Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Laughingjoke2]

One of the critics that Bob is saying knows better than all of us normal watchers.

I see that jaw line and hands with that voice and name Ian makes sense before even spoken or seen.

Edit: posted with old dropped post by mistake sorry.

 

[Cantercoin]

One of the critics that Bob is saying knows better than all of us normal watchers.

Lmao niggas got a literal potato head and sounds like a less retarded Chris chan

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Lmao niggas got a literal potato head and sounds like a less exceptional Chris chan

I listened to this to see if true, and jesus christ it really does sound like CWC

 

[Juan's Sombrero]

Honestly? I think it's the fact that he's realizing his 20 years of internet warrior-ing hasn't, isn't and cannot bring the futcha he wants and he's not going to get that immortal robot body. It's a crisis of techno-faith.

Everyone has dumb ideas as a kid/adolescent.


When everyone else in his peer cohort grew up and realized that the gleaming-tower-and-spaceships future of pop culture wasn't coming in their lifetimes, if at all? They worked for what they could get in the real, existent world and not a hypothetical "future" one. While their plebian goals and baser desires (In Bob's eye) were pooh-pooh'd as meaningless, simple and below him, they at least were achieved. Bob's dreams and goals? (Which he never worked for , just thought he deserved for having visualized them?) They continued to be unfulfilled, year after year.


Nevertheless, He held on to his belief in the Human Techno-Transcendence solving all his problems and rocketing him ahead of all the bullies and Chads with a smug "You'll see" arrogance....

Bob doubled-down and sat on the corner, suitcase in hand, waiting for them to build the hyperloop by his house so he could be the first to ride it in his shiny, new, Robobob body from which he'd look down upon all who ever mocked him and laugh at their lesser existence. (Said body hasn't been build yet, but no biggie, I'm sure it will be... did you see that article in the news about that little robot that can walk up and down the stairs unassisted? It can't be that far off! I've done the only thing I have to do... pick out what color I want mine to be!)

He expected this all to happen by the year 2000

When it didn't, eh, he was bummed, but, these things can have a delay or two, right? (Darn Mayoghouls) I'll be magnanimous and accept a 5 year delay, but no more! Them scientists just got to work a little harder, don't they know the stakes?

But then time slipped to 2005... 2008... 2012... and before you know it, here we are, 2021, and the streets around his house look pretty much exactly the same not only as they did when he was kid, but when his parents were kids.... the cars are newer, but they're still cars, they don't fly, and there's no robots..... and it's painfully dawning on him that there never will be, which means he won't get his robot body before he dies.


That's what really has him cheesed: the despair setting in as he realizes he's nominally on the backside of life and his "eh, super-smaht scientists will solve it, they've got 50 years to do it!" mantra that was stupid, but comforting, when he didn't have the life experience to see it as such in his teens? That is now breaking down under the cold, hard, fact outside his very window:

The projected date of that breakthrough that will enable his immortality has now been moved well beyond his own projected check-out date, even under the best of circumstances.

And far from there being a quantum-leap in science to make up for that deferred success, everything he sees around him tells him science is stagnating, what with people refusing to trust THE SCIENCE (tm) that the modern left pushes.... his only shot now is a desperate hail-Mary that some supreme comic-book level intelligence somewhere will just jot down the solution to mortality on a napkin, but he now fears such a person will drop dead in the street after a passing Trump supporter who wouldn't get the jab coughs on them..... ruining everything, even though we were SO CLOSE!!!

He's TERRIFIED of the implications of this scenario and MAD at those wasted years he can't get back, and furious at all those he sees as "wasting" the resource points of the human RPG on things in the tech tree that don't bring robots. Like, ugh, sports, and farming. (but not movies, those are important)

Since his own ego won't allow introspection, the anger has to attach to someone else.

TL : DR - Bob's mad because he's suffering the technocrat's mid-age crisis: The future he simped for arrived, and it looks less like The Jetsons and more like The Simpsons and they still haven't overcome that triviality that is uploading your brain into a computer so you can live forever. HOW HARD COULD IT BE??!

Part of me still can't really believe that he expected any kind of futuristic technology to be conceived within just a few decades. Let alone one or even half. Especially the kind that can transfer his consciousness into a chiseled, Adonis like body to show off to his former bullies and smugly proclaim that he's better than them.

First of all, technology like that would be astronomically exorbitant no matter how you slice it.

Second of all, where's Blobby gonna get that much money?

Finally, third, is he even serious at all? Like, did he really expect a Jetsons like future where we're all riding on flying cars and busses within this lifetime?

