Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Blobby is in fine form. Reading over his verbal diarrhea has been exhausting today. Being so worked up that one of your beloved MCU movies is being critically derided and thinking it pertains to some hidden agenda is pure, undistilled autism. Honestly, I doubt it will be the death knell of the future of the MCU, but it has been refreshing to see critics not riding the cock of this trash. I feel like these films cater to the instant gratification crowd. I've attempted to watch a few MCU films, and the abundance of close up VFX shots and how busy some of the scenes are at the pace they fly is almost nauseating. I'd take a direct to video Steven Seagal movie over this any day as at least I'd get a laugh out of it.
 
>Be you
>It's Halloween night
>All the kiddies have come and gone
>Candy has been handed out
>Porch light is about to be turned off when you hear the bell ring.
>Open the door curiously
>Greeted by this image
>"Trick or treat~"


Does he just suck in his cheeks? For the life of me, I have never seen anyone who has that weird kind of indent. Its really strange.
He does. He's attempting to make himself look thinner (especially compared to his brother), but all it does is make him look unnatural.
 
Does he just suck in his cheeks? For the life of me, I have never seen anyone who has that weird kind of indent. Its really strange.

He does. He's attempting to make himself look thinner (especially compared to his brother), but all it does is make him look unnatural.

He very obviously does when you compare this photo with his avatar:
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Those, ahem, geographical features are gone because he can't bare his teeth and suck in his cheeks at the same time
 
I'll split the update into two (maybe three) separate posts to facillate quoting.

EternalsEternalsEternalsEternalsEternalsEternalsEternals... I hate this shit.
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"Flattening criticism to a score" is suddenly "TERRIBLE for the medium and culture", when Bobby's fap material gets a low score:
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The emojis mean Bobby is totally joking. He can't seriously suggest he can't find see anything happening in Dune can he?

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Bobby is totally not partisan:
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We'll hear more (much more in fact) about The Eternals shortly. But first, let see how Bobby's animosity towards Villeneuve makes pretzels out of his neurons.
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Devon's joke can be easily countered with "Imagine you're the financier of this film and this bloke tells you this..." But no, for Bobby comprehensibility is a liability. Doesn't that sounds like the "pretentious twit films" that Bobby hates?


In this section I gather the tweets that touch upon the SJW aspects of The Eternals.
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We'll hear more from Fallen Angel before the night is up.

The Eternals cannot be an exercise in virtue signaling, because there is no such thing as "virtue signaling"!
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NYP is racist because they criticized an Asian unknown:
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Bobby's self-awareness is being called to question. His Angels rush to his defense:
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Yup. Someone watched Cuties to own the cons.

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On the supposed relatedness between artistic merits and sociological merits, and how critics "get it wrong":
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Instead of labelling the film's detractors as MAGA trash, maybe Bobby should appeal to the learned demographic? Let the Esoteric Philosophy out of the bag please! If he can convince me to see the film I promise I'll donate $100 to Mermaids UK.


Let's begin this final section with the fallout of that laughable "I suffered for my knowledge so that other people don't have to" tweet:
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Maybe people didn't see the humor because there is none?

Bobby helped his neighbors set up for Halloween.
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Unfortunately, some kiddie fun just got canceled:
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I think this is TV. Don't care:
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Bobby is right again:
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Don't forget the next product to get excited about!
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I'd much rather contemplate the putrefaction of a rat than to see anything by Brie Larson.

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I think here that Bob is trying a little TOO hard to convince us/have us believe that he's moved to another "apartment"/suite where he lives with nobody. But it's like, DUDE. Living alone in your mother's basement in an "apartment" seemingly separate from the rest of the house isn't living alone if your mom is in the house too somewhere. Either that or he was at Mommy's place long enough to vote before flying the coop for another half-flooded basement hovel that was different slightly from the previous floody basement hovel? Anyone wanna check his voter registration again? Or maybe he just left it as his mom's place to own the Kiwis so we wouldn't "dox" him again and he actually does have a new flooded basement hovel?
 
Keep letting rage against Rotten Tomatoes. He doesn't seem to realise it, but we've been down this road before. Remember Metacritic?
Remember how there was a split between audience and critic reviews?
Remember how game journalists figured out they review bomb games that didn't toe the political line? (You are here)
Remember how Metacritic became an irrelevant relic as people watched YouTubers instead?

I mean, it's not as if down-to-earth YouTubers like RedLetterMedia and Critical Drinker are now the faces of movie criticism. That would never happen.
Rotten Tomatoes quite publicly sold it's soul to try and make Birds of Prey into a hit, and first denied, then fessed up, they'd been removing bad reviews of it because, clearly, those were being left by misogynists' who didn't even see the movie...... the only reason to pay any attention to it nowadays is to laugh as the critics cry like Wojack, pointing to the 80+ fresh rating given by the critics as the theatre seats sit empty..... there is no other purpose for it.
 
"Let's Go Brandon!", refering to a Southwest Airline pilot's anti-Biden flight announcement, is trending:
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Bobby is especially mad that such an obsolete, ignorant subhuman can learn and get a job flying a plane, while he himself, a coastal elite loaded with esoteric knowledge, rots in a waterlogged basement:
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Protesters are protesters except when the Dems call them "terrorists".
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MAGA trash are not our "ACTUAL poor", and Luke shares his PhD take:
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Finally, Joe Biden continues to be suffering from dementia:
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A candidate of an Iowan school board wants to notify the parents of children who borrowed gay porn from the school library. Yes, school library stocks gay porn. See the thumbnail.
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Bobby takes an interest in his brother's favorite Angel:
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Pre-troon pictures:
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Non Polish people should retweet the shit about this to their reps, urging them to be more like Poland.


