Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Jack Black; R…

archived 24 Sep 2021 14:46:16 UTC

archive.ph

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Seth Rogen, even more than Key, is the most disappointing one so far. Donkey Kong ooks. Now he's gonna do "dude weed lmao" jokes and talk about how much he respects Amy Schumer's stinky vagina.

I am full mast for Ryan Gosling doing nothing but making these noises.

Because we have the curse of Lego Movie, I cannot just write this off as being a horrific cash in but man is it looking like it.

Not only is this going to be a bigger shitstorm than the Sonic movie, but Bob is going to have a ten times bigger meltdown because of it.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I can see him going on a psuedo-intellectual rant, sure, but it'll be about how much the movie sucks. Even if the kids like it, I can't see that preventing him from tearing into the movie because he's made it clear ever since this thing was announced that he hates it solely for the reason that it's animated. I'm probably wrong about him telling them they're bad kids to their face, but they likely won't sway his opinion.

Also, one thing I forgot to mention. If it sucks, that means he was right. And he would love that. He's been going on for years about how the Mario movie needs to be a live action Lord of the Rings style epic that leads into a big franchise that'll go on for decades, because that's the only way to properly do it in his mind. It being a silly kids movie would make him hate it, whether he admits it or not, especially if it was a blockbuster hit. And if it gets a sequel? He would be pissed. But if it fails? We'll get endless videos about how right he was that it was going to fail and how if Nintendo had just been smart enough to listen to him, everything would be okay. Hell, when you consider his reactions to Joker and Sonic, he'll probably make one of those videos anyway because he refuses to admit when he's wrong. But in the event of a win over this, the level of smugness coming from Bob could sustain his ego for years.

Considering the reaction the liberals on twitter are having to Pratt's casting makes me want it to succeed even more because if it does, Bob will whine even harder that the 'wrong people' are enjoying the Mario movie. But if it fails, then once again he's on the right side of history.

Oh I know, I just figured that if it failed then Bob will have a meltdown especially since Nintendo will likely never make another Mario movie. But I would want it to make a shit load of money and be shit at the same time so that it can get sequels. The movie being good would just have Bob be more soft on his critiques since it's a Mario movie that did well and Mario is his friend.

I want the movie to be bad like how Illumination movies usually are and make so much money to warrant sequels.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

"Mario movie is a great idea. How about also a Tetris movie as well?" - Some Hollywood Jew who's life consists only of numbers, brand pull, and hopefully killing himself in a year.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

When'd Jack Black turn into Grandpa Stalin?

(Stalin Claus, maybe? Not sure but I just get this feeling like he should have small presents for my kids, made out of dead subversives.)

 

[Flexo]

Bobby, as usual, has nothing but respect:

Did anybody notice yet the people in the video are Asian?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Robert, please keep dragging those who oppose vaccine mandates as subhumans who don’t matter. Please.

'We're putting this city on notice... Black people are not going to stand by, or you will see an uprising. And that is not a threat. That is a promise,' Newsome declared.

Her threat comes as data shows black New York City residents are less likely to have received the COVID jab than their white counterparts - with 38 percent of black New Yorkers fully vaccinated compared to 49 percent of whites.

Newsome was speaking outside Carmine's - an Italian restaurant on Manhattan's Upper West Side - where three black women from Texas were arrested for attacking a hostess after members of their group were refused entry because they did not have proof of vaccination.

Newsome joined a protest of 40 people outside Carmine's, where she stated: '72 percent of black people in this city from ages 18 to 44 are unvaccinated,' she declared.

'So what is going to stop the Gestapo, I mean the NYPD, from rounding up black people, from snatching them off the train, off the bus? ... The vaccination passport is not a free passport to racism.'