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Seething over Joe Rogan:
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This literally doesn't make any sense. Rogan was smeared and directly confronted someone semi-involved about it and that person admitted it, then went back to CNN and helped to smear him again. Whether Rogan is a comedian, MMA announcer, podcast host OR journalist makes no difference. If Rogan claimed to be a journalist Robert would mock him, perhaps rightly, for that claim but it wouldn't change whether or not it's wrong for CNN to lie about Rogan. If anything the fact that Rogan is not a journalist probably makes it even more ethically wrong for CNN to "fact check" him just to lie about what he did.

Or maybe Robert is trying to actually claim that Joe Rogan is a journalist? I seriously get more confused in this thread than anything.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

"I don't even care if you call me something degrading"

Well that sure doesn't sound like a fetish.
Where does Bob come across such fascinating people? And a critic too?

Maybe Bobby is hearing wedding bells.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Part of me still can't really believe that he expected any kind of futuristic technology to be conceived within just a few decades. Let alone one or even half. Especially the kind that can transfer his consciousness into a chiseled, Adonis like body to show off to his former bullies and smugly proclaim that he's better than them.

First of all, technology like that would be astronomically exorbitant no matter how you slice it.

Second of all, where's Blobby gonna get that much money?

Finally, third, is he even serious at all? Like, did he really expect a Jetsons like future where we're all riding on flying cars and busses within this lifetime?

Yes he is serious, I mean he does have genuinely retarded beliefs like death can be defeated, 9/11 was caused by the US government teaming up with EA or Activision, and that Gamergate was a conspiracy to prevent Hillary from becoming president.

 

[The Valeyard]

Well, since the new Batman trailer just dropped. Let's see how fast will fatso have another meltdown about it.

Bobby's Angel

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Literally all it would take to remove his mark on the world is for someone to steal away into his youtube account and delete everything.

That's how easy it is to wipe away any trace that Bob Chipman existed.

Well... it wouldn't be that easy. You would still have to remove this website.

Bob will forever be assblasted that us, his supposed enemies, will ultimately be the ones who get to define the legacy of Bob Chipman. Not him, not his work. The people that mocked him for him being him.

 

[BubbleButt]

Well... it wouldn't be that easy. You would still have to remove this website.

Gotta renew that shit, nigga. Hard to do that when you're fuckin dead

 

[A Very Big Fish]

Yeah, this sites gone the second Null decides he's done or he goes to the great banana pepper farm in the sky. It'll probably survive Bob, but I think most things will.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Robert unsurprisingly spent a bunch of tweets incoherently hating the Flash teaser too.

A third Wonder Woman film was announced over a year ago and had been all but confirmed along with an Amazon focused spin-off two years ago. But he's the film industry expert!

 

[Brother Wind]

I listened to this to see if true, and jesus christ it really does sound like CWC

I was like, how the fuck do you sound like CWC without being, actually CWC. Jesus Christ, I never imagined it was possible

 

[Juan's Sombrero]

9/11 was caused by the US government teaming up with EA or Activision

...I stared at this sentence for approximately 20 minutes after you responded.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

...I stared at this sentence for approximately 20 minutes after you responded.

Yes Bob actually believed that, I don't know why but given he associates conservatives with FPS gamers, he probably thought that connected it somehow

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Bobby's Angel
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Bob really is seething that Reeves Batman isn't some campy 60s shit, but with how Bob is a "film critic" he sure likes to judge a movie and hate it to an extreme level before seeing it.

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

It's raw spite, I'd wager....

We know as-is that Bobby:

Can't out-compete you economically.

Can't out-argue you on the finer points of philosophy.

Can't out-fuck you in the bedroom.

Can't out-last you in a physical competition,

Can't out-perform you in a talent show.

I agree.

That always seems to be part of the reason behind Bob and his ilk’s animosity towards us.

Spite, pure jealousy.

Because they know they can’t beat us in anything.

Well, since the new Batman trailer just dropped. Let's see how fast will fatso have another meltdown about it.

Bob really is seething that Reeves Batman isn't some campy 60s shit, but with how Bob is a "film critic" he sure likes to judge a movie and hate it to an extreme level before seeing it.

I saw the trailer, I gotta say, I’m not really interested by the looks of the film. But until I see it, I’ll reserve my final judgment.

What did you guys think of the trailer?

 

[Toxinophile]

Episode 15 "The Politics of Gaming"

Surprisingly there's no Politicking Rage from Bob in this video. Mic's still crusty though, Skip IMO.