The Wim Wenders comparison again. Not gonna lie, if The Eternals has good music like a Wenders's film I'll go and see it, and donate $100 to Mermaids UK.
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While Bobby compares The Eternals to Wenders and Fassbinder, Chris continues to insist that it is closer to Synder:
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Cholé Zhao, as if there weren't woman who directed MCU shit before.
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"I travelled the world living among the people. I saw people fight and lie and kill... but then I also saw people laugh and love and create and dream... This planet, and this people, have changed me."
I have a feeling that the "philosophy" explored in The Eternals is as esoteric as a Hallmark Holiday Special (video)
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Someone is reading too much into an old creature feature -- and for a change this was not Bobby:
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(Video, 11 minutes.)

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Yet his Patreon earnings remains static:
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I'm not American, but it blows me away how many people are still so fucked up over Trump. Has Bobby even left the confines of his state? I always found it ironic that the most vocal proponents of this type of shit have no real world experience in well, ANYTHING. Calling for the dismissal of a pilot based on his political affiliation is fucking retarded, and as far as I can tell it was a joke? I agree that he shouldn't have made an announcement of such a nature as in most jobs you should remain apolitical when on the clock (even in jest), espeically when delaing with the public. I'd expect some form of internal disciplinary action, but that's it. It takes some form of dedication and education to become a commercial pilot, nothing an obese waste of skin like Bobby could ever accomplish. I'd barely trust him to make my sandwich, but even then he'd be a disgrace to his fellow service workers. Goddamn Dorsey, pull the plug on this shit.

Bobby represents some of the worst humanity has to offer. His deranged bloodlust towards people who don't share his exact ideology parrots some of the worst atrocities in human history. At least own your hate, cunt.

Also, Biden comes across as dementia addled and barely present. I mean he's rarely coherent at the best of times. Americans with any sense must be reeling.
 
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All of his bitching about Dennis Villeneuve had me thinking: Has he actually watched Arrival?

There's a scene midway when a few marines, after watching totally-not-Alex Jones telling them the aliens who are stationed at the field are there to annihilate humanity, go to their oblong spaceship and start shooting it, which almost puts the entire mission to communicate peacefully with the aliens to complete waste, and potentially actually initiate a hostile counterattack. It is essentially a commentary about the radicalization of people in front of new experiences by other people who are too ignorant to know better and promptly assume the worse. You'd think the blob would enjoy this obvious riff at certain personalities and feel vindicated they are depicted in such a negative manner.

Also, the main character briefly derides a certain news channel for supposedly reaching those same assumptions during a phone call with her mother, who apparently watched that channel on the regular. No need to guess which channel it was, even if it was not referred to by name during the movie.
 
Probably an unpopular opinion but I'm willing to go so far to believe that Bob may have gotten some pitty pussy at his short stint at college. I fully admit that there's no direct proof of that though I would like to submit that Bob is an exceptional projectionist and I have no recollection of him ever calling someone a virgin. It's just some food for thought.
This is a great point. You've actually managed to convince me that it's not completely impossible that even Robert has managed to insert his no doubt chode-like member into some dimwitted landwhale.
It never ceases to put a giant shit-eating grin on my face when Robert and his ilk play the tough guy from the safety of mothers basement.

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This is the stellar specimen of a man who will, apparently, fuck you up. His magnificent physique, which is quite obviously capable of benchpressing 300 lbs, will make sure you rue the day you thought to consoom the incorrect product. Those awe-inspiring arms certainly do not tell lies, and his core is nothing short of chiseled stone, capable of exerting great power (I'm obviously not refering to the workings of his digestive tract).

Pray tell, what are you going to do, Robert? What does it entail to "find out", and how will you enact the lesson you aim to teach us? :)
 
A candidate of an Iowan school board wants to notify the parents of children who borrowed gay porn from the school library. Yes, school library stocks gay porn. See the thumbnail.
TFW you're so entrenched in your politics that you defend porn being put in kid's libraries because it's what you think it's what will help your side.
 
This is a great point. You've actually managed to convince me that it's not completely impossible that even Robert has managed to insert his no doubt chode-like member into some dimwitted landwhale.

It never ceases to put a giant shit-eating grin on my face when Robert and his ilk play the tough guy from the safety of mothers basement.

subhumanbob1-jpg.2670687


This is the stellar specimen of a man who will, apparently, fuck you up. His magnificent physique, which is quite obviously capable of benchpressing 300 lbs, will make sure you rue the day you thought to consoom the incorrect product. Those awe-inspiring arms certainly do not tell lies, and his core is nothing short of chiseled stone, capable of exerting great power (I'm obviously not refering to the workings of his digestive tract).

Pray tell, what are you going to do, Robert? What does it entail to "find out", and how will you enact the lesson you aim to teach us? :)
Given his tale of a lesbian teaching him cuntalingus the farthest I'm willing to believe is that Bobert was the Beard for some really ugly land whale dyke and he got at a pitty reward of going down on her and he was so bad at it that it sent her running out of the closet. But to him that's a win a breaking his cherry. But I can not believe any female allowed his dick inside her.
 
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