The video is just a list of Bob's fantasies about which video game character would vote for who in the 2008 election. You don't need a video for that, just a simple list will do.

ORIGINALLY POSTED NOVEMBER 27, 2008

PREAMBLE
0:00 intro & shilling
0:30 2008 election talk
0:45 Wow we elected Obama
1:00 Man America has come a long way
1:10 We can finally brag to Europe how we got a black man as president, instead of bragging about WWII like before.
1:15 Those Europoors can shit talk all they want but currently none of them have a prominent black man in power
1:20-1:55 No gaming news for Nov. 2008, not anything important anyway.
1:55-2:38 Bob here describes John McCain as basically an anime protagonist with a Bayonetta look-alike and act-alike by his side.
2:38 Bob talks about liberals and conservatives, in the purest sense, not the kinds of liberals and conservatives that argue about religion and abortion in everyday politics.

PART 1:
Bob defines it like so:
Liberals - want big government
Conservatives - want small government
3:50 "I want it on the record because I don't to get too many bitchy emails for opining that, on a narrative level, gaming has a slightly frequent conservative bent to it... ...I'm talking about broad thematic elements to it."-booob
- for example games are heavily competitive
- for example games LOVE their guns
- 4:36 another example is Final fantasy.
- FF stories like 11 and 10 and 7 are about big bad government vs. small rebels wielding fuckhueg anime guns and weapons
- Actually most game stories are LIBERTARIAN
- As in the kind that believes in the self-dependent man that doesn't want a nanny state or a moral police
-"Basically a Libertarian is a Republican with a brain, or a Democrat with a penis."-Bob, Master of Politics

PART 2: Bob now tells us ask ourselves who and what videogame characters would vote for in the 2008 election.

5:45-8:40 "Now here comes the fun part! How do you think your favorite video game character would vote?"-MovieBob, making politics FUN.
-Don't answer too quickly because Bob wants to show us his list first.

BOB'S LIST
(Street Fighter) Guile - R
(Mappy) Mappy - R
(Guily Gear) Bridget - D
King Dedede - R
Princess Peach - D
(Street Fighter) Cammy - D + Only does it because she's lesbian for Sarah Palin
(Mortal Kombat) Sub-Zero - R
(Mortal Kombat) Scorpion - D
(Street Fighter) T. Hawk - D
Tingle - Voted Nader
Dr. Robotnik - R
Knuckles - D
Meta Knight - Ron Paul

PART 3: The more nuanced part of the list

Mario and Luigi - New York Plumbers that are probably Unionized, they'd vote Democrat

Link - Fairy boy looks like he votes D but he's practically a video game version of Ted Nugent, so Republican

Solid Snake - R reluctantly, otherwise he'd vote for Ron Paul

(Star Fox) Fox McCloud and the gang - R, Bob says the games are essentially TOP GUN but with furries in outer space.

Bob claims Fox McCloud is basically an expy for John Wayne.

(Army of Two) Salem and Rios - R no questions asked, but Bob thinks they're in reality gay lovers that are pissed about PROP 8

I wonder where Bob got this particular idea, because I'd like to present these pair of videos.

You decide if they're gay lovers or not.

8:40 Bob is finally done, and then tells us to think more thoughtfully about our personal politics, we might be surprised.
And then points out how in poor taste that Call of Duty: World at War's Cinematic Trailer was released on Veteran's Day.
And then one last Shill for The Escapists
And then one last jab at PETA.
>End

 

[The tired cat]

I saw the trailer, I gotta say, I’m not really interested by the looks of the film. But until I see it, I’ll reserve my final judgment.

What did you guys think of the trailer?

I kinda dug it, mostly because: 1. It seems to actually show Batman do detective work (which was only sort of touched on in the Nolan movies); 2. I dig the much more moody/dark vibe since I don't think the Nolan movies got to that angle and I actually like they made the Riddler the main bad guy (instead of retracing old ground with the Joker). Now, for all we know the movie might be bad, but so far it looks promising.

 

[TowinKarz]

9/11 was caused by the US government teaming up with EA or Activision,

Woah, my turn to be incredulous, did he actually say that for real? If so, plz link, I need the laugh.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Woah, my turn to be incredulous, did he actually say that for real? If so, plz link, I need the laugh.

It was according to someone who used to be on the same forum as him where that guy said it on a podcast and it was like this

-Bob believes the US and EA or Activision colluded together so FPS games would cause 9/11

As a bonus

This belief

-Bob believes in a conspiracy that the US gov uses FPS games to hypnotize gamers into killing "brown people"